Now and Then
by SunnyCharm
Summary: Now and then, before and after. She could not control what happened that fateful day - yet refuses to forgive the man who broke her heart by breaking a promise, and struggles to let go of the past she cannot alter.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

_Now …_

Those lying bastards had told her that there would be stages of grief – what where they? Katara couldn't remember and, what's more, she couldn't be bothered. _They_ had told her that, over time, the pain would heal and she could start afresh. But they had been wrong, because every night, even now, months later, she still woke up screaming at Aang to get out of the way; woke up sobbing her heart out because he hadn't been fast enough.

This night had been no different – Katara had woken up with heart hammering so hard she thought it might burst through her chest, woken up with tears pouring down her face, hands clutching at her sheets, when in reality they were searching for a way to bring him back into her arms.

She was soaked in sweat, her bed sheets glued to her legs and arms. Feeling claustrophobic, she kicked the blankets away and staggered, half-awake, across the room, until she reached the window. Staring out into the night sky, inky-blue and shining with a million silver stars, Katara lifted her gaze, seeking out the brightest one of all.

'The brightest star shines the shortest,' she murmured over and over again, untying her mother's necklace and pressing her lips against its metal, still warm from the heat of her body 'The brightest star shines the shortest.'

*

For the first month after Aang had gone, Katara hadn't been able to taste food properly – everything felt like ash on her tongue. Everything had been flavorless and dull, and not even the spiciest, the most exotic foods couldn't liven her taste buds.

Breakfast was some sort of cold rice, with chunks of meat on top of it. Aang hadn't eaten meat, and Katara wouldn't have either if she had cared. But she hadn't cared since that day …

Katara groaned, closing her eyes, trying to hold the memories back …

_Then …_

_Something had gone wrong – and not even her healing water would fix it. Zuko's face was wrought with silent agony, the body in his arms still and lifeless._

'_NO!'_

_Now …_

Without realizing, Katara had started crying. She had made herself promise not to break down in public, but this was different. This wasn't a ceremony for the Avatar's fiancée with a plaza crowded with strangers; this was the dining room with Zuko. He had been carrying Aang … he understood …

_Then …_

_Katara had never before felt this burning desire, deep within her heart. She wanted to kill, but the agony of seeing him in Zuko's arms, limp and silent, quenched this desire, or at least held it back, robbing her of her ability to move, rendering her body as cold and still as Aang, with her fire burning deep within._

_Now …_

Katara woke up in her bedroom, her body curled inwards, in the fetal position. Her face wet with tears. A part of her wondered who had carried her into her room – the last thing she remembered was sitting at the table, silently crying – but then all of her being was consumed with grief and there was nothing left to do but wait.

Aang was gone for good, and now amount of tears could bring him back – Katara knew that.

But it didn't mean that a tiny part of her wasn't going to stop trying.

***

_Come on Katara, you can do this. Yesterday was simply a bad day. You're a big girl now; you can stand up on your own two feet without having to lean on someone else._

Her hair was a mess. Using her fingers as a makeshift comb, Katara pulled her hair back into a bun, fastening it.

_You can do this. _

Katara stopped, dropping her hands, letting her hair tumble lose around her shoulders.

_No, I can't._

***

'Would you like it if you went back home?'

Katara's head jerked up.

'What?'

Zuko repeated his question.

'I don't get it. What do you mean?'

The Fire Lord sighed. 'Katara, you're miserable and you hate it here –'

'I don't _hate_ it –'

'– Don't lie to me. Anyway, I was asking you if you wanted to go back to the South Pole.'

Katara paused, thinking. Going to the South Pole would mean seeing more of Dad, Gran Gran, Sokka, and Suki. She would be able to get out of the Fire Nation – and she wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing – and see her family again. She could go penguin sledding and fishing and wear her thick blue coat again because it was _always_ cold at the South Pole and pretend that none of this had ever, ever happened.

Katara realized that Zuko was expecting an answer. 'I …' Katara looked down at the table, not wanting to meet his gaze, 'I don't know.'

Zuko groaned. Her head shot up.

'What?' she asked, anger instantly flaring through her veins. That's what she was like these days, all highs and lows – never in the middle.

'I ask you a simple question: do you want to go home or not? But you don't answer me properly; you keep avoiding everything I say!' Zuko's voice was low and angry, his eyes narrowed.

Katara stood up quickly, so quickly her chair was knocked to the ground, attracting stares from several of the guards on duty. The Fire Lord arguing with the avatar's supposedly suicidal fiancée _would_ be an interesting spectacle.

'Here's the truth,' she said, bending the soup out of her bowl and smacking it down on the table, cutting right through the wood, 'I don't care. You can't make me care!' She turned her back on Zuko and left the room, ignoring his shouts.

'_No amount of not caring is going to bring him back!' _

Katara slammed the door to her bedroom shut. A tiny voice in her head, the voice of reason, told her that she had just done something extremely childish and silly, but the rest of her was too angry to care. Katara told herself that she wouldn't start to cry until she had reached her bed, but even as she was locking the door the tears were starting to fall.

**Notes: Yes, this story does start out with a Kataang pairing - even if Aang is dead. I don't want to give too much away, so I'll have to keep you in suspense ...**

***cackle***


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

Today wasn't going to be a good day – Katara just knew, despite the fact it was barely morning and she hadn't left her bed. She could hear the steady drum of rain on the roof; a cool breeze was blowing through her bedroom window. Turning her head and looking through it, Katara could see that massive black thunderclouds were resting lazily in the sky.

Memories of the previous night arose, and Katara felt her stomach turn. She wasn't supposed to be breaking tables and yelling at the Fire Lord – she was supposed to be cool and collected, or at the very least keep herself in one piece in public.

Sighing, Katara got out of bed, feeling strangely calm – even though she knew that today was going to be terrible. She would have to endure yet another awkward breakfast with Zuko, only to have to attend yet another memorial service, or possibly an award ceremony, in honor of Aang.

Although everyone meant well, to Katara thee ceremonies were like a slap in the face. _Here's a nice shiny medal/pretty speech to remind you that the man you love is gone. _Sokka had hated these ceremonies as well – apart from Suki's pregnancy, which had been the obvious reason, it had been one of the major factors in his decision to leave the Fire Nation. And Suki didn't want to raise their child in the Fire Nation, Sokka had told her of all the horrors of the education system, usually with Aang at his side.

Tear formed in Katara's eyes. She blinked hard, refusing to let herself cry. She had to go downstairs and apologize to Zuko for potentially wrecking his fancy Fire Nation table.

_Sorry I broke your table. I'm just upset because Aang's dead. I hope you understand._

'Hey,' said Katara, forcing herself to smile.

Zuko looked up. He had shadows under his eyes. 'Oh. Morning.'

Katara walked across the room and took a seat – this was going to be extremely awkward. 'Listen,' she began, 'I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to …' she trailed off, looking down at the huge mark her waterbending had left on the table.

'Don't worry about it, I hated the thing.'

'What?' Katara had swallowed some water from her mug and barely escaped coughing it all over the table.

Zuko's golden eyes were dead serious. 'It's huge and it's ugly and takes up way more space than it ever needed to. Plus it belonged to my father. I've always wanted a good excuse to get rid of it.'

Katara almost felt like smiling. 'Maybe you could burn it,' she suggested. 'A ceremonial burning with tribal masks and dancing.'

Zuko laughed. 'You're in an awfully good mood today,' he observed. 'Maybe you should break tables more often.'

Katara blinked, understanding what Zuko had said was true. Then she realized – last night, she hadn't had nightmares. She had slept peacefully, something that she hadn't done since that day…

_Then …_

_No. No. No._

_No!_

_**NO!**_

'_This is all your fault!' _

'_Katara-'_

'_You said he would be okay! You promised me!' _

'_I-'_

'_You promised to protect him! You __**promised me**__!' _

_Sokka's hand was on her arm, pulling her back, but Katara tugged away. _

'_You killed Aang!'_

_Now …_

It turned out that this was simply a memorial service – no nice shiny medals this time round. It didn't really matter to Katara, who usually put them in the bottom drawer of her bedroom chest and left them there to rot, who was spending this time searching the crowd for one familiar face. She didn't know a single person here, yet somehow everyone in this crowd knew Aang.

_Then …_

_It was at that moment that she well and truly hated him with every fiber of her being. _

'_Murderer!' _

'_Zuko, she doesn't mean it.' _

_Katara wheeled around to face her brother, and slapped him in the face. 'Yes, I do.'_

_Now …_

Katara was always expected to say a few words to the crowd, and today was no different. She stepped forward.

'Aang would loved to have known that there were so many people who cared about him,' she said, forcing her force to remain steady, 'and I have no doubt in my heart that he's watching over us all right now. Thank-you.' She stepped back next to Zuko.

There was thunderous applause, and Katara felt herself sway. He squeezed her hand, and their eyes met. For a brief second, Katara saw something like concern in those golden eyes, but then it was gone, replaced with the reserved look that Zuko kept for public occasions – emotionless and completely in control of his feelings. The respectable Fire Lord he was supposed to be.

*

That night, Katara went to see Zuko in his office. The guards let her in straight away, they knew who she was.

Zuko looked up from where he was seated at his desk, bent over piles of scrolls.

'Oh, am I interrupting something?'

He smiled, but it was strained. 'No, no, I'm glad of an excuse to stop pouring over these.'

Katara took the seat opposite the desk, taking a glance at the scrolls Zuko had been reading. 'Grain prices, sounds thrilling.'

Zuko laugh dryly. 'Everything but.' He put the scrolls to the side of his desk. 'I'm sure it would be fun to talk about grain all day and night, but I have a feeling that wasn't what you wanted to talk to me about.'

Katara nodded, at the same time taking a deep breath. 'It's about what you said the other day – about me going back to the South Pole. I've made up my mind.'

'Oh.'

'I've decided that, as much as I'd love to go home and see my family, the Fire Nation is where I'm needed most right now.'

Zuko's expression was impossible to read. 'Katara, don't let your sense of obligation keep you here if you want to leave. Things are fine here and you need a break.'

Katara rolled her eyes. 'Zuko, everybody needs a break right now – you included.'

Zuko started rubbing his temples. 'If it's any help, I'm pretty sure that Toph's having a lot of fun chasing up the rest of the Dai Li.'

'But,' Katara continued, ignoring Zuko, 'they don't get a holiday. Neither should I. There's stuff that needs to be done around here and I want to help.'

'No.'

'What?'

Zuko sighed. 'I think I know where this is going and –'

Katara groaned. 'This isn't about leaving the Fire Nation for some top-secret undercover mission! This is about, I don't know, helping out with all the paperwork or something like that.'

The corner of Zuko's mouth twitched. 'You honestly want to spend your time helping me read about grain prices?'

Katara shrugged. 'It's better than sitting around all day wishing he –' her voice broke, throat closing up.

Zuko's eyes widened. 'Oh. Now I understand.'

Katara nodded once, her eyes filled with tears. Then she pushed back her chair and left the office.

_It's better than sitting around all day wishing he hadn't been fast enough. Even now, a part of me wishing that it was you instead of him. _


	3. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

It turned out that Katara's first day of 'work' did not start with reading about grain prices. It started with a fallen scroll shelf.

One of the guards had knocked it over, but nobody knew – even the guard himself – exactly how. All of the scrolls had fallen to the ground, and the back of the shelf had been completely torn away, pinning a second guard under it. The man was fine, apart from several rather deep cuts, which Katara promptly healed.

_Before …_

_Despite the fact that she had known the mission would be dangerous, and that Aang had promised her that he would stay safe, Katara went to see Aang before he left. _

'_It's me,' she said, entering the room without knocking. _

_Aang had been staring out of the window, Momo curled around his shoulders. 'Oh, hey,' he said, a smile on his face as he turned around to see her. _

_Katara smiled. 'So … I kind of came to visit you to say goodbye.'_

_The corner of Aang's mouth twitched. 'But everyone's saying goodbye later.' _

_She kissed him on the lips, and then they embraced. _

'_I'll come back,' said Aang. 'I promise.' _

_Now …_

For several nights after the Great Scroll Shelf Fiasco, Katara had slept peacefully. But this night her dreams were haunted by horrifying images … Aang dead in Zuko's arms … Aang shrieking in pain as the lightning bolt hit him square in the chest … Aang's eyes, glassy and lifeless …

Once upon a time, when Katara was five years old and her mother was still alive, she had woken up screaming from a nightmare – only to find herself safe and sound in bed, her mother's arms wrapped around her.

But this time, nine years later, when Katara woke up the nightmare hadn't gone away.

***

Two weeks after Katara had started helping Zuko with his paperwork, Toph decided to visit.

'Hey Sweetness, hey Sparky,' she said, strolling casually through the office door, earthbending the guards trying to restrain her through the window.

Katara heard Appa roar in the distance.

'What – what are you doing here?' Zuko could not hold back his surprise, quickly jumping to his feet.

Toph didn't have time to reply, several fully-armored firebenders had run into the office. Already, they had each pulled their fists back, prepared to firebend.

'Wait – stop!'

Zuko was too late.

There was a sudden rush of immense heat as eighteen blasts of fire all charged at Toph. The girl cried out in pain as a good fifteen of them made contact with her body, the other three hitting the walls, the floor, setting the room alight.

Katara's reaction was delayed, the blinding light and intensity of the flame's heat slowing her down. Yet somehow she made it to Toph, her knees smacking into the ground, cradling the girl in her lap, at the same time bending water out of her waterskins, pressing a water-gloved hand to Toph's chest, spreading the silvery water over her body.

She was concentrating too hard to pay attention to what was going on around here, only Zuko's enraged shouts at the guards. Several times the room grew overbearingly hot from his flames and she felt as if she were on fire, but eventually it would always cool down.

Minutes passed – the Toph's burns began to heal. The guards left the room. Toph stirred, coughed, and slowly stood up.

'Jerkbenders …' she muttered weakly, at the same time spreading one palm and punching it with her fist, 'when I see them again …'

Katara laughed shakily, trying to convince herself that perhaps things weren't so bad. Toph begun brushing herself down, although Katara could see that her hands were shaking.

Then she realized her legs had stopped working.

'Zuko…?'

He looked down at her, but didn't say anything.

Katara grimaced. 'I don't think I can stand up. My legs are all numb.'

'Oh. Okay.' He knelt down beside her, scooping her legs up under his arms.

'Zuko, what are you – Oh!' Katara cried out in surprise as Zuko carried her, bridal-style, out of the office and into the hallway.

Then she looked down and saw that the midnight blue cloth of the pants she wore under her dress was now stained a deep black – from blood. Maybe it had been the flames, maybe not. She didn't know, and probably never would.

All of a sudden Katara felt very light headed.

'My legs feel wet.'

Then everything went black.

*

_Before …_

_Zuko had been tying some bags to Appa's saddle when she went to see him. _

'_Zuko, we need to talk.' _

'_Right now?' Zuko had never been a whiner, yet there was no denying the slightly irritated undertone to his voice. _

'_Yes – right now.' Katara stood by Appa's side, arms crossed, waiting._

_The Fire Lord jumped out of the saddle and ran down Appa's tail. They faced each other. _

'_What is it?'_

_Katara blinked back tears, determined to stay firm. _

'_You're not the only one who fought Azula, Zuko. I was there. I know how powerful she is, and I know that you and Aang lied to everyone to give them some peace of mind.' _

'_Katara –'_

'_No, stop. Aang told me that he's going to be fine, and no matter how much I want to believe him, I need you to promise me something.' _

'_What?' Zuko's voice was skeptical._

'_Bring Aang back to us – to me – in one piece. Do whatever it takes.' _

_She could tell that Zuko understood. _

'_I promise.'_

***

Katara woke up in her bedroom. The first thing she was aware of was that she was only in her underwear, secondly, that her legs were bandaged from her ankles to mid-thigh.

_What had happened?_

For about half a minute Katara tried to remember what had happened. Why was she in bed?

Then she remembered.

Toph's unexpected arrival, the guards burning her. Healing Toph – and, somewhere along the line, getting burnt herself. Passing out while Zuko carried her out of the office.

Oh spirits – what if she hadn't done a good enough job? What if Toph had collapsed? What if Toph was –?

_Don't think about it._

Blearily, Katara looked around her room. Everything looked the same, nothing had been moved around. Zuko was sitting at the foot of her bed. She blinked several times, and her vision focused.

'…Zuko?'

His head shot up.

'Katara!'

The sound of his voice made her head throb. Katara groaned.

'What's wrong?'

'The whole noise thing isn't so good right now.' Katara's voice was dry and rasping.

Zuko dropped his voice to a whisper. 'You've been unconscious for five days.'

_Wow. What happened to me?_

'Is Toph okay?' croaked Katara.

Zuko nodded. 'She's fine.'

'You don't have to whisper now,' said Katara. To her relief, her head had stopped throbbing every time Zuko spoke.

'Okay,' said Zuko, his voice going back to normal volume. 'What else do you want to know?'

'My legs.'

'Oh.' Zuko looked down, refusing to meet her gaze. 'I burned them.'

There was silence. A part of Katara desperately didn't want to believe that it was true – but it had to be. Sparky had burned her while she was healing Toph; he'd lost control of the flames.

She had trusted Zuko and had been burned.

_After …_

_Of course she had to attend Azula's funeral, even though Zuko and Sokka had both repeatedly told her that she didn't have to go if she didn't want to._

_She was wearing the green dress that she had kissed Aang in, her hair fastened back in traditional water-tribe style. As Azula's body was being cremated, she had to step back from the intensity of the heat._

'_Rot in the spirit world,' murmured Katara under her breath, reaching up to feel her mother's necklace, 'rot in the spirit world for the rest of your life.' _


	4. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

There were several benefits that came with being a waterbender who could heal. For instance, one day you could have severe burns all up your legs and unable to move, the next day looking like absolutely nothing had happened and moving around as normal.

As Zuko had said, Toph was fine – Katara had healed all of her burns just in time. After she had healed her burnt legs, the first person Katara had gone to see was the young earthbender in the room she had been given to stay in.

'Sweetness!' cried Toph, running across the room and throwing her arms around Katara's waist and squeezing hard.

'Hi … Toph …' wheezed Katara, gasping for air.

'It's so good to see you again!' Toph squeezed harder and Katara's life began flashing before her eyes. The South Pole – finding the iceberg.

'I was so worried about you and – oops, sorry.' Toph must have sensed Katara's failing heartbeat and quickly let go. Katara doubled over, gulping down air. _Where did she get such a grip?_

'It's good to see you too,' she choked out. Toph looked sheepishly at the ground.

'Yeah …' Toph rubbed the back of her neck, 'Sorry about everything. The guards didn't recognize me.'

'Don't worry about it,' said Katara firmly. There was no need for Toph to feel guilty about what had happened. 'They were stupid not to.'

Toph smiled weakly. 'I suppose it was the clothes that did it, huh?'

Katara looked down. Toph was wearing Fire Nation clothes, complete with a red headband, instead of her usual green ones. She shrugged. 'Maybe that was it. Anyway, how's Appa?'

Toph smiled. 'He's seems okay, considering…' She trailed off.

Katara bit down on her lip. _Considering that his master is dead. _'Well, I'm sure he'll get better with time.'

Toph shrugged. 'We're all praying for him.'

And all of a sudden Katara's gut instinct told her that they weren't talking about Appa any more.

*

What had happened to their agreement? Was she still supposed to help Zuko with the paperwork? Did he want her to? Things were going to be awkward, regardless of whether she decided to see him or not.

Katara had never knocked on the door, but she did now. She took a shaky breath and entered.

They were unmoving, eyes locked, for several seconds. Neither of them knew what to say. The surprise was evident on his face; clearly he hadn't been expecting her. There was more silence.

'I wasn't sure if …' Katara trailed off, gesturing at the office with her hand.

'Oh. I didn't think –' Zuko stopped mid-sentence and stared at his desk.

Somewhere from deep within, a flame was lit inside Katara's heart. 'Yeah,' she said coldly, remembering how the material on her legs had become black, soaked with her own blood, 'you didn't.'

_Then …_

_Sokka reeled back from the slap, his palm covering the side of his face which she had struck. _

_Katara had just hit her brother. But she didn't care. She couldn't even see properly, her vision was completely blurred from the tears pouring down her face. _

_Zuko wasn't crying – he never did. But his face was wrought with pain, eyes hollow with grief. Somehow this mad Katara mad. _

_Oh spirits, he was still holding Aang._

'_Katara, I'm so sorry –'_

'_Sorry won't bring him back, will it?'_

_Now …_

Zuko stood up very quickly. His chair hit the ground, and Katara was reminded of how she had done almost exactly the same thing a few nights ago – only she hadn't been in the office.

There was a faint hissing sound, and she could see that there were fire daggers glowing beneath his wrists. Zuko stepped forward.

'You wouldn't _dare_.' Yet at the same time those words were spoken, she was bending two thick streams of water out of her waterskin, spinning them around her wrists.

'_Why_?' Zuko's voice cracked, and the daggers disappeared in a puff of smoke. Katara's water ribbons splashed onto the ground. 'You know how sorry I am –'

And all of a sudden Katara wasn't in the Fire Nation Palace's office with the Fire Lord, she was back in Ba Sing Se and Zuko had Aang, dead, in his arms. Only this time there was no Sokka to restrain her. She could say what she wanted and nobody would stop her.

'_You promised me you would bring him back_!' Katara's voice was a high scream. 'You promised me!' She gasped, holding back a sob. 'You hurt me before and it hurt so much, and I didn't think you could do it again but you did and this time it's worse!'

And this time Zuko wasn't silent, overwhelmed by his sorrow. This time, he fought back.

'I did everything I could!' His voice was like it used to be, pure rage and frustration. 'I thought it would be me – I didn't know he was that fast!'

'You managed to stop a lightning bolt hitting me!' she shrieked. 'Why couldn't you do the same?'

'You were different!' There was a flash of gold as a red-orange flame of fire barreled across the room. Katara quickly quenched it, bending the water off the floor.

'What was different this time? There was lightning, you were meant to redirect it – you promised me!'

'_I didn't think he would jump in front of it for me!' _Suddenly the rage was gone from Zuko's voice. He sounded almost confused. 'I didn't think …'

And all of a sudden, Katara couldn't fight this battle any more.

'No, you didn't.'

_Before …_

'_Zuko, what is it?' Aang's voice was concerned. _

_Zuko looked up from the letter. His golden eyes were wide, face drained of all colour. Iroh's face was equally grave, almost sorrowful. The old man stood at a distance, head bowed. _

'_Azula.' _

_Katara's heart skipped several beats. She couldn't think clearly – it was pure instinct that made her walk across the room and take Aang's hand in her own, gripping it tightly. _

'_She's back – she broke out of the mental facility.' _

_Aang looked up into Katara's eyes. 'Don't be scared,' he said, squeezing her hand. 'I won't let Azula hurt anybody.' _

_Katara swallowed, forcing her mouth up into a shadow of a smile. 'Of course you won't. You're the Avatar.'_

_Aang grinned. 'That's the spirit.' _

_For a brief second, Katara met Zuko's gaze, and was then terrified beyond belief. _

_Zuko was just as scared for Aang, for everybody, as she was._

**Notes:**

**This chapter was hard to write - I was trying to bring out emotions in Katara and Zuko that I haven't really experienced myself: blinding rage and excruciating pain. I hope I succeeded in doing so.**

**Please review.**


	5. Chapter Five

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

Somehow, everybody seemed to have known what had happened – from Toph right down to the palace guards who stood at the palace entrance every morning. Well, of course some people had to have heard. She had been yelling pretty loud. They both had.

Of course they hadn't spoken since the fight. Katara ate with Toph in her own rooms now, and if by accident she saw Zuko, she would promptly turn on her heel and walk the other way.

_He squeezed your hand. When you were overwhelmed by the crowd he let you know he understood. _

Katara ignored her thoughts.

_He never held what you said against you. You called him a murderer and he forgave you._

Stop.

_You love him as you love Sokka, Toph and Suki._

Katara blinked back tears.

_He's like family._

***

'So, Toph.'

Toph didn't do anything to acknowledge that she was listening to Katara, but she knew that Toph was listening.

'I've been thinking … Maybe I should go back to the South Pole –'

'WHAT?'

Yes, Toph was definitely paying attention now. The girl stood up and spun around, hands on hips.

'You can't go back to the South Pole! I'd never see you – all that ice!' the girl cringed. Katara knew how much Toph hated ice; it made 'seeing' for her incredibly hard.

'Look, I'll come and visit you,' said Katara, 'but I should go and see Sokka and Suki and –'

'No WAY!' Toph stomped the floor with her foot. 'You're staying RIGHT here!'

'You can't tell me what to do!' cried out Katara, all of a sudden forgetting that Aang wasn't dead, they weren't on the run from Azula, and that Appa's shedding fur was their dead giveaway.

There was silence.

'Toph, I'm sorry,' said Katara quietly, biting down on her lip. 'But I can't stay where I am. I have to move on.'

'If you do, you'll be the first,' said Toph softly, tears dripping off her chin. 'Because I know I haven't.'

It took only one pang of maternal sympathy in Katara's heart to make her walk across the room and embrace Toph.

This time she didn't need her gut instinct to tell her what the message between the lines was.

_After …_

_This was the hardest part about saying goodbye – looking Sokka in the eyes and telling him that she would be okay, and watching him lie to her, saying that he believed her._

'_You'll come and visit, right?' called Suki from Appa's saddle. The sky bison roared._

'_Of course I will,' called Katara, trying to sound normal. 'I can't wait to meet my new niece or nephew!'_

_Sokka cried 'nephew' and Suki yelled down 'niece' at exactly the same time. If things had been different, she probably would have laughed. If Toph had been there, she probably would have smirked. And the corner of Zuko's mouth would probably have twitched, suppressing a smile._

_But instead, all Katara could do was wave goodbye to her brother and future sister-in-law, eyes filling with tears, trying her hardest not to break down until she reached the isolation of her rooms._

_Now …_

Katara almost burst into tears when, after hours of searching, she managed to find her heavy blue parka – the one she had worn in the South Pole, the one she had been wearing the day she met Aang. Among the pile of clothes she found there was also her blue dress, the pants she wore with it, and several metal clips she used to hold her 'hair loopies' in place.

Of course Zuko hadn't burned them, even though he had looked her directly in the eye when he said he would. At least he hadn't promised – Katara didn't think her heart could take another broken one.

Biting down on her tongue, Katara carried her clothes out of the storage room, back to her own rooms, where she put them on her bed with the pile of things she wanted to take to the South Pole with her.

Although Katara tried to let the matter go, it bugged her for the rest of the day. Why hadn't Zuko burned the clothes? Why did it matter to him? It would have taken one fireblast and it would have been gone forever, why did he go to all the trouble of putting them in storage?

*

That night, a high-ranking Earth Kingdom general was having dinner – which was political talk for 'not-very-friendly-while-maintaining-a-friendly-look' negotiations – with Zuko, and Katara and Toph were invited to join. Of course, Katara hadn't wanted to go at first, but then she was told that her presence had been 'requested' by the general. And of course once you were requested you had no choice. Toph wasn't officially needed at the dinner, but the earthbender had decided to tag along anyway. Apparently she wanted to try proper Fire Nation cuisine.

It was forty minutes into the dinner and Katara was debating over faking a seizure of some kind just to see what happened. Toph, the traitor, had bailed before the soup course, something about needing to check on Appa. Katara envied her friend.

'With all due respect, Fire Lord,' said an Earth Kingdom admiral, 'these men wouldn't be crippled for life if it wasn't for your family's actions.'

'And I fully agree with you,' said Zuko, 'and I am willing to take responsibility for the men who were severely injured while fighting the Fire Nation. I'm prepared to contribute to the cost of paying these pensions, but I cannot –'

The admiral growled. 'These men cannot support their families because of what the Fire Nation did to them! They fought bravely, willing to sacrifice everything they had in order to –'

'If I remember correctly,' interrupted Zuko calmly, 'the Earth Kingdom's recruitment tactics weren't entirely devoid of foul play. In fact I have several documents in the library with witness testimonials, stating that Earth Kingdom men were forced to join the army after having the _lives_ of various family members threatened.'

For several seconds, there was silence. The admiral was seething, his brown eyes narrowed, fists clenched, jaw locked into a scowl. The silence was broken by the clatter of plates, as another course was served.

'Oh,' said Katara quickly, 'it's rice, my favourite.' The bowl was set down in front of her, and she took a bite. 'Very good,' she said. Then Katara swallowed and her mouth was suddenly on fire.

_Stupid Fire Nation spices …_

The admiral chuckled as Katara grabbed her mug of water and swallowed desperately, and the tension in the room eased.

'Ouch,' said Katara once the flaming sensation had died down. Her tongue felt raw. 'Why didn't you warn me?'

'Poor petal,' crooned the admiral. Katara felt her stomach turn, but forced herself to laugh. After she died she'd beat that sexist up in the Spirit World …

'Speaking of all things beautiful,' continued the admiral, much to Katara's horror, 'that is a lovely dress you have on this evening. Odd, though, that someone from the Water Tribes would wear Fire Nation colours.'

Katara looked down; the dress she was wearing was a simple design, red with a gold sash around her waist. She didn't really care about what she wore these days. She shrugged. 'My old Water Tribe dresses were ruined during battles,' she said, 'and I've been in the Fire Nation ever since –' she paused, her throat closing up, 'and there aren't many blue clothes around here.'

'Oh, yes,' said the admiral, 'I was so sorry to hear of your fiancée's death. I send my condolences. The world will truly miss Avatar Aang.'

Katara tried to speak, but somehow she couldn't find the words. For a second she met Zuko's gaze, not entirely sure of what she was asking him. But somehow, he understood.

'Thank-you for your compassion,' he said, a little stiffly. 'It is always touching to of hear how much the world loved Aang.'

The conversation continued from there, but Katara couldn't listen. She swallowed down her food, managed to speak when it was required of her.

Right now, out there somewhere, there was another Avatar – a little waterbender who had absolutely no idea what he or she had just been born into, what they were expected of.

She had never expected to live to see the Avatar Cycle continue into the Water Tribes.

Katara had known what it was like to love an Avatar with all her heart. And now she knew what it was like to hate one.


	6. Chapter Six

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

Thankfully, Katara wasn't needed anywhere the day after the dinner with the Earth Kingdom admiral. She had decided to finish packing for the South Pole, and Toph was happy enough to sit and talk to her while she did.

After finding her Water Tribe clothes, Katara had put them at the bottom of her 'stuff pile', as Toph had named it. She was surprised to find the girl holding them when she re-entered the room, after an impromptu trip to the kitchens for some cooking pots.

'These are your old clothes, right? I thought you told Sparky to burn these.' Toph's voice sounded hurt.

Katara shrugged, putting the pots down on the floor. 'Yeah, I did. I found them the other day in one of the storage rooms.'

Toph pursed her lips. 'Why didn't he?'

'I don't know,' sighed Katara, a slightly irritated undertone in her voice. 'I wish I knew.'

'Why don't you ask him?'

'What?'

Toph shrugged. 'You said you wanted to know why he didn't burn your stuff – so ask him.'

'Yeah, but … we're not talking right now.'

'Oh phooh,' said Toph, sounding unimpressed. 'If you don't ask him, I will.'

Great – what would everybody think when she had to start getting Toph to fix her problems for her? Katara quickly grabbed her blue parka. 'No, no, it's okay, you're right, I'll ask Zuko. I'll ask him after dinner.'

What had she just agreed to? Hadn't she promised herself that she was going to completely ignore Zuko until she left the Fire Nation? Katara groaned.

Toph smiled. 'Good choice.'

*

There was an undeniable look of surprise on Zuko's face when Katara and Toph joined him for dinner that night. Katara noticed several of the guards on duty snickering, and made herself keep her face blank.

It was another rice-based meal, although thankfully there weren't as many spices in it as last night's.

And although Katara really wanted to, and she knew that Toph was 'watching' her every move, she couldn't ask Zuko why he hadn't burned her Water Tribe clothes.

Because, unlike Toph, she could see that Zuko was completely, utterly totally miserable – and even though she was still furious with him, Katara couldn't bring herself to make Zuko's day worse. From the look on his face it had been awful.

*

'What was THAT all about?' yelled Toph angrily, slamming Katara's bedroom door shut.

'Toph, he was really upset about something,' said Katara, trying to explain, 'and it wasn't the right time.'

'Of course he was upset – I'm not stupid!' said Toph, her voice returning to a normal volume. 'He was really upset – his heartbeat was all over the place.'

'I wonder what it was,' mused Katara as she walked over to her bed, preparing to change – one of the benefits of having a blind friend was that you never had to be modest in front of them.

'Wait,' said Toph quickly, suddenly sounding excited, 'maybe there's a way for us to find out!'

Katara stopped, putting down her nightgown. 'What do you mean?'

Toph grinned. 'Sparky's got some all-night meeting thing tonight, right?'

'Yes,' said Katara, 'he's having a conference of sorts with several high-ranking Fire Nation officers. He was also speaking with them today.'

'Katara, you're a genius!' cried out Toph. 'Zuko was fine at dinner last night – sorry for bailing but I didn't realize just how boring that guy could be – so whatever made him all weird probably happened today with the same people he's meeting tonight.'

'So we've established the cause of the problem,' said Katara, 'which is nice, but what do we do?'

Toph smiled. 'We spy on them.'

'Yeah, I'm sure if we sneak in with Zuko nobody will notice us,' said Katara sarcastically – there was something about spiced noodles on rice that always made her irritable after consumption.

Toph sighed. 'Really, Sweetness, I don't mean to be rude but you're pretty stupid for someone so smart. You've been here much longer than I have, months more, and you never once noticed the ventilation shafts over the major conference rooms?'

'The what now?'

'Pardon the pun, but in the old days Fire Nation meetings often got a little heated. So ventilation shafts were installed above the rooms to keep them from getting too stuffy. They all open at the very back of the palace, near the gardens, which is probably why you never saw them.' Toph walked back over to the door of Katara's rooms. 'Are you with me?'

'Do I really have a choice?'

'Nope, so hurry up. When does this thing start?'

Katara shrugged. 'Knowing Fire Nation politics they'll be arguing over the flavoring of their tea for half an hour before anything officially starts.'

'Good,' said Toph, 'that gives us plenty of time.'

*

Another handy thing about having a blind earthbender as a friend was that, if you chose to spend your free time with the aforementioned earthbender crawling through a complex tunnel system of ventilation shafts, you didn't waste any time getting stuck at dead ends. It took only twenty or so minutes of crawling on elbows and knees, grazing them in the process, and suppressing claustrophobia for Katara and Toph to arrive at an opening situated just above the conference room that Zuko was meeting in. It was already in process when the girls arrived.

Katara leaned forward, scanning the room for Zuko. She eventually found him seated at a chair at the end of the room, his face completely emotionless – she knew that he reserved this look for when he didn't want people to know what he was thinking.

For several minutes Katara peeped through the criss-crossed metal of the shaft opening, trying to figure out what the conversation was about.

'Fire Lord Zuko, as much as we respect your personal lifestyle choices,' said a young woman, 'you need to understand that marrying a woman from within your own nation is a politically bad choice.'

Even though Toph was blind, Katara still spun around to gape at Toph. 'They're telling him he can't marry Mai!' she hissed. _Did they understand __anything__ about love?_

'Shut up!' whispered Toph, sounding frustrated. 'I can't hear them!'

Katara, a little surprised by Toph's outburst, stayed quiet and continued listening to the meeting. Zuko must have said something in the time she had spoken to Toph, as another man was speaking now.

'You must understand, Fire Lord Zuko, if you marry a woman from within the Fire Nation, it will isolate us from the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes. The Fire Nation has been seen as the enemy for so long in the eyes of the world, separated from the other nations. We must act now in establishing political bonds with the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes and –'

Katara stopped listening, instead searching out Zuko's face again, trying to see his reaction. Of course, his face was still smooth and emotionless. How did he do that? Where had the old Zuko – rage and frustration – gone? Why did this Zuko feel the need to shut himself out from the rest of the world?

The answer hit Katara like a fireball to the stomach.

_Because he's grieving for Aang just like you are, but in his own way._

Katara couldn't think. Her thoughts were all tangled together, with no beginning and no end, heart hammering away in her chest. She was so right – it made perfect sense.

Toph seemed to sense something was wrong, her head jerked in Katara's direction.

'Sweetness, you okay?' she whispered.

Katara swallowed, her throat suddenly very dry. 'Yeah, I'm fine,' she said, peering down into the room again.

'Here,' said a man with a black beard and a topknot, 'we have a list of suitable women from the Earth Kingdoms. Since this no official dominant monarchy in the Earth Kingdom, instead several strains of them, only women from politically high-ranking families have been listed.'

A man sitting at a table loudly cleared his throat. 'And the Water Tribes?'

For several seconds there was complete silence in the conference room.

_Of course – Yue. _

Even from the ventilation shaft, Katara saw the first man swallow nervously.

'As we all know, Princess Yue was killed last winter during the siege of the Northern Water Tribe.'

Katara gritted her teeth. _She didn't die, she sacrificed herself._

'– While Princess Katara …' The man trailed off.

'_You're a princess?' _hissed Toph between her teeth, clearly dismayed. 'Why didn't you ever tell us?'

Katara turned away from her friend, even though she knew Toph wouldn't be able to see her face.

'Back home it never mattered,' she said softly. 'Royalty doesn't guarantee you safety from dying of starvation or Fire Nation raids.'

'Yeah,' agreed Toph, 'it doesn't really guarantee you anything, does it?'

**Notes: **

**- Please review! :)**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

Several days passed. Katara stayed in the Fire Nation, much to her own inward annoyance. She could be in the South Pole by now. But she wanted to find out why Zuko hadn't burned her old Water Tribe clothes, and she just couldn't ask him now. The whole palace was waiting for the news that he had broken up with Mai.

That morning, Katara slept late. She didn't know what had made her so tired, but she did know that, when she woke up, golden afternoon light was pouring through her open window.

Feeling groggy, Katara stumbled across the room, changing into a red dress, everything a blur. As she went about tidying herself up, her vision began to clear and she managed to regain control of her limbs. By the time Katara had walked downstairs and outside, into the gardens, she felt almost normal again.

Toph was with Appa, seated on the giant sky bison's side.

'Hey Sweetness. What kept you in bed for so long?'

Katara shrugged, walking over to join her friend. She stroked Appa on the nose. 'I don't know – I shouldn't even have been tired since I went to bed early.'

Toph made a 'mmm' sound in agreement. 'Maybe you're coming down with something.'

'Who knows?' As Katara spoke, Toph stood up suddenly and walked over to her.

'Sparky broke up with his girlfriend yesterday,' she said under her breath.

'Oh. That's … oh. Why are you telling me this –?'

'Katara.'

She spun around, even though she knew who it was. Toph must have felt Zuko's arrival before Katara had even known the Fire Lord was there.

'Oh. Zuko?' Although she hadn't intended so, her greeting came out as a question.

'I … ah … have some news.'

Katara glanced at Toph, who shrugged.

'For both of you – you might want to sit down.'

Without a word, the threesome walked away from Appa, across the gardens, until they arrived at a small pond where a flock of turtleducks swam. In an oddly childlike action, Zuko sat down on the soft grass– and Toph and Katara did the same.

Then Zuko stood up. 'Stay here,' he said, 'I'll be back in a minute.' He left the gardens.

Katara waited until Zuko had entered the palace before she spoke. 'Do you have any idea what all of this is about?'

Slowly, Toph shook her head. 'No. But his heartbeat says it isn't good.'

*

Zuko returned a good twenty minutes later, carrying an armful of scrolls.

'Sorry I took so long,' he apologized, sitting down again, 'several court members attacked me in the halls and wouldn't let me go.' Neither Katara nor Toph laughed because they both knew he was dead serious.

'Anyway,' Zuko cleared his throat, 'I just want you to know that what I'm about to tell you isn't remotely good – it's terrible.' Katara felt the blood drain out of her face. Zuko continued.

'As you probably know, the libraries in Ba Sing Se host the world's most accurate documentation of the lives of the Avatars, their scrolls beginning with accounts of the seventh Avatar, unnamed, an earthbender. History cannot take us beyond this point.

'Avatar Lura was the eighteenth Avatar, and the accounts and descriptions of her lifetime are documented in scrolls across the nations. She was a waterbending master, developing many of the waterbending forms seen today.' Zuko paused. 'But she was also a prophetess of sorts, sometimes spending months meditating in order for the spirits to grant her, and I quote, 'dark visions of the future', which she would record on scrolls.' After saying this, Zuko took one of the scrolls he had placed beside him and opened it, handing it to Katara.

'Please read this aloud.'

Katara took the scroll, quickly scanning the first few lines before she started to read.

'_Today I, Avatar Lura of the Southern Water Tribe, entered the Spirit World for the fourth time through meditation. The spirits did not wish to grant me access, but the recent unrest throughout the lands has caused me to seek out their guidance. It took a great toll on my energy, but, after a great deal of concentration, I reached the Spirit World._

'_Upon arrival, the spirits, although displeased that I had broken their barrier, granted me visions. There, in the Spirit World, I entered a trance and –'_

'Sorry,' interrupted Zuko, 'but I forgot something before – going into a trance in the Spirit World is potentially fatal, if you spend too much time in one your physical body, your heart, stops working and you die.'

'Okay,' said Katara, and then continued.

'– _saw a great many things, terrible things. I saw three people, two clothed in blue, and one in gold. Only one of this three was a woman, yet only just so. The boy clothed in gold was marked with blue on his forehead –_

Katara stopped, suddenly realizing. _It couldn't be …_

'Oh spirits,' gasped Toph. 'It's – it's you guys!'

Katara bit back a sob, yet somehow it managed to escape her lips. Zuko took the scroll from Katara, now picking up a new one.

'_My visionings have grown darker,' _he read, _'of the marked boy and his friends – that is all the spirits show me. This morning I entered a trance as I walked; this was very sudden and unexpected. The elders have told me that no such thing has ever before happened. _

'_The boy, who is now a man, fought with his friend, the scarred one. The spirits did not show me the location of the battle, darkness was their background. They fought a girl whose name sounds like 'blue' –'_

'Azula – azure.' Katara placed her head in her hands, her body wracked by silent sobs, because she knew what was going to happen next.

'_The blue girl and the men fought a mighty battle, yet her powers were great and she held them back. Somehow the two marked men made their way forward. They were going to win.' _

Toph started to cry.

'_But then a bolt of pure energy coursed through the darkness, aimed for the man marked with blue. The scarred one pushed him aside, intending to take the lightning for him. Then my vision was overcome with hot, white energy, yet when the vision resumed the scarred one was still standing, his marked friend no more.'_

Oh spirits. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't handle this.

'Katara …'

She didn't look up. Her face felt like it was on fire.

'I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to do this.'

She looked up. His face was so smooth and blank – but those golden eyes were bottomless wells of grief and sorrow. He picked up the third scroll.

'Avatar Lura also conducted great research into the Avatar State, and, more importantly, the Avatar Cycle. You need to hear this:

'_I have come to the conclusion that, after years of research, for a brief moment in history there are two Avatars and none at exactly the same time. As an Avatar begins to die, I believe that a small portion of his or her Avatar spirit leaves and searches out the newborn destined to handle its power. Once it has found such a subject, the previous Avatar takes his or her dying breaths and the ability to manipulate the elements, enter the Spirit World, and be the bridge between life and death is completely passed on to the newborn, as one leaves the world and the other enters it. And thus the Avatar Cycle continues.' _

Zuko put the scroll away. 'I know that might have seemed pointless, but,' he took a deep breath, and then his words came out in a rush, 'I think the Avatar Cycle ended with Aang.'

'_What?' _

'Aang,' Zuko grimaced, 'was shot by a bolt of lightning, directly into the heart. He died instantly.'

_No – no. I beg of you; do not take me back there. Please …_

'If what Avatar Lura says is true, that as the Avatar dies he passes his abilities onto the next Avatar, then it would have been impossible for the Avatar Cycle to repeat. Aang didn't know he was going to die in the battle. He was there, and suddenly he was gone. No final moments; no last seconds. And I sent messengers out to the North Pole, South Pole, and the Foggy Swamp.' Zuko lowered his gaze. 'There were no children born the day Aang died.'

Katara was too overcome with emotion to even cry. It couldn't be possible …

'What I'm saying is,' Zuko took a deep breath; 'I think that Aang was the last Avatar. I think the cycle broke, I think it didn't have enough time to continue.'

Zuko was the man who never cried – yet his cheeks were stained with tear tracks. Toph had stopped weeping, now still and unmoving, eyes wide.

'Do Sokka and Suki know?' whispered Toph.

'I … I wanted to tell you first,' said Zuko, looking at Katara. 'I thought it would affect you more.'

Katara opened her mouth, about to speak, but then there was a spasm of excruciating pain in her stomach and she screamed, doubling over.

The pain intensified, engulfing her, swallowing her up. She coughed up blood.

Then Zuko was next to her, holding back her hair, bracing her shoulders.

'What's wrong with her?'

'I don't know, she slept really late this morning, that was all, but she said she felt okay!'

Her stomach cramped up, and all of a sudden everything was spinning – Katara felt dangerously light-headed.

'What about food? Has she eaten anything?'

White-hot pain seared throughout her body, causing her to cry out again. Zuko was still there.

'I – I don't know.'

'Zuko …' her voice was barely a whisper, weak and inaudible. But he heard her. She was having trouble breathing in enough air.

'Katara, stay with me!'

Pain ripped through her; tearing her up from the inside.

The last thing Katara was aware of was movement. Then there was one last explosion of agony all through her body, and everything went black.

**Author's Notes:**

**- 'Avatar Lura' is based off my real-life friend, Laura. They both do amazing stuff :)**

**- Yes, Avatar Lura's theories about the Avatar State do have a few plot holes in them - but I figure that no Avatar before Aang was killed instantly. Or, at least that's how it is in My World *cackles***


	8. Chapter Eight

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

**Notes: Due to not-so-subtle-requests by reviewers, I'm going to start trying to make my chapters longer. Wish me luck xD**

She was aware that things were going on around her, but she couldn't see anything. There wasn't enough energy in her body left to enable her to open her eyes. For several days she drifted between dreams, unconsciousness, and reality. It was hard to separate the three, usually she couldn't tell.

_*_

_She was standing on the edge of the ice, looking out towards the ocean, deep blue, mysterious like an unanswered question. The sun was hanging lazily in the sky, such a pale shade of yellow it was almost white._

'_Mom?' _

_Kya of the Southern Water Tribe was standing beside her, a blue-mittened hand on her daughter's shoulder. She looked up. Her mother's face was just as she remembered it – or at least as she thought she did – very beautiful, but this Kya, Dream Kya, was also very sad._

'_I always knew this day would come.' She sighed. 'But you were so young …' _

_Katara blinked, thinking. This wasn't like her other dreams where Aang was before her in Fire Nation clothes, saying things that didn't make sense. This almost seemed real. _

'_What happened?' _

_Kya sighed. 'I am afraid that you have departed from the mortal world into the next – to be blunt, Katara, I think you might have died.' _

'_What?' Katara gasped. 'No – no, I can't be dead! What about Toph and Zuko? And Sokka and Suki? They all need me! I still need them!' Her words were coming out fast, all jumbled and confused. _

_When she looked up into Dream Kya's face, oddly enough, she saw that it was smiling. 'Well then,' said Kya, looking pleased, 'it seems you've made up your mind.' _

'_What do you –?' _

_The South Pole was gone and then there was darkness. _

*

Something cool was being pressed to her forehead.

'Ugh …' she stirred.

'Sweetness?'

It was Toph … stupid nickname …

Katara drifted away … back to sleep …

*

The next few days passed in a confused blur, slowly becoming clearer as Katara rejoined the land of the living. On the third day, she recognized her surroundings as her own chambers. On the fifth day she saw Toph; by the sixth she was having steady conversations with the girl.

The seventh day passed, and she still hadn't seen Zuko.

On the eighth day Katara decided to ask Toph where the Fire Lord was.

'Huh? Oh, he hasn't been here since you – got sick. Did you know that Iroh's here?'

Katara knew that what had occurred by the turtleduck pond hadn't been mere illness. What had happened that day?

*

Several days later – by now Katara had given up trying to keep track of the time – Zuko came to visit her.

It was a warm day, but Katara could see that a storm was imminent. For starters, there was a steady, cool, breeze blowing through her bedroom window and purple-black thunderclouds were resting lazily in the sky.

Toph had been dozing on a wooden chair that she had pulled up by Katara's bed for some time now, but instantly woke as Zuko entered the room.

'Sparky!' she cried, staggering across the room – slightly drowsy – and throwing her arms around the Fire Lord's waist.

In Katara's eyes the sight was almost comical, the small, green-clad figure juxtaposed against the tall man clothed in red. One the Blind Bandit, champion of the Earth Rumble fights, earthbending master, always solving her problems with her fists, the other the Fire Lord – so changed from his old self, now reserved and blank. Yet Katara had seen Zuko fight before, as his enemy and by his side, and knew there was power burning inside of him.

Remembering how Toph's hug had almost squeezed the life out of her, Katara almost felt sorry for the guy, but she was still slightly groggy and her emotions were raw. Perhaps her supposed concern for Zuko was actually hunger. When _was_ the last time she had eaten …?

Somehow, Zuko had managed to detach Toph from his waist, and had walked across the room to stand by Katara's bed.

'How are you feeling?' he asked. Toph went back to her old seat and sat down, looking slightly sheepish.

Katara tried to shrug, limply raising and lowering one shoulder. 'Fine … I guess …' There were nursing staff in her rooms – _had_ been nursing staff, since the day she had woken up – and they had taken care of her every need ever since. Not only did they provide the basics for her – food and water – they also did the little things: opening a window to let the breeze in, changing the position of her pillow so it didn't deflate. Katara had grown to like the five women assigned to her care to a certain degree, and their assistance was always helpful.

'Are you sure?'

She nodded.

'You really had us worried there,' said Toph, 'we thought you were gone for good.' She sniffed.

'So did you ever find out what was wrong?' asked Katara, quickly changing the subject. She pulled herself up into a seated position.

Something flashed in Zuko's eyes – she couldn't discern what – and he made a motion with his hand. The five women instantly left the room, and Zuko and Toph's faces both turned grave.

Zuko took a deep breath. 'The official story is that you collapsed from stress and fatigue, and you're been assigned to bed rest by the palace physician.'

Katara bit down on her lip, unsure of what to say. Finally, she decided to speak up, regardless of what came out of her mouth. 'But you know and Toph knows and I know that I didn't collapse from being tired or whatever you said. Stress doesn't rip through you like fire,' she paused, briefly taking herself back to those agonizing moments by the pond, doubled over, crying from the pain, 'and it doesn't make you scream because it hurts.' She looked up, uncertain.

To her surprise, Zuko's face was suddenly wrought with pain – was that fear in there, as well? Katara couldn't tell. Perhaps he wasn't here, in her rooms, perhaps he too was by the pond right now.

'After Uncle arrived,' Zuko began, 'we talked. I came up with thousands of possibilities and explanations as to why you collapsed by the pond, but only one of them drew a logical conclusion.' He took a deep, shaky inward breath. 'I think you were poisoned.'

You could have heard a turtleduck rustle its feathers. Even Toph didn't dare to open her mouth.

'It would have been so easy …' Zuko was talking more to himself than anybody in the room, 'to slip something in while in the kitchens …' He sighed again, and stared at the ground for a moment, before lifting his gaze to meet Katara's.

'I'm so sorry for all of this,' he said, voice breaking.

This wasn't right – this wasn't the Zuko she knew. Had what happened to her really affected him this deeply?

Katara felt a stab of pain, purely emotional, when she saw what Zuko was going through. She prepared to speak – something about the weather – but Toph beat her to it.

'So why'd this jerk poison Sweetness?'

Always to the point.

'That's the problem,' said Zuko, 'this attack on Katara was clearly planned with deliberation, we – Uncle and I that is – think it meant something, perhaps an act of rebellion.'

'But what if it was me who was poisoned?' asked Toph. 'Would it have been an 'act of rebellion' too?'

'That's the thing: it wasn't you – it was Katara, the Avatar's fiancée. With Aang gone, and this is purely my opinion, I'd say that she's become almost a symbol to the people for Aang and everything he stood for: the end of the war. I mean, the rest of us were there and all of that,' he shot an apologetic glance at Toph, 'but Katara was closest to him.'

'So you're saying,' began Toph, 'that whoever did this didn't want the war to end?'

'Yes. But this sort of thing wouldn't have been accomplished by an individual; I think it might have been the act of a group of people. Of course, in order to get the poison into your food they would've had an insider placed in the palace, the staff are being interrogated as we speak, and Uncle has arranged for several White Lotus members from the Earth Kingdom to have a look around there, but so far nothing. '

Katara didn't say anything. Instead, she closed her eyes and let her head fall back onto her soft pillow, thinking.

_Oh, Aang. I miss you so much. I think about you every single day. Would you still be with me if I had gone to fight Azula with you and Zuko? _

_We're all so lost without you, and now it looks as if there'll never be another Avatar – just because you died too quickly._

She was too sad to cry, if that was possible.

'– pond?'

_What? _Katara wondered if she had fallen asleep.

'It was horrible.' Zuko's voice was unmistakable, even though her eyes were closed. 'She was shaking all over and moaning, and then all of a sudden she was cold.' There was a pause.

'Still trying to figure out which one was worse?'

There was a good ten seconds of silence. Katara wondered if Zuko had left the room. But then there was that single, solitary word that confirmed that Zuko was still there.

'Yes.'

***

The day after the meeting with Zuko, Katara was told by the palace physician that it would be okay for her to start walking again. Although her progress was slow, it was steady, and in less than a week she was walking around her rooms with ease. Nobody was more delighted by her recovery than Toph, who visited her every day with news of what was happening, from the interrogations with the staff – still nothing to report – to how she had finally managed to beat Iroh at Pai Sho, much to Katara's amusement.

But Zuko didn't come back.

***

It was a cool night, with rain falling on the roof. The steady drumming was a soothing sound to Katara, enough to make her want to fall asleep. Toph was looking sleepy, too, but had made no effort to leave Katara's side.

'How long is it until Suki has her baby again?' asked Toph with a small yawn.

'I don't know. I think around now. We could both be aunts for all we know.'

'They're both really young. I mean, your dad doesn't feel old enough to be a grandfather – his heartbeat is so steady! I thought that grandparents were old.'

Katara laughed, remembering the look on her father's face when Sokka and Suki had first announced their news. Of course they were both ridiculously young, but at least they had Dad and Gran Gran to help them out. And Suki was responsible enough to make up for Sokka's lack of maturity.

'I'm sure they'll be great parents,' said Katara, voicing her thoughts. 'Although Sokka –'

Toph chuckled. 'I'm still having trouble linking Antsy Pants and the word 'dad' together. It just doesn't seem right. When we last spoke it was like talking to another kid … not a future father.'

'I don't know,' mused Katara aloud, 'he seemed pretty nervous about the whole thing – but we all know how much he loves Suki. Hopefully he's done some growing up in the past few months.' Her last statement only made Toph laugh louder.

'Let's just hope he's not in charge of naming it,' she wheezed out between laughter. 'Imagine this: 'Hi sis, meet your new nephew: Foo-Foo Cuddlypoops, named for that moose-lion cub that I didn't get to eat!''

Katara just laughed harder. 'I wish Zuko had been around to hear that one,' she said, smiling – it felt incredibly good.

'He was going to come,' said Toph quickly, 'but there was another one of those boring meetings to go to, that Earth Kingdom admiral came back.'

'Ouch. Poor Zuko.'

'Yup,' said Toph, 'poor, poor Zuko – literally. Some Fire Nation guys exploded a factory in Ba Sing Se and heaps of people were hurt and Admiral Nasou wants heaps more gold for those pension thingies he keeps talking about.'

_The Fire Nation doesn't have that money. _But Katara couldn't say that aloud. So instead she changed the subject.

'Hey Toph,' she said lightly, 'did you ever find out why Zuko didn't burn my old Water Tribe stuff?'

Toph shrugged. 'Nope – I thought you were going to ask him. But I did come up with an idea.'

'And?'

Toph's face quickly turned red, and Katara felt her stomach shift. 'I think Sparky cares about you – but not _that_ way,' she added quickly. 'Let me explain: he was best buddies with Aang for so long, and then Aang died all of a sudden. And like Sparky said before, you were always closest to Aang. Then you randomly ask him to burn your Water Tribe clothes, and – I know you probably already know this – he could tell how sad you were, and that you were hurting really bad. And maybe he thought that you would regret it later, so he put them in storage in case you ever wanted them again. So,' Toph took a deep breath, 'I think that Sparky was trying to do something nice for Aang by being nice to you.'

Katara wasn't really sure what to say – maybe Toph was on the right path, or maybe not. She tried to remember what had happened … their exact conversation …

_After …_

'_Are you sure?' _

_She nodded, not saying anything. This was what she wanted. _

_Those clothes, the blue dress and matching parka, were the ones she had worn the year she had traveled with Aang. She had floundered, waist-deep in water, into a bay on Kyoshi Island to rescue Aang from a giant man-eating fish while wearing this parka. She had fought Master Pakku for her right to learn waterbending in these clothes, while Aang cheered her on from the sidelines. She had held his limp, lighting-struck body under the crystal catacombs in this dress. She had agreed to marry him, standing by a pillar in the Southern Air Temple, in these clothes. _

_Katara couldn't look at this stuff; it was like a slap in the face. Every time she tried to talk herself – mentally, of course – into putting on her dress again, another memory of Aang popped up, each one more painfully bitter, yet sweet at the same time, than the last one. _

_Aang wasn't here. He wasn't coming back. Maybe he was in the Spirit World, that was supposedly where everyone went after their deaths, but Katara hoped that it would be many years before she went there. _

_Or maybe she didn't._

'_Fine.' Zuko took the pile of clothes out of her arms. He didn't say anything else. _

_She watched Zuko walk down the hallway, feeling too empty to move. Aang wasn't coming back. Aang wasn't coming back. _

_Then he stopped walking and turned around, mouth slightly open, about to speak. For a second their eyes met. Then Zuko's mouth closed resolutely, and he continued walking away._

_They both knew that some things were better left unsaid._


	9. Chapter Nine

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story. **

Funnily enough, the day after Katara and Toph had been talking about the potential arrival of their new niece or nephew, a hurriedly written letter from Sokka had confirmed that what they had been talking about had indeed happened.

The letter had been addressed to Katara, but she had waited for Toph to come in for her daily visit until she actually read it.

'_Dear Katara,' _she read, _'last night Suki had her baby – it's a girl! She's got your blue eyes – don't ask me how that's possible – and Suki's red hair, I think she's beautiful but then again I'm very biased._

'_I have a feeling that Toph will be listening to you reading this, so tell her that I'll pay up next time you two visit, which will hopefully be soon since Suki wants you guys, Zuko too, to come down and visit Saika. Yeah, Suki got to choose the name, she was named for Suki's mom, but you'll hear the full story later._

'_Anyways, Suki and Saika are both fine, but a little tired. Write back as soon as you can, tell us when you can visit. Any time is good. Love, Sokka, Suki, Dad, Gran Gran, Grampakku, and Saika.' _

Katara looked up, pleased to see that Toph was smiling.

'Well, well, well,' she said. 'Isn't this a coincidence?'

'What do you mean?'

'You said you wanted to go to the South Pole. Now you have your chance. Do you think Sparky will want to come?'

'Probably,' said Katara, 'but I don't know if the Fire Nation court allows time off to go niece-visiting.'

Toph flattened one palm, and punched it several times. 'They will when I'm done with them,' she said confidently.

For a second Katara almost felt sorry for the poor suckers.

*

'A girl?'

'Yes,' said Katara, 'she's been named Saika. The letter would have taken several days to reach the Fire Nation, so I'm guessing she'd be about a week old now.'

'Everyone at the South Pole must be excited,' remarked Zuko. 'It's been a while since there was a child born there, right?'

'Only in our tribe,' said Katara, 'but that's enough cause for celebration. Anyway,' she said, getting to the point, 'in his letter, Sokka asked if us three – you, Toph and I – would come down to the South Pole to visit everyone. I think he wants us to come soon,' she added.

'Okay. How does leaving a week from today sound to you?'

'What?' Katara wasn't sure if she had heard Zuko right. Maybe the poison had done something to her hearing.

Zuko looked up innocently. 'Do you need more time to pack?'

_I don't know. Maybe I will, seeing as you didn't burn my old clothes. _But of course Katara didn't say that.

'Sorry,' she said, 'I just didn't think that the court members would let you leave so suddenly. Are you sure you're allowed to do this?'

'Probably,' said Zuko. 'I don't think anybody would have a problem if I leave Uncle in charge.'

'Do you think he won't mind not coming? You know how much Iroh loves children …'

Zuko smiled, and for some reason Katara was reminded of a weasel-fox. 'He doesn't mind. I already asked him.'

'Wait – but – how?'

Zuko pulled out a scroll that was covered in familiar messy handwriting, and after the second's thought it took Katara to realize Sokka had written two letters, she grinned.

'So a week from today then?'

'As long as the physician says you're all right to travel, then I don't see any reason why we can't go.'

'Oh please,' said Katara over her shoulder as she left Zuko's office, 'you sound like my father.'

'At least you're lucky enough to have one who cares.'

She froze. _Good one, Katara. _

'And by the way, Admiral Nasou is here again.'

'I know. Toph told me.' _Is he mad? Did I hurt him? _She turned around so that she was facing Zuko. He _looked _all right …

'This time he brought several officers of his with him. Did Toph tell you about the factory explosion?'

'Yes.'

'Well he's brought all the paperwork involved and there's going to be a meeting tomorrow in the conference rooms. Admiral Nasou said he wanted you to be there, but since there was the poisoning attempt I could probably get you out of it.'

Katara bit down on her lip, thinking. 'I think I should go,' she said at last, 'at the very least I'll be good moral support. Maybe I'll even be able to help,' she suggested hopefully.

'Be warned that this sort of stuff will go on for hours.' Zuko sighed, his shoulders slumped. 'Did Toph also tell you that Admiral Nasou is asking for thirty-thousand pieces of gold?'

An old thought resurfaced from the depths of her memory. _The Fire Nation doesn't have that money. _

Katara grimaced. 'I'm sure that Iroh will come up with something.' Looking at Zuko, she could tell that he didn't really believe her – neither did she.

'The meeting starts at sunset in the western conference room. Tell Toph that she's welcome to come if she wants to, but I advise against it.' Something that resembled a smile crossed Zuko's face.

'I will,' promised Katara, leaving the room for the final time.

*

Of course, despite Zuko's warning, Toph insisted that she would go to the meeting with Admiral Nasou, regardless of how boring it would be.

The girls only had about five minutes until they had to leave for the meeting. Toph was sitting on Katara's bed, cross-legged, deep in thought. Katara was sitting on a chair, looking down at her dress. It was a simple red one, normal Fire Nation style – which was exactly what was bothering her.

'Toph,' she asked, 'do you think I wear too much red these days?' Only after the words came out of her mouth did she realize what a stupid question she had asked. Of course Toph wouldn't know, she was blind for spirits sake!

'Sweetness? Clothes and all of that stuff look the same to me when I pick them up. If you want fashion advices go ask Zuko.' The girl's tone was joking – Katara was relieved. She hadn't offended her friend. It had never occurred to her that this sort of thing happened to Sokka all the time.

'Sorry,' she sighed, 'it just hit me. I've been wearing Fire Nation clothes for ages now. Maybe that's why Zuko didn't burn my Water Tribe ones.'

Toph groaned loudly and pointedly. 'This whole Water Tribe clothes not being burned thing is so old! Can't you just go and ask him already?'

Katara said nothing, her chest all of a sudden feeling very tight. Of course Toph didn't really understand, as much as she tried. 'Come on,' she said softly, 'it's time we left.'

*

Admiral Nasou was just as Katara had remembered from his last visit to the Fire Nation. As Zuko had said, the man had brought several other Earth Kingdom men with him, as well as a good armful of paperwork.

_Thirty-thousand pieces of gold …_

They both sat at a table with Zuko and Iroh. On the directly opposite side of them on the huge table sat Admiral Nasou and his men, their tan and green uniforms standing out against the rich red-brown tones of the conference room.

And although there were a number of other Fire Nation officials in the room, Admiral Nasou continued staring at Zuko with his brown eyes narrowed, face brutally cold, fists clenched. Katara glanced at her side to where Zuko sat. Her eyes widened with surprise when she saw that the Fire Lord's hands were shaking ever so slightly. Whether it was from fury or fear, Katara didn't know.

_Is it just me, or are things a little tense around here?_

Without really thinking, she stretched her arm across and put on hand on top of his to halt the trembling. Their eyes met and she gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile, before withdrawing her hand, resting it patiently in her lap. Katara looked up, seeing that the last Fire Nation officers had entered the room and taken their seats. She took a deep breath to steady herself, noticing that Zuko was doing the same, hands still shaking.

Admiral Nasou and Zuko both rose from their chairs at exactly the same time. There was absolute silence in the room.

'Fire Lord Zuko,' said the admiral, first to speak, mockery brimming on the edge of his voice, 'yesterday we spoke of the money the Fire Nation owed to the Earth Kingdom. Today my men have arrived with the necessary paperwork for you to sign. Do you have the required witness?'

Katara knew that, according to Fire Nation rule, if Zuko was to sign a document as important as this one – _thirty thousand pieces of gold – _he would have to have a trusted relative or close friend at his side and sign the document as well. Basically, it was the witness's job to say that Zuko was sane at the time of signing the paperwork, and fully aware of what he was doing.

'I do,' said Zuko, glancing briefly at his uncle, 'my witness will be my uncle, Iroh, Dragon of the West.'

Admiral Nasou nodded once, his lips pressed into a thin, stubborn, line. 'Here are the papers.' He made a gesture with one hand, and the green-clad man seated at his side stood up and took them over to Zuko's side of the table. 'All you have to do is –'

'Pardon my interruption, Admiral Nasou, but I am afraid to tell you that my nephew has given me next to no information on this little project of yours. Would you mind taking a few minutes to explain this to a forgetful old man?'

Katara twisted her neck around to look at Iroh so fast that she thought she might have pulled a muscle. The man's face was completely serious, not a trace of dishonesty in his gold eyes. But everybody – or at least Zuko, Toph, and herself – knew that Iroh was lying through the back of his teeth.

But Admiral Nasou didn't know that. The man sighed loudly, and turned to look at the man seated next to him. 'Lieutenant Ryuu, would you care to explain?'

The man nodded. 'Three years ago,' he began in a clear, steady voice, 'the Fire Nation laid siege to an Earth Kingdom town: Sho Lei. In doing so they exploded an arms construction factory, which, at the time, was holding several large units of oil which was being used to power the Earth Kingdom's machinery. The factory, as long as many houses in the same vicinity, was completely destroyed in a massive explosion, killing and maiming hundreds of people.' Lieutenant Ryuu stared across the table with cool green eyes. 'There are many families in Sho Lei who have lost loved ones, and now have no reliable source of income. The Earth Kingdom wants to compensate for these people's losses, but we feel that it is the responsibility of the Fire Nation to do so.'

Again, the same thoughts flashed through Katara's head. _Thirty-thousand pieces of gold. Money the Fire Nation doesn't have. _She looked at Iroh, who appeared to be deep in thought.

_Come on, Katara, think! There has to be something … there has to be an answer …_

'May I see the numbers of the injured?'

The paperwork was shifted across the table. Iroh made little pretense of reading them, she knew that he already knew the numbers. The man's forehead was creased into a deep frown, his eyes narrowed.

Admiral Nasou loudly cleared his throat. 'If you wouldn't mind, General Iroh.'

Iroh smiled benignly. 'Of course, Admiral Nasou. Please forgive me.' The old man stood up with the scrolls in his hands, and walked across the room to personally give the scrolls back to the admiral.

Only then did Katara realize that Iroh had done this only so he could shoot Zuko that last glance. From where he stood behind Admiral Nasou's back, it would have been impossible for the man to see the urgent message that Iroh was sending his nephew.

_I am so sorry, nephew. There is nothing I can do._

Suddenly, something was gripping Katara's hand. She looked down – of course it was Zuko. His face was only a façade, his eyes were burning and his jaw was set – Zuko looked every bit the determined Fire Lord. But then there was what Admiral Nasou could not see, his hand firmly clutching Katara's for support. And he was still shaking.

'The Fire Nation is willing to meet your demands. We will send the money as soon as we can.' His voice was devoid of all emotion – only Katara, and perhaps Iroh too, knew what he was really feeling. She squeezed his hand.

Katara looked up. The only possible word that came to mind to describe the look upon the admiral's tanned face was 'smug'. She noticed that Zuko's other hand, the one that wasn't firmly holding hers, was now clenched – the shaking had now subsided.

Admiral Nasou smiled once, thin and meaningless, before he stood up, nodding in respect to Iroh.

'Thank you,' he said once, his voice cold, brown eyes gleaming with malicious pleasure.

Now Katara truly hated the man. _The Fire Nation wants to help the world rebuild – can't you see that? _She wanted to stand up at him and shout, because this wasn't really about the Fire Nation's 'responsibility', it was about long-ago prejudices that Admiral Nasou and the Earth Kingdom had refused to forgo.

_You were like them once. You wanted to make Zuko pay. _

She was halted mid-thought when the small voice entered her head. Although she wanted to deny it, there was truth in those words. She had wanted to make Zuko pay for her mother's death. She had wanted to watch him go through her own excruciating pain.

_You wanted it to be him instead of Aang. _

All of the signs were there: her throat had become tight and sore, everything had gone blurry as she tried to hold back the tears. But Katara wasn't going to let herself cry.

_No. I've changed._

Admiral Nasou or Zuko must have said something that had concluded their meeting, as the conference room had begun to empty. A minute passed, and the only people left in the room were Zuko, Iroh, Toph, and herself. The unspoken question hung in the air.

_Where are they going to get the money from?_

Then Zuko stood up as if to leave, but on an impulse, Katara pulled him down into his seat. He still hadn't let go of her hand.

'No,' she said firmly, 'we're going to work this out together. You don't get to run away this time.' She glanced at Toph, who was nodding her head in agreement. Iroh seemed pleased.

It was impossible to tell what Zuko was thinking, and, bar those fleetingly rare moments of sudden insight, it always had been. Then he swallowed, and nodded.

'Fine.' He looked at her momentarily, and even though it lasted only a second, their gazes locked together. 'What do you have in mind?'

'Well …' Katara took a deep breath. 'It's a bit radical, but … I was thinking … how about you melt down some stuff? I mean, the palace is really nice and everything, but all of those gold statues and decorations you put everywhere aren't really needed. So I thought you could melt them down. That would help, right?'

'You're completely mad. You know that, right?'

And although Zuko's words where somewhat unkind, Katara wasn't offended – because Zuko was smiling and he still hadn't let go of her hand.

***

The next week passed quickly. In between helping Zuko with the whole melting-down process, seeing the physician for check-ups, and spending time with Toph and Appa, Katara found that she had very little time to herself. Before she knew it the packing had been finished and at tomorrow's sunrise they would be leaving for the South Pole.

Katara had decided to wear the Water Tribe clothes that Zuko hadn't burned. What Toph had said earlier now made sense – this had been going on for far too long. She might as well just force an answer out of Zuko, whatever it was, so this could just end once and for all.

It felt odd wearing her dress again, especially with the long sleeves underneath it – it was always warm in the Fire Nation since it was so close to the equator, so having long sleeves on dresses was pointless.

For a few minutes Katara debated over what to do with her hair. These days she usually just pulled it into a bun at the base of her neck or, for meetings and ceremonies, wore it in traditional Fire Nation style. But it would look odd if she had Fire Nation hair and Water Tribe robes. Eventually Katara decided that, if she was going to cause a scene, she might as well wear hair loopies since she had never been one to do things in halves.

It felt unusual to be braiding her hair again, leaving out the two front sections to be pinned back later. At first the hair loopies seemed almost annoying, hanging there in front of her eyes. Katara had to remind herself that she had worn her hair like this every day for years on end – yet all of a sudden it felt uncomfortable and strange. Had she really lost sight of Katara of the Water Tribes? Had she become Katara of the Fire Nation?

She firmly shook her head, her hair loopies swinging from side to side, gently batting her cheeks. No matter where she lived or what colour clothes she wore, Katara knew she would always be Water Tribe at heart.

***

Even though it was early in the morning, it was too warm to be wearing her parka, so Katara held it in her arms. She was standing at Appa's side – Toph next to her – waiting for Zuko and Iroh to arrive.

'I thought that firebenders rose with the sun,' grumbled Toph, scuffing the ground with one food. Appa growled. 'And it's hot enough outside, so where are they?'

Katara didn't say anything, keeping her eyes gazing steadily at the horizon – at the door that Zuko would be walking out of, hopefully, in a few minute's time.

'Oh, he's coming.'

She swallowed. There was no turning back now.

The second Zuko saw her, his stride broke and he stood still, completely rigid. Iroh must have sensed a problem, as he stopped by his nephew's side, gently placing a hand on Zuko's arm, a concerned look on his face. However, it was shaken off, and Zuko continued walking. It was now absolutely impossible for Katara to tell what he was thinking.

He stopped a few steps away from Katara, and for several seconds they simply stood and stared.

'I asked you to burn these. You said you would.'

Zuko's gaze locked into her own, and a part of her just couldn't pull away. Maybe she was too weak to leave, maybe she was strong enough not to. Katara sensed Toph moving at her side, about to speak to Zuko, but she put a hand on the girl's hand and pulled her back to her own side, all the while never leaving Zuko's gaze.

'I'm sorry.' His words were short and simple. 'I tried but I just couldn't do it.' He raised and lowered one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug.

Then Toph elbowed her in the side, and Katara understood that this was the only answer she was going to get from Zuko – for now.

Katara took a deep breath. 'Okay,' she said. Then, over her shoulder to Toph: 'let's go.'

There was the goodbye to Iroh – she was surprised when the old man briefly embraced her, and then she climbed up onto Appa's saddle – Toph in the driver's seat – and with one 'yip-yip' from their driver Appa soared into the sky and then the Fire Nation disappeared as the three soared into the sky, the Fire Nation behind her for good.

**UPDATE:**

**No, in case you're wondering, I haven't abandoned Now and Then. Life has just been ridiculously busy lately, but another chapter is in the works and will hopefully be up soon. Sorry for making you all wait.**


	10. Chapter Ten

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

**Notes: So sorry this took forever to put up - life just got busy -_-**

*

'Toph, are you sure you know where you're going? You know I'd be happy to take the reins for you, if you want.'

'We have to go south to reach the South Pole, right?'

Katara sighed. 'Right. But –'

'And I've _told_ you Appa's been trained to follow my voice commands, right?'

'Right. But –'

'And five seconds ago when you almost fell out of the saddle to see if we were going in the right direction, you could tell that we were flying south, right?'

'…Right.'

Out of the corner of her eye, Katara could see that Zuko was trying to suppress laughter – his golden eyes were so bright they looked as if there had been a fire lit within them, the corners of his mouth were turned upwards. A part of her wanted to wipe that smile right off of Zuko's face, but life had been so stressful lately … she didn't really want to begrudge him this moment of pleasure.

Sighing – Toph had _said_ that she knew what she was doing – Katara leaned back against the side of Appa's saddle and tried to relax.

_From what Sokka said, Saika sounds cute, _she thought, _it sounds a bit like 'Suki'. I can't believe that Sokka's a dad now … I wonder if Saika will be a waterbender … Will Pakku teach her?_

Katara looked up at the sky. It was now mid-afternoon and the sky was completely white, covered with a thick layer of silver-white clouds that seemed in no hurry to move.

It was always hot in the Fire Nation, but now that they were leaving it Katara realized that it was now late autumn – winter would be settling in soon, where would she be living by then? Back home at the South Pole? Or would she have returned to the Fire Nation? Where did she belong now that she didn't have Aang?

Katara shivered – and told herself that it was the cool breeze.

***

'No!'

'Listen, Toph, maybe I was wrong about letting you fly Appa but it's been a very long day and I think that camping on the ground would be best for –'

'And I did a great job flying Appa, right?'

Katara said nothing, shooting a pleading glance at Zuko – who was looking pretty amused. 'You did an awesome job,' she said, trying to sound encouraging, 'but I'd feel more comfortable if we set up camp on the ground. And I'm sure that Zuko would too.'

'Sparky?'

'I don't really mind what we do,' he said. 'Use your judgment. If you think Appa's up to flying for a full night, then I say we do it.'

'Hah!' cried out Toph triumphantly, not seeing the scathing look that Katara sent Zuko's way.

However, Zuko _did_ see the look – and promptly turned away from Katara, suddenly fascinated with the blue ocean surface below them. If he had been like this on a normal day perhaps she would have picked a fight with him, or at the very least sent a well-aimed water-whip in his direction, but Katara had spent the whole day in a sky bison's saddle and she was stiff and sore and tired. Maybe another time …

*

Katara woke up feeling as if she had been drenched in ice-cold water. She was shaking all over, her arms and legs covered in goosebumps. After nights in the ever-warm Fire Nation, Katara had quickly forgotten how hard it was to stay sleeping when you were freezing cold. She should have gone to sleep in her parka – that would have kept her warm through the night. But of course she had forgotten that.

Sighing, she got up onto her hands and knees and crawled to the back of the saddle where the bags were, searching for her coat, all the while trying not to disturb Zuko, who, although he was dressed in light clothes, was having no trouble sleeping despite the low temperature. Maybe it was a firebender thing.

'You okay back there?'

Of course Toph was still awake – despite her well-voiced doubts, Katara knew that Toph would never sleep on the job.

'I'm fine,' she called back as loud as she dared. 'I'm just looking for my parka.'

'Oh. You mean the big warm coat I put on before?'

Katara crawled across the saddle to Appa's head. To her surprise, when she looked down, she saw that Toph was indeed wearing her Water Tribe parka. If she wasn't so cold the sight would have almost been comical: a tiny girl swamped by blue fabric, a black-haired head barely peeping out.

'Sorry …' said Toph. As Katara's eyes adjusted to the light, she could see that the girl was grinning sheepishly. 'I didn't know it was yours, I thought it belonged to Sparky. Do you want me to …?'

Although Katara really did want her coat back, she knew that it probably wasn't that comfortable for Toph up on Appa's head. 'No, you keep it,' she said, trying to sound as if she meant it, 'I'll be fine.'

'Thanks Sweetness!' said Toph happily, her head almost disappearing beneath the hood of Katara's parka.

She then crawled back to where she had been sleeping on the saddle, and stretched out on her side. So she'd just have to sleep without her parka. No big deal – she could handle this.

Katara closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to drift off …

_Spirits, _it was freezing.

How was Zuko managing to stay asleep?

Katara shivered, bringing her knees up to her chin. Her back arched as she curled up into a ball.

It was going to be a long night …

***

'Katara…?'

'…Ugh…' She feebly swatted at the air with her hand.

'Katara, we're here.'

She mumbled something even she didn't understand, and buried her head in her arms.

'Sokka's waiting for you.' By now she could tell that the voice was Zuko's.

'…Go away…'

'Your grandmother and sister-in-law want to see you.'

Katara refused to move.

'Saika's really cute.'

She grunted.

'There's food being served.'

Katara shot up like a spring, literally leapt out of Appa's saddle, and staggered, still drowsy from sleep, across the icy floor that was the South Pole..

Maybe she wasn't that different from Sokka after all.

*

Zuko had been right – Saika was extremely cute. Suki had been waiting right by the tent, holding her daughter in her arms. Hakoda, Gran Gran, and Pakku were also waiting for her. Saika was light-skinned like her mother, which went well with her sunset-coloured hair. However, there was no denying that Saika's eyes were Water Tribe – they were as wide and as blue as the sky, full of unanswered questions.

Katara instantly fell in love with her new niece, and it took no convincing to get her to cradle the newborn in her arms. She noticed, amused, that both Toph and Zuko stayed at their end of the room, both looking a little out of their element – no pun intended.

'Sis, could that be you – hey!' Sokka's greeting was interrupted by a loud thump, courtesy of Toph. 'What was that for?' he wheezed, doubling over.

Suki smiled, amused. Toph shrugged.

'We missed you – plus I can tell you're so not going to pay up.'

'What?' protested Sokka, doing his best to sound offended. 'I was so –!'

Katara tuned out – she knew that Toph was going to win the argument, anyway. A few minutes later her prediction proved right; Sokka was pouting and Toph was happily putting several copper pieces into the pocket of her dress.

'…So,' said Sokka, apparently over his sulk, 'what's life like in the Fire Nation?'

'Hot.' Katara grinned when, after a second or two, Sokka exploded into a very immature fit of laughter.

'Sorry,' he gasped, wiping an eye, 'delayed … reaction … Oh I've gotta remember that one…'

Katara saw Suki roll her eyes. Oh well, at least Saika had one sane parent. She saw her niece lean onto her mother's shoulder, away from Sokka's madness, and decided that the kid already had a good head on her shoulders.

*

'I can't believe you're making me do this.' Katara's words were smothered by laughter.

Sokka was grinning. 'Admit it. You want to.' The penguin at his feet squawked impatiently. 'Hurry up, Pengy's waiting!'

'Pengy?' Katara's voice was incredulous, completely disbelieving. 'You named this penguin 'Pengy'?'

Sokka shuffled the snowy ground with his foot, staring at it intently. 'Well, it was all I could come up with!' he protested. 'And Suki said she liked it!'

'Did she also say that she liked the idea of naming your daughter Foo-Foo Cuddlypoops when you suggested it?' countered Katara.

Sokka pulled a face. 'Do you honestly think that I'm stupid enough to want to name _my daughter_ Foo-Foo Cuddlypoops?'

'Do you really want me to answer that?'

'Just get onto Foo-Foo Flipperfeet, will you?'

'Oh spirits …'

The last words spoken were a 'hey, no fair!' courtesy of Sokka as he watched his sister disappear over the horizon, Foo-Foo Flipperfeet propelled to immeasurable speeds by the thin sheet of ice that he was lying on – Katara bending it forward.

Sokka grumbled. _Since when did Grampakku teach his 'pupils' how to cheat at penguin sledding?_

'… I didn't suggest Foo-Foo Cuddlypoops …'

*

After penguin sledding with Sokka, and thoroughly beating him, Gran Gran had offered to show Katara around. Her hair was greyer than Katara remembered, her back slightly more stooped, her gait slower. However, there was no denying that Gran Gran looked a lot happier than Katara last remembered - the whole 'world peace' thing was probably a contributing factor.

But perhaps the biggest surprise of all was the buildings– instead of the Southern Water Tribe's houses being made of tents, there were now several ice-blue buildings of Northern Water Tribe design. Pakku later explained to her that he and the waterbenders who had journeyed to the South Pole with him had started completely rebuilding the homes of the South Pole's inhabitants. Of course, there were still many tents standing – waterbending huge houses out of the ground took time, and there were the other villages to think about – but this in itself was a great improvement.

Katara and Gran Gran were both standing at the water's edge, looking at the ocean view. The setting eerily reminded Katara of the dream she had after she had been poisoned – only instead of her mother standing with her, it was Gran Gran. She shivered, remembering those awful days, yet told herself that it was because of the cold. She had dreamt she was in the South Pole because she had been thinking about returning there – and her mother had been there because ... she had been sick, only the spirits knew why her mother had appeared in her dream.

'It's a beautiful view,' observed Katara aloud. Today, the ocean was as still and as clear as a sheet of ice – yet there were black thunderclouds looming in the sky, and she could tell that sooner or later a storm would arrive. But for now the ocean looked beautiful, and she wanted to enjoy it.

Gran Gran said nothing, her lips pursed.

'What is it?' asked Katara, concerned. 'Are you feeling all right?' Sokka had mentioned that Gran Gran was beginning to slow down these days – maybe something was wrong.

'I am fine, Katara,' said Gran Gran softly. 'It is you that I am worried about. You are … different.'

Katara felt very cold. 'What – what do you mean?'

Gran Gran shrugged. 'I never expected you to be the girl who left the South Pole three years ago on the back of a flying bison when you returned to me, but the woman standing here isn't the Katara I knew.'

Katara could feel her heart hammering away in her chest. 'I don't understand.'

'I will try to explain it this way, when I see you in my mind's eye; I see you dressed in red clothes. Or green clothes. You're not Katara of the Water Tribe; you're Katara of the Three Nations.'

_Three Nations. No more airbenders. No more airbenders …_

*

Toph was gagging. Zuko was struggling to keep the stuff down his throat, his face drained of all colour. It would have almost been comical for Katara, if not for the fact that she was pretty confused. Stewed sea prunes were delicious – she had loved them ever since she was a kid. Apparently even Suki was having trouble keeping the stuff down, and she lived here, for La's sake!

Sokka, as usual, was stuffing his face.

At least some things never changed.

After living in the Fire Nation, where you ate your meals at tables and sat in chairs, it felt almost strange for her to be eating out of her lap in a tent that was lined with animal pelts. Aang had always been uncomfortable with the animal pelts, probably because –

_Stop_.

- the monks had taught him that all life was sacred.

Katara couldn't believe it.

After months of not allowing herself to speak his name, to think about him, all in a monumental effort to avoid what she saw as the inevitable, inexhaustible hurt that would accompany her every time she thought about Aang, she had done so – only to find out that she wasn't hurting any more. Suddenly, she didn't know how or why, it was okay for her to start thinking about him again. Of course she felt sadness, and probably always would, he had been so young and they had been engaged, but … the pain was gone. The guilt had disappeared; the anger – the burning rage – had gone.

This was amazing. She had been liberated.

_You've stopped loving Aang. _The voice sounded remarkably like Azula's, but somehow Katara managed to shake it off, ignore it. Maybe it was the sea prunes.

She decided to try this out again.

Aang was an airbender.

A memory arose:

_Aang riding around on his air-scooter_. Katara smiled.

Aang had been twelve years old when she had found him.

_The giant iceberg rising above the water's surface – _spirits, that thing had been huge.

Aang had become an airbending master by the time he was twelve. He had been a vegetarian. His people had been massacred by the Fire Nation – but he had been able to forgive Zuko, not kill Ozai, and happily get along with Ty Lee and, to an extent, Mai. Aang had been the most loving, the gentlest, most forgiving person Katara had ever met. He had been completely and utterly amazing. And he'd wanted to marry _her_.

So why wasn't she hurting any more? Aang was dead. He wasn't coming back. There weren't going to be any more Avatars – ever.

Katara glanced across the tent to where Toph was sitting. Had Toph felt this way after Aang had died? How had she coped? She had been away for so long … those years in the Earth Kingdom. In a way, Toph had returned home in her days of grief, while Katara had fled her own. Maybe combat – helping the Council of Five, hunting down the Dai Li – had been what Toph needed to heal. Maybe she was still grieving.

Right now, Katara didn't know where she stood. Now it was okay for her to start thinking about Aang again, and remember him. Was that wrong? Aang was _dead_. The Airbenders were gone _forever_. She should be sadder.

'Katara!'

She was jolted out of her thoughts. It was Sokka.

'Huh? What?' she asked, rubbing her eyes – pretending she was sleepy.

'Oh, nothing,' Sokka said, 'you just looked a little spaced out. You okay?'

Everyone, with the exception of Toph, was looking at her expectantly.

Katara pretended to yawn. 'Oh … nothing,' she said, 'I think I'm just a bit tired, that's all.'

Hakoda smiled. 'That's expected,' he said, 'you can go to bed if you want.'

'No,' Katara surprised a – real – yawn, 'no, I'm fine.'

Suki stood up, handing Saika over to Pakku. Katara noticed with amusement that her step-grandfather didn't protest when the infant was placed in his arms – was that affection in the old man's eyes? Katara decided that she really was tired.

'Come on,' said Suki, 'I'll show you to your tent. You can come, too, Toph – if you want.'

The earthbender stood up, a little too eagerly. 'Sure! Let's go!' Katara could almost see the trail of dust Toph left behind her as she raced out of the tent – even though that was impossible, seeing as they were at the South Pole.

'Are my stewed sea prunes are really that bad?' asked Hakoda to Zuko.

Zuko nodded. 'If it's any help, I think they're an acquired taste.'

Hakoda smiled grimly. 'I should have let Kanna make them – I forgot my own limitations.' He looked up, facing everyone. 'You don't have to eat them if you don't want to.'

'But Dad –' protested Katara – they weren't really that bad, now that she thought about it…

'Oh thank the Moon Spirits!' cried out Sokka in obvious relief, shoving his bowl away from him. Suki, Pakku, and Kanna all followed his example.

'But … you were literally shoveling the stuff down your throat!'

Sokka crossed his arms. 'Well when you get a reputation as a big eater, sister dear, you have to live up to it – sea prunes or no sea prunes!'

'I think you need to get out more.'

Zuko stifled a laugh. Sokka shot him a look that clearly said 'traitor'.

Katara stood up. 'I think I'll go now,' she said, 'I'll leave Sokka to his sea prunes and Foo-Foo Flipperfeet.'

'Hey, you promised!'

'Go take a bite out of the silver sandwich.'

'Hey, _you_ promised!' said Zuko, pretending to sound insulted.

'Foo-Foo Flipperfeet? That's a new one.' Pakku's voice was disbelieving.

'Mmm, I thought it was just Pengy,' agreed Hakoda. 'Suki?'

Suki sighed. 'Whatever you do, don't wake up Saika.'

'Where do you think Toph went?' asked Katara as she and Suki left the tent.

Suki shrugged. 'My money's on as far away from your father's stewed sea prunes as possible.'

*

Maybe it was because she was tired. Maybe it was the sea prunes. Whatever it was, Katara had no trouble getting to sleep that night.

She drifted of …

*

Katara shot up, gasping, eyes dilated, sides heaving. She looked up, her eyes unfocused, only taking in the golden eyes that were right in front of her. There was pressure on her wrists.

'Katara, its okay,' said Zuko, 'you were having a nightmare.'

She instinctively pulled away from his grasp, which, to her relief, Zuko slackened and let go.

'You were screaming,' Zuko looked down.

'Oh.' Katara rubbed her wrists. 'Sorry … Did I wake anybody up?'

'Saika's okay,' he said. 'And the people here seem to be relatively deep sleepers. You weren't screaming for very long.'

'How did you get here so fast?'

'I knew it would be you.' Zuko continued to look down, as if staring at his boots. 'It always was.'

She shivered. 'This one was different.' Katara cast a sideways glance down onto the tent floor. 'I was actually there – but it wasn't _there_. You weren't with us; it was just him and me.' They both knew that she was talking about Aang; there was no need to say it aloud. Katara gulped. 'It was exactly like what happened with you two, only when Azula tried to shoot Aang,' the word tasted bittersweet in her mouth, 'I –,' Katara gasped, 'I didn't do it.' Her vision blurred. 'I – I wasn't fa- fast enough. And then he was just there and-'

Then she broke down. Completely and utterly broke down. At one point Zuko pulled her into an embrace, wrapping his arms around her, she couldn't remember exactly when, and she leaned into his side, resting her head on his shoulder.

'It was just a dream,' he said quietly.

Katara sighed. 'Maybe for me. But not for you.' Zuko stiffened. But he didn't pull away. She twisted her neck up to look at him. 'Do you ever think about it?'

'All the time.' He lowered his gaze. 'Katara?'

'Mmm?'

'Do you think that things would have been better if it had been me instead of Aang?'

'_What?'_ Katara searched Zuko's eyes, desperately trying to see his thoughts. Of course, deep down, she knew what he was asking, but she couldn't bring herself to answer it.

Zuko sighed. He sounded almost … sad.

'He would have done a much better job than I'm doing – you know how much everyone loved him. Aang always had a way of making people understand him; he would have been able to explain to Admiral Nasou.' Zuko paused. 'You'd be happy again.'

'Zuko, I'm –'

His eyes narrowed. 'Katara, you wake up screaming his name in the middle of the night – don't you _dare_ tell me that you're okay!'

'Wait, what?'

Zuko turned away, dropping his arms. 'Just once.'

'Zuko…'

'I should be going.' He abruptly stood up, and left the tent.

Katara sat there for several minutes, unable to move, tears pouring down her cheeks. Even though she was inside a tent, and her sleeping bag was warm, she felt completely numb. Cold. Motionless.

Alone.

**Stuff:**

**First of all, I'm sorry for how long this chapter took to get written. Life has been pretty crazy these past few weeks, and I was having trouble finding time to write, let alone get a decent plot down. Sorry for the length, I just couldn't find a place to split it in half. Hopefully you guys like the length-eey stuff *guilty face***

**I swear this is the LAST time I'm writing a relation-shippy story. Next one will be an all-out epic bloodbath. Complete with flying saucers.**

***grumble***

**To explain, I feel like this is slow-moving. I know that _Now and Then_ is slow-moving, because that's the way it has to be. If you look back into Katara's 'flashbacks' you'll see that she said some really, _really_ horrible things to Zuko. She accused him of 'killing' Aang. Poor Zuzu *petpet* Which means this is going to take even MORE writing and character development.**

**So I need your opinion - is this okay? Do you like this 'relation-shippy' stuff? _N&T_ isn't about an epic battle to save the world, it's about two people who are trying to forgive each other - all the while struggling with feelings that are telling them to do the exact opposite.**

**So what I'm trying to say is ... please review! xD**

**Note:**

**- This fanfic is set roughly two years after the Season Three finale, just to set the record straight. I know that Yue's death was mentioned as occurring as 'last winter' and I'm going to fix that up ASAP. So Katara is sixteen-ish and Zuko is eighteen-ish. Ish is a cool word :)**


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

**Notes: Once again, a ridiculously long chapter. Sorry.**

* * *

Katara decided that mornings in the South Pole were very different from the ones in the Fire Nation.

In the Fire Nation, everybody awoke at the same time – after all, Firebenders rose with the sun. The sound Katara had waked up to every morning was the sound of many footsteps on the Fire Nation Palace's wooden floors, voices talking.

But in the South Pole, things were different. The first noise Katara heard was that of children talking and laughing loudly, snow crunching under footsteps. The sound of the footfalls came closer and heaver, and then –

'Katara!' chorused a multitude of voices as her tent flap swung open.

Katara sat up and looked up, two young, eager faces peering nervously and excitedly into hers.

'See?' said the girl smugly, crossing her arms, 'I told you she was back.'

'Akako.' Katara smiled, recognizing the face – the little girl had grown up so much! Two years had passed since she had last seen her young friend, and the difference was obvious.

Doing some frantic mental math, Katara guessed that Akako looked about eight or nine – she had been roughly six when Katara had left. The girl still wore her hair in plaits that were turned up. Her hair was darker, almost as dark as her own. She was taller; her face had lost its roundness. Katara felt a small pang in her chest when she saw that Akako was wearing some of _her_ old clothes, but quickly brushed those feelings aside. She would deal with them later.

'Hi!' Akako grinned, but quickly turned to look back at one of the boys standing at her side. 'See? I _told_ you my teacher would come eventually!'

'Yeah, but – but,' the boy at Akako's side protested quickly, 'she hasn't said yes yet!'

'Boys,' sighed Akako. She scampered across the tent floor, and crouched down at Katara's side, taking her hand in her own. Her eyes were wide and imploring. 'Katara, will you _please_ be my waterbending teacher?'

'Wait, what?' Katara was lost for words. Akako was a _waterbender?_ 'When did this happen?'

Akako looked pleased. 'Right after you left. Some ro …' she trailed off uncertainly, looking at the boy – Katara assumed that he was Akako's brother – for help.

'Rogues,' he corrected.

'Right. Rogues. Anyway, some rogues from the Fire Nation came here.' Katara gasped in surprise, but Akako quickly hurried on with her story. 'Oh, don't worry, they were nice rogues. They were running away from the army because they didn't like it there, so Gran Gran said that they could stay her for a few days because one of them was really sick. And for dinner that night she made some stew and Koji,' she glanced once at her brother, 'and I had to take it to them. And because it was winter the ground was all icy, and Koji slipped on it and fell. The bowl hit the ground all funny and broke,' Akako grimaced, 'but before the stew fell into the snow and got all soaked up I caught it! I was able to hold it in the air, so Koji ran back to Gran Gran's tent and got another bowl. Later Gran Gran said she wanted to talk to me, and then she told me that I was a waterbender like you.' Akako paused for breath. 'And that's how I found out I could waterbend. I've been practicing ever since. Master Pakku shows me some moves when he isn't busy building houses, but he said it would be better if you taught me because you're from the South Pole too.'

Feeling a little overwhelmed, Katara wasn't entirely sure of what to say. So she wasn't the last – sane – Southern Tribe waterbender after all; she had Akako. And now it looked like she was going to get another waterbending pupil, so soon after her previous one left her.

'Katara?' asked Akako nervously.

Katara tried to smile. 'Of course Akako, I'd love to be your teacher.'

Akako squealed. 'Really? You really, _really_ mean it? Really?'

She laughed, but it felt strained. 'We can tonight if you like.'

Akako's face fell. 'Does it have to be so late? Are you busy today? Mom said not to make you do this if you were busy and-'

'Oh,' Katara almost laughed genuinely this time, 'it's nothing like that. It's just that waterbending is always strongest at night – it's because we get our strength from the moon spirit – and that way it'll be easier for you to waterbend. You'll get the moves quicker.'

Akako squealed louder, and then quickly put her hands over her mouth, eyes wide. Koji sighed and rolled his eyes.

'Yes, yes, that's great,' he said, grabbing Akako's arm and dragging her out of the tent, 'let's go. See you tonight, Katara.'

'Meet you outside Gran Gran's tent!' cried out Akako.

Katara took a deep breath, trying to take everything in. Akako was a waterbender. She had just agreed to be Akako's teacher. Pakku had been teaching Akako – at this thought she genuinely smiled. How come Sokka hadn't told her? Did he even know? Gran Gran clearly had.

She stood up, picking up her parka and sliding it on over her dress, pulling her hair up into a bun as she left the tent.

It was cool outside, not overly cold, but there was an undeniable chill in the morning breeze. At the edge of the village she saw several red-gold flames bursting from nowhere before disappearing into it again. The splash of red against the icy background continued his firebending practice, oblivious to the audience of children that cautiously watched from a distance.

'Wow.' Katara looked down – it was Koji. Akako must have run off somewhere. 'That's amazing,' he breathed. He saw Katara, and turned around. 'Did you really fight Zuko at the North Pole?'

'That was me.'

'How'd you beat him?' Koji's blue eyes were wide and curious.

'I didn't. He sort of firebended me into a tree,' Katara realized she wasn't as good as explaining things as Akako, 'and knocked me out. It was Sokka and Appa who helped me find Aang later – then I sort of smacked Zuko into the ground and knocked him out too.'

'Was Momo there too?'

As if he had heard his name, the lemur seemingly appeared out of nowhere, chittering loudly, and landing on Katara's shoulder. She reached up to stroke Momo's soft coat, feeling a bit guilty for not going to visit him sooner. At least he looked happy.

'Of course,' she said. Momo chattered, sounding pleased. 'He waited at the Spirit Oasis for Aang.'

'Did he really sit on Avatar Aang's shoulder before he fought Ozai? Was he really there?'

'That was Momo,' said Katara, smiling. Remembering.

'Cool.' Koji turned back to look at Zuko's firebending.

There was a loud roar from Appa, and Momo screeched several octaves higher than normal, gliding over to where Appa was standing, before happily sitting down on the sky bison's head. She could tell just from looking that Momo had missed Appa – the lemur was now resting his chin on Appa's head, looking content.

There was a flash of light and a rush of sudden heat. By now more children had gathered at Katara's side, and were watching Zuko. He was very fast and deadly; almost like a snake-rat – and never stopped moving. Every time she thought Zuko had stopped or paused for breath there was another fireblast. There were no holes in his defense.

As she watched, Katara absentmindedly bended a thin stream of water out of the ground, twirling it around her arm, thinning and thickening it as she pleased. Koji noticed.

'So Master Pakku taught you how to waterbend, right?'

'Yes.'

Koji frowned. 'But Gran Gran told Akako that at the North Pole, girls weren't allowed to learn to learn to waterbend to fight.'

'They're not.' A not of pride crept into Katara's voice. 'But I fought him. I lost – but after that Master Pakku agreed to teach me anyway.'

'Okay. You also fought other waterbenders too? Like the bloodbender Hama?'

Katara felt her heart skip several beats. Sure, family stories were nice to pass around the fire, but she hadn't expected Sokka to tell stories about that particular encounter …

Katara tried to keep her voice calm. 'I did. Fortunately I beat my opponent that time.'

'Do you think you'd still be able to beat Zuko?' chimed in a little girl.

'Umm. I don't know. Maybe. It depends.' Katara bit down on her lip. 'I don't think we'd ever really have to now that…' She trailed off.

'Why don't you find out?' asked the girl eagerly.

'Wha-?'

'Fight him!' chorused the group, which was much larger than before.

'Guys,' she said quickly, 'I don't think that Zuko would really want to fight me. I mean, after all, we're sort of on a vacation here…'

*

'I feel ridiculous.' Katara bent her right knee forward, creating a deep stretch in her lower left leg.

'You're not alone.' Zuko's position was similar to her own, only one hand was clenched into the fist, the other spread out, palm facing her.

'How did we get into this?'

Katara shrugged. 'I don't really know. Do you want to start?'

Maybe it was the all-too-familiar setting. Maybe it was pure instinct. Maybe it was the look on Zuko's face as he said 'yes'. Whatever it was, it caused a chill to run straight through her, from the base of the neck to the soles of her feet.

There was a faint hissing sound, and to her surprise, she saw that Zuko had bended two long fire whips. Quickly, without thinking, she pulled two large globes of water out of the ground and spread them up her arms into water-sleeves.

_I thought you'd changed._

They both attacked simultaneously, Zuko's fire-whips hissing when they came into contact with the water. The impact caused Katara to stagger sideways several steps, but she quickly regained her balance – just in time to raise the water-sleeves to deflect Zuko's oncoming attack.

_Smack_. Again there was the hissing.

Several children cheered, but Katara didn't let it distract her. Forgetting the water-sleeves, she bent a thick coil of water out of the snowy ground – an advantage of being at the South Pole – and sent a well-aimed water whip at Zuko. She managed to bend it around his leg and was about to tug when there was a sudden searing sensation in her side and she let go, crying out from the pain.

'Sorry!' called out Zuko, at least having the decency to sound apologetic.

'None taken!' The ground below Zuko's feet shifted – an icy wave appeared below his feet, flinging him across the ground, smacking him into the snow. Katara smiled.

The fight continued for several minutes, and from then on neither of them spoke – there was only the cheering from the children and the occasional grunt from Katara or Zuko when there was effort involved.

Out of the corner of her eye, Katara saw that Akako had joined the group. The young girl was standing at Konji's side, watching the battle intently.

Katara ducked a fire-whip, fisted her hands, and made a pulling motion, as if hauling the air towards her. The ground beneath Zuko's feet froze, abruptly stopping him mid-stride, unbalancing him. There was a soft thud as his palms hit the snowy floor, a crackling as the ice crept up his arms.

'Go Katara!' called out one of the children.

Zuko took a deep breath and too late Katara saw the steam and realized what he was doing – then he was up and in front of her, all of a sudden they were so close she could hear his every breath, she pulled up a water whip and –

Zuko grabbed her wrists. The water splashed onto the ground. Katara tried to pull away, but his grip was vice-like.

'On your knees, water peasant,' he growled playfully, eyes dancing. _Was it possible that Zuko was having … fun?_

There was a loud 'boo' from the children.

'You wish!' She wrenched herself to the side in an attempt to loosen his grip, but Zuko moved with her, twisting her arms around so that they were pinned behind her back.

But Katara wasn't giving up just yet – she kicked upwards, right between Zuko's legs. He groaned and let go – she heard Sokka's laughter, loud above that of the children's, and wondered when he had arrived to watch them. Whirling around, Katara bent a wall of pure snow out of the ground, and with a flick of her wrist sent it crashing down on top Zuko. The audience roared with laughter – Sokka the loudest of them all. Katara glanced across to where her brother was standing, slightly amused when she saw that he was holding his stomach, doubled over. Zuko blinked, and the snow began to melt, steam rising into the air. The only visible part of him was his golden eyes.

There was a pause.

'I feel extremely undignified.' There was muffled laughter, no doubt courtesy of Sokka.

'You look like a snowman!' spluttered Sokka loudly, wheezing with laughter.

Zuko was muttering. 'You soaked me right through. I can't feel my feet. Why does the South Pole have to be so cold?'

Katara's hand flew up to her mouth as she tried to suppress a giggle.

'What?' snapped Zuko – somehow the duel had unofficially ended.

'You really do look like a snowman!'

Zuko groaned, and his palm hit his forehead.

*

'Okay,' said Katara to Akako, 'since you haven't really learnt much waterbending I'm going to start with teaching you the basics.'

Akako nodded. 'Sure. Okay.'

'Firstly, flexibility is very important when it comes to bending. A bender needs to be agile and quick, you need to be able to move before your enemy has attacked –'

'Like with Zuko?'

'Huh?' Katara was caught off guard.

Akako shrugged. 'You were ducking Zuko's fireblasts when you fought him, you were really, really fast. It was like you knew what he was going to do before he did it. You must know him pretty well.'

Katara raised and lowered one shoulder, clearing her throat. 'Right. I suppose so. Anyway,' she continued, 'the point is that you need to be flexible to be a bender, a lot of waterbending poses require deep leg stretches – although waterbenders use their arms and hands for most fighting, we rely on our legs to keep us stable. So I'm going to show you some stretches for you to do every morning which will help with that. Just make sure not to push yourself too hard, or you'll end up hurting yourself.'

She moved into the first pose, a simple leg stretch, Akako quickly copied her movements. The girl grimaced.

'Don't worry,' assured Katara, 'it gets easier.'

Akako leaned further, and groaned.

'Okay, move onto another one.' Exhaling deeply, Katara leaned down and touched her toes. A burning sensation tore through the backs of her legs - _I should have been doing these more regularly_ – but as the seconds ticked by the burning died down.

'You okay?' she grunted. There was a small 'mmm' from Akako that she decided to take as a 'yes'.

Katara stood up, breathing inwards. 'Okay, that's enough stretching for now. Let's try some actual waterbending,' at this Akako's face lit up like a lamp, 'copy my moves.'

Slowly and carefully, making her moves especially deliberate, Katara showed Akako how to bend a small globe of water out of the ground and move it around in the air. Once she was done she stood, carefully watching her pupil. Akako's moves, although they lacked the liquid smoothness necessary for a waterbending master, were actually pretty good – she had potential.

The silence was broken by a sudden splash – Akako had dropped the sphere.

'Oops,' she said, 'sorry.'

'Don't worry,' said Katara, 'you almost had it. Just keep your wrists loose next time, otherwise it becomes really hard to stop it from falling.'

Akako nodded, and proceeded to try the move again. This time Katara decided to offer advice while Akako was bending.

'Okay, you've got it in the air,' she interjected, 'now shift your weight into your other leg, use it as a sort of base when you pull the sphere up – don't leave any weight in your other foot.'

'Hey, can I try a water whip?' asked Akako, already shifting her stances in preparation. 'I saw you doing them earlier – they looked kinda easy.'

'Sure, I guess,' said Katara – it _was_ a good thing that Akako was using her initiative, right?

Katara had been in plenty of ridiculous situations before: she'd been tied to a tree, swallowed bugs while gliding at the Northern Air Temple, buried alive by a half-mad general – although that hadn't been really funny at the time, or even now, come to think of it – stuck in a desert while unable to waterbend, and had lighting shot at her by an insane princess, just to name a few of them.

But it was a first for her when she was water-whipped in the face by a nine year-old.

Katara spluttered a mouthful of water out onto the ground, and Akako began apologizing.

'Sorry!' she cried out, her voice slightly panicked. 'I didn't mean for it to hit you –'

Katara used the back of her hand to wipe the water off of her face.

'- but it was going really well and I thought I had it but then it slipped!'

'Don't worry, I'm fine,' said Katara reassuringly, 'no harm done.' _At least you didn't force some old guy into a waterbending duel and proceed to throw punches at him. _

'Oh. Okay.' Akako blushed.

'If it's any help,' said Katara gently, 'you did really well for your first go, it took me ages to get the water whip right.' She smiled. 'Now all you need to do is work on your aim.'

Akako laughed. 'Yeah … about tha-'

'_Akako_!'

Both master and pupil spun around. Koji was standing a few meters away from them. He looked slightly flushed, almost as if he had been running.

'Mom says it's time for dinner and she wants you inside _now_! As in before I go to the Spirit World!'

'Aww, but I've only been here a few minutes!'

'More like half an hour! Now hurry up, it's gonna get cold!'

'Yeah, but we were talking!' protested Akako. 'Katara was telling me about the time that she stole a waterbending scroll and –'

'_Akako_!'

The girl sighed, and glanced at Katara. 'Can we train again tomorrow?'

'Sure. How about late afternoon? You should start daytime training as well.'

'Okay! See you then!' called out Akako over her shoulder as she ran over to her brother.

Koji grabbed his sister's arm and dragged her back to their tent. Katara watched them walk to their tent together, Akako was clearly telling Koji about her training – Katara could tell from the way she spoke quickly and excitedly – while it was clear that Koji wasn't really paying attention. They were met at the tent door by their mother, who quickly ushered them inside.

_That could have been us._

Katara's throat closed up. _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry … _She was crying. Well, not crying exactly, just … tearing up. There was the sound of footsteps crunching down on the snow.

'Katara?'

_Spirits, why did it always have to be him? _Katara racked her brains for a reason to explain the tears, maybe she was –

There was a hand on her shoulder, and she was jolted out of her thoughts.

'So you really did take on another waterbending student?'

'That was me.' Her voice cracked, and she felt Zuko's grip on her shoulder tighten for just a second, then it relaxed.

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing.' She shrugged, and sighed. 'It's just … this place holds many memories for me. Not all of them are good.'

Zuko walked around so that he was facing her, hand still on her shoulder. He looked concerned.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

Katara shook her head, and, for the second time when Zuko opened his arms, she walked right into his embrace and stayed there.

'I'm being ridiculous,' she said, her voice all choked up, 'I mean, all of the other kids here have moms – I don't see why I had to get upset when I saw Akako and Koji's –'

Zuko's grip tightened. 'It's okay to be upset,' he said, 'it's so much like you and Sokka – only this is,' he paused, 'it's what could have been.'

'What should've been,' whispered Katara.

'I know.' Zuko paused. 'Her name's Akako, right?'

Katara nodded.

'So will she be coming back to the Fire Nation with us, or …' Zuko stopped, his eyes searching hers.

Katara shrugged. 'I –' she wiped her eyes and stepped out of the embrace, 'I didn't really think about that. I just agreed to teach her. Apparently Pakku told her that I should be her teacher because we're both from the South Pole.'

'So will you take her with you?'

Her eyes welled up again – because she already knew the answer. And somehow, Zuko knew too. 'I can't. If Akako goes, she'll be leaving behind her entire family. It was different for me, I had Sokka.'

'You left your grandmother.'

'That was different. The only person who stayed behind was Gran Gran, and she knew why I had to go, she understood. But Akako would have to leave her parents, her brother … I'm not going to do that to her. She's only nine years old. She needs her family.'

'Katara, _please_. Don't.'

Then Katara looked up, and held back a gasp. Zuko's eyes – well, his good one at least – were wide. They were full of something indescribable. His voice had broke on the word 'please' and somehow she knew that he was begging her.

'At least talk to her parents. Maybe Koji could come too-'

'Zuko.' The one word, his name, stopped him mid-sentence – and Zuko's pleas were breaking her heart. 'I'm going to train Akako here. I'm sorry.'

He lowered his gaze. Then: 'How long does it take to train a waterbender?'

Katara tried to keep her words steady, stop the tears from coming. She had to be strong for herself and Zuko. 'I don't know,' she admitted truthfully, 'it takes as long as it takes.'

Zuko's head shot up. 'You don't get it, do you? You don't want Akako to abandon her family so you're staying here but don't you understand that you're abandoning _me_?'

'_Zuko!' _Katara couldn't believe it. _She_ had hurt _him_. The cycle had finally completed.

'What? It's true!'

All of a sudden Zuko wasn't the Fire Lord any more – he was a just another kid like herself and she was _really_ mad at him for being so selfish.

'Fine, you want to hear the truth?' Katara stomped her foot down on the ground – the snow muffling the thud her foot made, and now it didn't sound nearly as satisfactory. 'I can't believe you're being so self-centered! Akako _needs_ a waterbending teacher and –'

'This isn't about you!'

Katara abruptly shut her mouth, eyes narrowed.

Zuko took a shaky inward breath. 'Do you remember what happened last time I left?'

She closed her eyes.

'I will never forget.'

_After …_

_The distinctive scent of smoke still hung thick in the air, wherever she went, no matter which room she sought solace in, Katara could not escape the burning smell of Aang's ashes. Glancing over her shoulder, she could see that Appa was still huddled by the giant fire, his furry chin pressed against the ground. Momo was sitting on the sky bison's head, not making a sound. _

_In her hands she held a knife. Of course bloodbending would have done just as an effective job, but she had vowed never to use it again and Katara had never been one to treat a promise lightly. _

*

'_Bring Aang back to us – to me – in one piece. Do whatever it takes.' _

'_I promise.'_

_*_

_Katara had never thought that a broken promise would be the end of her. Now all that was left was finding a room. Katara walked down the hallway, away from the main courtyard where no doubt everyone still was, and as she did wondered if, one hundred years ago, Aang had walked on these very stone floors. She doubted that his purposes had been as morbid as her own._

'_Katara?'_

_It seemed as if Zuko had appeared out of nowhere, he was standing before her, but more likely than not, she had simply not noticed him approach her. Then he saw the knife. And she could tell that Zuko knew what she was about to do._

_In a flash Zuko had gripped her wrist, the one holding the blade and she let it completely slacken, the knife dropping onto the floor, clattering loudly._

_Zuko said nothing because there was nothing left to say. His gaze burned into her own._

'_What were you thinking?' His voice was hoarse and hollow. 'How could you even __consider__ doing that to us? You have a family that loves you, and friends who care about you!'_

_Katara now refused to look at him. 'Stay out of this,' she said through gritted teeth, 'it's my decision and none of your business.'_

_His grip became tighter. 'It's my business because I care enough to make it my business.'_

_Katara looked up, just in time to see Zuko's face soften – but not in a gentle way. His eyes were wells of pain. _

'_Don't. Please.' His voice was barely a whisper. '__Please__.' He paused. 'Aang wouldn't want this.'_

_Katara felt her blood freeze. 'Don't you da-'_

'_He'd want you to stay alive,' continued Zuko quickly, seeing that what he had said had stopped her, 'he would've wanted you to live a long life.'_

'_Stop it!' hissed Katara. To her horror, everything was blurry. Zuko was right._

'_Katara, please. I'm begging you. Don't go. Stay with us.' _

_She looked up at Zuko, her heart hammering away in her chest, cheeks streaked with tears. _

_Now …_

Zuko's gaze pierced her own.

'Don't promise me anything,' he said quietly, 'because I've had to watch what a broken one does to a person. Just …' he paused, obviously trying to find the right words, '… don't go.'

Katara nodded. She understood what he was trying to say. 'I'll try my best.'

* * *

**Stuff:**

**- I apologize for the slightly morbid ending to this chapter. Hopefully the next one will be happier. And just remember, Katara was extremely upset when she was at the Southern Air Temple. Read carefully and you'll probably figure out that it was right after Aang's cremation. She's not going to try and kill herself any time soon.**

**- She felt the need to justify herself to Zuko. And he never once tried to forcibly stop her. Interesting, mmm? xD (Well this is Zutara after all!)**

**- Once again, sorry to all those people out there who are angry that Katara decided to stay at the South Pole. Don't worry, they'll be together again soon! **


	12. Chapter Twelve

**  
Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon *at least, not until my plans at world dominiation succeed* No profit is made from this story.**

* * *

_Dear Katara,_

_Toph and I arrived back at the palace today. Uncle was pleased to hear that there's another waterbender at the South Pole. He thinks that Akako's going to become the next great waterbender, he's already started bragging – at this rate, the news will have reached Ember Island before the sun goes down._

_You will be pleased to know that Toph flew Appa exceptionally well, and our journey was surprisingly uneventful. How is Akako's training going?_

_Zuko_

_Dear Zuko,_

_Thank-you for the letter. It was good to hear that everyone arrived in the Fire Nation safely. Give Appa a pat and say hi to Iroh and Toph for me._

_Akako is an excellent pupil. She's really eager to train, we now practice waterbending three times a day and do stretching sessions before and after each 'block'. She has potential, but it often takes her a while to get a move. Today she did the water-whip perfectly._

_Katara_

_Dear Katara,_

_Appa liked his pat. Uncle says 'hello' and Toph says 'just teach the kid to float water already!' _

_As you suggested, everything that isn't completely necessary or ancient and rare has been melted down. Toph helps with her metalbending. We still don't have enough money._

_I don't know why I talk so openly in my letters to you. Maybe it's easier this way because I can't see your reaction._

_Zuko_

_Dear Zuko,_

_I'd forgotten what it was like to be truly cold – I blame the Fire Nation, it's always hot there. Three days ago there was a huge storm that came out of nowhere. Gran Gran says she felt it coming. Akako and I were training by the shores together when it struck. It was literally as if the heavens opened up. I was soaked through to the skin in the time it took me to blink. I think Akako has caught a cold, she's gone all pink and_

_Sorry. Pakku walked in on me while I was writing this, and then Dad and Sokka wanted me to go spear-fishing with them. It was a tight fit in the canoe and then things got a bit tense and I sort of pushed Sokka overboard. After that I went to see Akako. She was a bit feverish so I tried healing her, she's improved since. _

_  
I'd make this longer, but Gran Gran wants me to waterbend the stew we're having for dinner so it doesn't go clumpy. I think I almost miss non-clumpy Fire Nation food. _

_Katara_

_PS. Don't worry about how you write your letters. I like them that way._

_Dear Katara,_

_Uncle and Toph have engaged in a full-fledged, day-long Pai Sho war. I don't know if Toph ever told you how she's able to play, so I will. Uncle came up with the idea of carving the emblems into the tiles so that Toph can feel them with her hands. They now play fiercely, the sun is sinking. I have no idea who is winning._

_How is Sokka faring on the ship of fatherhood? You haven't really mentioned him apart from the unfortunate overboard episode._

_Zuko_

_Dear Zuko,_

_Why does it take you so long to reply to my letters?_

_Sokka is fine. And don't call the overboard incident unfortunate. He deserved every bit of it. _

_Everyone's well and Saika's as cute as ever. Tell me who won the Pai Sho battle when you find out._

_Katara_

_Dear Katara,_

_Sorry. Life's just hectic right now. All of the colony families who lived in the Earth Kingdom want money. And did you know that my father sent fourteen year-old boys to war? They were from rural towns, but they were still children nevertheless. _

_Winter must be coming, if you need anything – food, material – all you have to do is ask. Or write. _

_How is Akako's training going? Uncle and Toph want to know when you'll be coming back. So do I._

_Zuko_

_PS. I have no clue who won the Pai Sho tournament. Uncle and Toph aren't speaking to each other._

_Dear Zuko,_

_Apology accepted._

_The other day I was thinking about what you said, oops – wrote, about the families in the Earth Kingdom. It must have been really hard for them, I mean, the Earth Kingdom people would have hated them because they were Fire Nation, and Aang once told me that the students at the Fire Nation school he went to didn't think much of them. It would sort of be like coming home and realizing that it's not the one you left behind – sort of like me finding out about Akako._

_Speaking of which, Akako's training has sort of taken a downturn. It's got nothing to do with her fever or her ability, because she's healthy and learning well, respectively, but it's getting colder here and it's hard to waterbend when your arms are numb. We're slowly but steadily progressing. I don't know when I'll be back._

_Right now the South Pole feels like one big long continuous winter. You don't have to send anything._

_Katara_

_Sweetness,_

_It's Toph here. Well it's actually Zuko writing for me, I'm telling him what to say. Or write. Whatever. Sparky don't put that stuff do_

_Katara, tell Toph that if I'm going to write for her she isn't allowed to earthbe_

_Anyway. Pops and I had a Pai Sho tournament and he won – so that's who it was – but it was only by one point and_

_TELL TOPH TO STOP EARTHBEN_

_When are you coming home?_

_Toph and Sparky_

_Dear Toph and Zuko,_

_Toph: stop earthbending Zuko into the walls, ripping earth up through the expensive Fire Nation floors isn't nice. I don't know when I'll be coming home. I'm thinking maybe around next autumn. Now take the earth cuffs off of Zuko wrists._

_Zuko: Maybe next time get Iroh to write for Toph. _

_Today was the anniversary of my mother's death. Dad went all quiet, Sokka barely said a word, Gran Gran spent her time with Saika, Pakku made stewed sea prunes, and I went as far away from our tribe as possible and smashed some glaciers._

_I forgave you a long time ago, but I still hate Yon Rah. If what Aang said about forgiveness being the first step towards healing was true, then I'm never going to heal. I'm going to have this scar forever, just like you, only mine's on the inside._

_My waterbending was unusually powerful today. _

_Katara_

_Dear Katara,_

_From experience, never rely on anger to fuel your bending. Ever. It sustains you for a while, but then you're left empty and hollow. _

_Zuko_

_Dear Zuko,_

_I thought you'd have a little more trust in me. My bending wasn't 'rage-fuelled'. All I did was go break some glaciers and bend huge waves and smash a couple of icebergs to see what I would find in them. _

_Katara_

_Dear Katara,_

_Of course I trust you. Two years ago I jumped in front of a bolt of lightning. I had to believe that the waterbender who I was with would make it back in time to heal me._

_We still have no leads on who was behind the poisoning attempt. Toph was there during the interrogations, she could tell when whether they were lying or not. And nobody knows. _

_Zuko_

_Dear Zuko,_

_Sometimes I think about what must have gone through your head while you were on the ground._

_I was so worried when I finally reached you. Your injuries were different from Aang's: the lightning complexly passed through him, but had tried to redirect it and there was still some of it in your system. I thought you were going to die. All I could keep thinking was 'You were so mean to him. You were horrible. And now he's going to die.' That's all I remember from the battle, fighting Azula was one big blur._

_Katara_

_Dear Katara,_

_Regarding what went through my head, I was angry at myself for being so weak, not being able to stand up. You had to fight Azula alone, and it was all my fault. _

_The turtleducks have started laying their eggs._

_Next autumn seems very far away._

_Zuko_

***

It was cold. Katara's nose was tingling, her feet were numb, and even though she was wearing mittens she had terrible pins and needs in her hands.

'So … like this?'

There was a swishing sound as Akako bent a thick ribbon of water out of the ocean, pulling it around herself. Then, lifting her arms, eight tentacles simultaneously sprung out of the water. Everything stayed that way for about three seconds, before Akako suddenly gasped and the whole thing collapsed around her.

'How was it?' she asked eagerly, bending the water out of her clothes.

'Good, good,' said Katara, 'you got the 'octopus' part of it perfect. Now all you have to do is keep if from collapsing. When using the octopus from, it's really easy to lose your grip – which is what happened with you. So to keep the tentacles under your control lift your arms up again.'

She demonstrated the octopus form, showing Akako how to keep the water under control.

'Okay. I think I've got it.' Akako pursed her lips together, trying the move again – this time with more success.

She held the octopus for about a minute, and when Katara was sure her pupil was going to be able to hold the pose, sent an ice-dagger straight for her. Elegantly pulling her arms to the side, Akako used one of the water-tentacles to catch it, and sent it right back. Ducking low, the ice-dagger sailed harmlessly over Katara's head and –

'HEY!'

Both master and pupil instantly spun around. Sokka was glaring at them.

'You almost hit me!'

Akako smirked.

'Stay out of our way,' said Katara, 'and it won't happen.'

Sokka sighed. 'It was bad enough when there was only one of you around,' he narrowly ducked a water-whip, courtesy of Akako, 'but now you have someone to throw ice spears with!'

'It's an ice-dagger!' corrected Akako quickly. 'Ice spears are much longer and sharper, plus you have to –'

Sokka groaned loudly. 'Look, I didn't come all this way,' Katara rolled her eyes, 'to listen to you two talk about your magic water. Gran Gran wants to know if Akako's having dinner with us tonight.'

'Akako?'

She shrugged. 'Sure, I mean, if you want me to then –'

Katara smiled. 'I'd love it if you could come.' She glanced up at Sokka. 'Should we ask Koji?' Akako groaned.

'Oh, and by the way, there's another letter for you from your boyfriend.'

'Zuko is _not_ my-'

'Whatever.' Sokka turned his back on Katara and Akako, and made his way back to the tent.

Akako glanced at Katara skeptically. 'Why does Sokka think that Zuko's your boyfriend?'

She sighed – he was too far away for her to water-whip her brother. 'We write letters to each other. That's all.'

There was silence. Katara looked at Akako. She was smiling.

'What?' she snapped.

'Oh, nothing.'

*

_Dear Katara,_

_I feel like I'm in a cage. I can't go anywhere without being followed, I can't say anything without it being over-analyzed and twisted into something else entirely. _

_There's a Fire Festival coming up mid-spring. Toph wants to know if you'd like to come to the Fire Nation for a brief vacation. She's happy to come with Appa and pick you up whenever is best for you. Everyone else – Sokka, Suki, Pakku, Kanna, Akako, Koji – is invited too._

_Zuko_

*

Katara wasn't sure exactly how she should break the news. In the end, she decided that bluntness was probably the best way to go.

'There's a Fire Festival coming up in the Fire Nation,' she announced, 'and Zuko and Toph have sort of invited us,' she said, gesturing at her family, as well as Akako and Koji. 'Zuko said that Toph can pick us up whenever we want.'

'Will there be food?' asked Sokka.

'Uh, I guess so.'

'Sook?' he asked, turning to look at Suki, who was sitting on the ground with Saika in her arms.

Suki shrugged. 'It sounds like fun,' she admitted. 'And it would be nice to see Zuko and Toph again.'

'And there'd be delicious Fire Nation cuisine!' Sokka was literally drooling.

Katara glared at her brother. Suki, Pakku and Akako promptly followed her good example.

'So…' Sokka rubbed the back of his neck, having the decency to look slightly guilty, 'what should we do with Saika?'

Katara felt a stab of concern for her sister-in-law when Suki bit down on her lip, looking visibly worried.

'I'm not sure,' she admitted. Sokka's face – sheepish – instantly changed into one of seriousness and concern. 'It's just so cold up there and Saika's still little. And I'm still,' her cheeks flushed red, 'nursing her and…'

_Zuko could keep her warm. _The thought rose to the surface of Katara's mind, yet she knew that voicing it would be a waste of time – Zuko had made it clear in his letters that escaping palace life was impossible.

She glanced at Sokka. His mouth was pressed into a thin line, and his eyes were narrowed. He already knew what Suki was about to say.

'No.' His voice was firm.

'Sokka…'

This argument was one that was clearly meant for the two of them, but nobody in the tent had made any effort to move. That's how it had always been in the South Pole: everyone knew everyone else's problems. There were no secrets here.

'I'm _not_ leaving you again.'

Then Katara understood. _Of course. The Boiling Rock. Azula's favourite prisoner._

'Sokka, just because I can't go it doesn't mean that you shouldn't.' Suki smiled encouragingly. 'I'll be fine. And I'll bet you'll have fun.'

Sokka's eyes were hollow and empty – and Katara felt her own well up. The last time she had seen eyes like that they had been gold, she had been in Ba Sing Se, and Aang was dead.

'I'm _not_ going.'

'Just think of all the Fire Nation food-'

'It burns my mouth.'

'And there'll be fireworks-'

'Give me a headache.' Sokka pouted and Saika gurgled.

Suki growled. 'Sokka, _you are going to go to that Fire Festival and spirits help you if you don't.' _She paused, realization crossing her features. 'Well, I might not be able to beat you up right now,' she glanced down at Saika, 'but,' her face brightened, 'I'm sure Katara would be happy to do the honors.'

_What did they get up to when I was away?_

'Pfff.' Sokka smirked. 'Katara's too busy writing letters to lover-boy.'

On another day she might have accidentally-on-purpose dumped her stew over his head, but Katara was feeling generous and decided to let it slide.

Sokka's voice became high and shrill. _'Next autumn seems very far away,' _he mimicked.

'_You were reading my mail?'_

A stew-whip hit Sokka in the face. A second one followed – Akako was nothing if not a loyal friend. She seemed to have lost all respect for Sokka since meeting his younger sister, much to his annoyance.

'Hey!' spluttered Sokka. 'I didn't mean to, it slipped and I–'

'You. Read. My. Letters.'

Hakoda decided to intervene. 'Look, Katara, I'm sure that Sokka-'

She took a deep breath, and forced herself to unclench her fists. 'Sokka?' She tried to keep herself steady.

'Mmm?'

'Don't get into any canoes with me. I can do worse than push you overboard.'

*

_Dear Zuko,_

_Thank-you for the invitation to the Fire Festival. Dad, Sokka, Akako, Koji and I will all be coming. Suki can't go because she's busy with Saika, and Gran Gran's feeling a bit off and doesn't want to travel. After I've finished this I'll be having a healing lesson with her._

_Since so many people are coming, why don't you suggest to Toph that she takes two trips on Appa to pick us up? That way he won't have to carry so many people all at once. _

_Today I found out that Sokka read some of the letter you sent to me. I stew-whipped him. Apparently, according to Sokka, we're now a couple just because we write letters to each other. I want to push him out of a canoe._

_Sorry. I'm sort of angry right now. I hope things get better at the Fire Nation for you. _

_Katara_

_*  
_

It couldn't be Toph. But it had to be. But it _couldn't_ be. So much had changed yet her core features – slightly oval face, mint-green eyes – were still the same. But they were different, too. She was taller.

'Wow! Look at how much my favourite earthbender's grown up!' Katara ran across the snow to go and hug her friend.

Toph blushed, and hugged Katara back tightly. 'I missed you,' she muttered, so that nobody else could hear.

'Hello! Are you Master Toph?'

Toph stepped back. 'Is that…?'

'Yes. That's Akako. The one beside her is Koji, her brother.'

'How long does it take to get her to float water?' she grumbled. Somewhere in the distance, Saika started squawling and Suki, who had been standing with Katara, quickly rushed off to see what the problem was. It was never wise to leave Pakku alone with young children.

'Sparky says hi,' said Toph quickly, 'and he's sorry he couldn't come with me.'

'That's okay. We'll be seeing him soon anyway, right?'

'Yeah, I suppose.' Toph paused. 'He misses you, you know.'

'Oh. Okay.' Katara was at a loss for words. 'I mean, sure, I miss him too, but –'

'Katara? Where do I put my sleeping bag?' bellowed Akako from the top of Appa's saddle.

'You don't need one!' she cried out. 'There'll be beds for us to sleep in once we get here.'

'But Sokka said –'

'Since when do you listen to Sokka? He's an idiot!'

'_Hey_! I'm not deaf you know!'

'So,' said Toph abruptly, completely ignoring Sokka, 'who am I taking with me this time?'

'Dad, Sokka, and Akako. Then me and Koji once that trip's done.'

'Okay, so I've got Little Pops, Antsy Pants, and Red.'

'Red? How do you even know what red-'

'She's Red,' said Toph firmly.

Katara decided to accept Akako's nickname as it was. After all, like a lot of things that were going on in her life right now, it could be worse.

*

_Dear Zuko,_

_Toph arrived yesterday, spent the night here, and has now left with Dad, Sokka, and Akako. The latter was really excited about flying on Appa, so ask her for me if she had fun._

_I've looking forward to seeing everyone again. Do you think Iroh will teach me Pai Sho? It sounds like fun._

_Love Katara_

* * *

**I hope you all have a safe and happy Christmas.**

**Please review.**


	13. Interlude: Ashes

**Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.**

* * *

The figure entered the hallway, half-shadowed in the dim light, the only illumination coming from the small lamp he held in his hand, flickering weakly in the darkness. The cowl of the man's hood hid his eyes and forehead, making it nearly impossible to distinguish his features. Yet former Phoenix King Ozai knew who this man was. He had been expecting him.

He stood in his cell. After the years he had spent in prison, deprived of light, he was almost unrecognizable as his former self, skin had become pale and sallow, and across his face it had become thin and taut. His cheekbones were sunken and the meager diet he was first to eat had resulted in his frame becoming thinner, less muscular. But there was no doubting that Ozai was still a powerful, _terrifying_ man.

But somehow, despite everything, he had still maintained a sort of savage beauty. His face was still effortlessly flawless, his eyes still burned golden. His mouth was twisted into a cold, mocking scowl.

The man sunk to his knees, pressing his forehead against the ice-cold stone floor. Something flickered in Ozai's eyes, a new emotion rippled across his countenance, and his lips stretched up into a malicious smile.

'Arise.' His voice was rough and low, a parched, hollow ring to it.

The man lifted his head, but stayed bowing – the ultimate sign of respect. And, quite possibly, fear.

'My lord, we have received word that the plan is progressing steadily. Nothing is suspected.'

Ozai dipped his chin once in acknowledgement, but said nothing. For several minutes, there was pure silence. The man's hands began to shake, ever so slightly.

'Very well.' Ozai's voice was as smooth as a running river. 'So let it be.'

'…My lord?'

'Mmm.'

'Without seeming…' the man paused, his eyes darting nervously from side to side, 'intrusive, my lord, how are you planning from stopping,' he bit down once on his lip, 'the new Fire Lord from instantly attacking you?'

There was a harsh burst of golden light, and the man screamed, his head hitting the floor with a loud smack.

'Go,' he growled.

The man, moaning and whimpering, crawled away.

Ozai's mouth etched into a shadow of a smile, and, walking to the back of his cell and sitting down, resting his back against the cool wall, turned his face skywards. And then he laughed, a harsh sound. And somewhere, somehow, he knew that Azula was laughing too.

Because he was the Phoenix King. And he was going to rise from the ashes.

* * *

**AN: So yeah ... Ozai's back. And firebending. I'm not going to say anything else because I don't want to give anything away :)**

**Q: OMG, Ozai's firebending! Aang took it away, remember?! STOOPID AUFOOR!**

**A: All shall be revealed. Trust me, everything has a reason here at _Now and Then_. **


	14. Chapter Thirteen

'Katara?'

Even with her eyes closed, she was aware of several things: the knowledge that she was moving, it was early morning, and there was a bad knot at the side of her neck – a result of sleeping on her stomach. Her throat felt raw and scratched, and Katara realized that she had been sleeping with her mouth open. She blinked. A young, tanned face with bright blue eyes was peering down at her. For a minute she thought that it was Sokka, but then she remembered that Sokka was seventeen years old and the boy in front of her was Koji.

'What?' she mumbled.

'We're almost there.'

'Oh.' Katara sat up, stretching her arms. 'So what did you think of your first ride on a flying bison?'

Koji shrugged. 'It was cool. But Sokka says that it's more fun when you loop-the-loop.'

'_Sokkasayswhat?'_

'Oh wait, he told me I wasn't meant to say that.'

'_Sokkasayswhat__?!'_

*

Even though Katara wasn't wearing her parka, and had removed the long sleeves from her dress, it was _hot_. She clambered down Appa's tail, legs feeling slightly wobbly. The sky bison had landed in the stable courtyard – several of the ostrich-horse grooms were staring at them with wide eyes.

_Where's – _

'Katara!'

She didn't know how Zuko ended up standing up in front of her, but there was no time to dwell on it, because all that mattered was he was here – a little taller, he had shadows under his eyes – and so was she and nothing had happened to either of them. He looked almost happy.

'Hi.' She couldn't help it. She was smiling.

'It's good to see you. How was the-?'

Katara wasn't listening. She literally flew across the courtyard – who cared if anybody saw her? – and wrapped her arms around Zuko's shoulders, squeezing hard. Too late she saw the court members standing in a small, crimson-robed flock behind their Fire Lord. Several of them were smirking.

'Missed you,' she whispered – and realized just how true her words were.

'You too.' Zuko seemed unable to say anything else.

They stayed that way for about three more seconds, and then Toph loudly cleared her throat, suggesting that they go inside where it was cooler.

'Sorry about them,' said Zuko in a low voice, glancing backwards to the court members, 'Toph must have flown Appa really fast – you were here ahead of schedule. I was in the middle of a meeting and-'

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. 'It doesn't matter.'

Zuko glanced at her quizzically. 'Are you okay? It's almost like you're …' he searched for the right word, 'happy.'

'I'm fine.' She beamed. 'It's just good to be back.'

*

Zuko went back to his meeting, while Toph showed Katara where she'd be sleeping. It wasn't her old one, this room was part of the block where the palace guests slept – hers was right next to Akako's, and conveniently situated only a minute's walk from the palace courtyard, where she could train with her pupil whenever she wanted.

Toph left her so that she could have a few minutes to settle in – but Katara knew it wouldn't be long before her friend would be back. She looked around the room. There was a letter on her pillow.

_Dear Katara,_

_I feel ridiculous writing a letter that's never going to be delivered. Hopefully you'll be here this time tomorrow._

_Zuko_

She smiled, and reached for the letter inside her bag – the one she had written while she had been riding on Appa to the Fire Nation.

_Dear Zuko,_

_I don't know why I'm writing to you. This letter is never going to be delivered; after all, I'm on Appa's back right now. It's amazing to watch Toph fly him, they both work together so well. I bet she'd work better with a badgermole, though. Are there any records in the libraries of earthbenders who rode badgermoles? Would they have to ride in saddles? Sokka rode on one once, he said it was pretty uncomfortable. And how would you steer them? _

_Anyway. _

_Wait. Did firebenders ride dragons? Aang once told me that Roku had a dragon. He said that he rode it in the Spirit World – there was no saddle, he just sat on its neck. But I suppose you can't really get uncomfortable when you're a spirit. _

_Waterbenders are lucky. Our spirit is the moon, and I don't see any extra ones of them floating around for me to travel the world on!_

_Katara_

Although his letter had barely lasted two lines and hers had dragged on into paragraphs, Katara continued smiling because she knew that they had both been trying to say the same thing.

She faltered, unsure of what she was going to discover next.

***

Even though the food was spiced and burnt her throat raw whenever she ate it, Sokka was wolfing it down quicker than Katara could say 'Tui and La'.

'This…' Sokka forcibly swallowed, 'is really good!' He shoveled some more rice down his throat, made a strangled choking sound, and gulped down a mug of water.

'Sokka, that was my –'

He started fanning his throat.

'_Hothothot_!'

Toph sighed. 'And he realizes this after how many plates of the stuff he's eaten?'

'He was always like that at home. One winter it took him six servings of salted polar-lion jerky before he realized it made him violently sick.'

'_Five_,' corrected Sokka in between gulping down water as fast as humanly possible.

Zuko looked faintly amused, but said nothing. There was the sound of footsteps, and Hakoda entered the room. Sokka was still chugging down water.

'Son?'

Surprised, Sokka coughed water up over his lap. 'Oh, hi Dad,' he wheezed, wiping the water off his chin with the back of his hand, 'having a good morning?'

Hakoda said nothing. Toph snorted. The corner of Zuko's mouth twitched and Katara sighed, and then proceeded to bend the water out of Sokka's lap and back into the mug.

'Don't make a habit of that,' she warned.

'Or what?'

The water splashed back down into Sokka's lap. Katara stood up.

'I think I'll be going now. Akako needs training. I'll see you all later.'

'Hey, Katara – wait –!'

*

Katara arrived at the training grounds and when she saw what her apprentice was doing, felt her jaw drop.

Akako was simultaneously fighting two firebenders, they looked roughly her age, both of whom were blasting fire at her from all angles. She wasn't even using the octopus form – which was Katara's preferred option when facing multiple attacks. Instead, the young girl was wheeling two water whips around her, flying high above her head, then bending them low below the firebender's knees and knocking them down.

'Oh, hiKatara!' Akako bent down low, arms spread, sending a firebender flying. The other three advanced.

Suddenly, one of the firebenders doubled over, gasping. His knees smacked against the ground.

This couldn't be happening.

Katara glanced up in time to see Akako make a pulling motion with her arms, and watched in silent terror as the firebender was dragged across the ground.

_Bloodbending_.

She couldn't speak. How had Akako found out?

Akako must have released her grip, as the firebender stood up, smiling, raising his hands in defeat.

'Fine, you win.'

Akako smiled, and ran over to where Katara was standing. 'So what did you think of my bodybending, huh?' she grinned widely, her blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight. 'I came up with it all by myself – it's bending the water in people's bodies.'

Katara took a deep breath. 'Akako,' she said quietly, 'I already know about it. It's called bloodbending.'

In less than a second Akako's face completely transformed. 'You mean I was bending …' the girl looked like, at any given moment, she would be sick.

Somewhere, deep inside her, a flame was lit, and Katara was taken back to the night she had leant bloodbending. As Hama had been dragged away, she remembered the self-horror and fear that had completely consumed her. She had needed Aang and Sokka for support that night. Sympathetically, Katara placed a hand on Akako's shoulder.

'I'm sorry,' she said, 'I wish you didn't have to find out this way…'

Akako hung her head. 'So I was bending their … _blood_?' The final word was barely audible.

'More or less.' Katara opened her arms and gave Akako a small hug. She looked down, trying to smile. 'Come on, let's start training.'

Akako blinked, tears running down her cheeks. 'Okay.'

Katara forced her lips up into a smile and stepped back, one hand on Akako's shoulder.

'Come on, let's train in the gardens instead. It's much nicer there, and we can feed the turtleducks after.'

The two left the courtyard, Katara still keeping her hand on Akako's shoulder, ready to catch her when she fell.

***

Zuko blinked in wonder, watching Katara and her apprentice – what was it? Aka-something … Akaka? That wasn't it … – leave.

_Where does she find the strength? _

He turned around and left the courtyard.

* * *

**AN: Gah, sorry for how long this took. I'm incredibly lazy at times - no surprise there - and when I have to choose between eating shortbread or mustering up the self motivation and muse to write another chapter for my fanfic, I'll usually pick the former.**

**Notes:**

**- Yup, Sokka is a terrible influence on all young people. Gawd knows what he's gonna to do Saika.**

**- So the reunion scene was kinda mushy. I have a feeling that Katara would have reacted the same way if the person in question had been Aang.**

**- Okay, I know that Akako is nine-ish - but she's got Katara for a master and bending's more about a person's spirit, right?**

**- And 'bodybending' was the name that bloodbending was given in the Avatar DS game. I figured that Akako's going to experiment with her bending because she's the inquisitve type, and it wouldn't have taken her too long to figure out you can bend the fluids in a person's body. **

**- Katara placing her hand on Akako's shoulder was supposed to be a reference, of sorts, to the bond between Iroh and Zuko. However, I doubt that, unlike Zuko, Akako will betray anybody below Ba Sing Se in the crystal catacombs, get scarred, or relearn firebending with dragons xD**

**- Also, I'm considering illustrating some of the scenes from _Now and Then_. So what were your favourite parts? Which ones would you like to see drawn? **

**- Please review! **


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.

* * *

Katara woke up to the sound of footsteps. That wasn't right – blinking, she could see that it was still dark. Glancing up through her bedroom window, she could see that the sky was a deep blue-grey. It must be early morning.

The footsteps were louder now; she could see a light shining under her door. It grew brighter. Getting out of bed, Katara walked across her room and opened the door.

'Zuko?' She almost reached up to rub her eyes.

'Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up.'

'It doesn't matter, I'm a pretty light sleeper – what are you doing here at this hour?'

Zuko turned away, and Katara felt her heart almost stop. She reached out to grab his wrist. 'Zuko?' She tried to keep her voice calm, but nevertheless hysteria bubbled over.

He pulled away and she let go, continuing to refuse to meet her gaze. Katara's heart hammered away in her chest. Trying to steady herself, she took a deep breath. It did nothing to calm her nerves.

'Zuko, tell _me what is wrong_. I can help fix it.'

'Katara, believe me, this is something you can't fix.'

After what seemed like a century, in reality is was barely a few seconds, their eyes finally met. Katara did not know why the simple action made her feel so relived – maybe it was because somehow a little bit of Zuko was always showing in his eyes, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

But this time Zuko was completely unreadable, and it frightened her. He sighed.

'There's an Agni Kai at sunrise.'

'Oh.'

'I'm in it.'

All of a sudden Katara couldn't feel her legs. She swayed. Quickly catching herself, she managed not to fall.

***

Some people can be like ice frozen above the water. Smooth and clear on the surface, you think you are able to see right through them, down into the depths of their souls, the ocean floor. Aang had always been that way – Katara had always understood him, the sources of his pain and happiness had been like a flowing river and she had only had to follow it to reach the end, the solution.

But Zuko was different – Katara had never really understood him, never understood his drive to change himself. She knew that there would be people out there who assumed that she was close enough to Zuko to understand him. But there had been days, when she had been living in the Fire Nation, when she would look at his face and wonder 'who is this man?'

***

The sun had begun to rise, but it was still cold.

Despite the hour, it was packed inside the stadium.

And although it was technically against the rules, Katara had managed to grab a waterskin on the way out of her room, and had hidden it in the folds of her dress. Just in case. And although she had promised herself not to, Katara glanced at the other end of the arena, to the nobleman. Toph had said his name, but Katara had chosen to not remember it.

Iroh was sitting at her side, Toph at the other. Sokka and Dad were there too Akako and Koji with them. A part of Katara had wanted to ask her apprentice to sit with her, but she had decided against it. This was something she needed to go through alone.

There was fire. Giant, towering flames – but Katara did not look at the fire. She kept her eyes on Zuko. Katara remembered watching him fight Azula. Of course, this Agni Kai was different; there was no comet to enhance Zuko's firebending.

There are some things in life that can't be explained. A mother will die not out of love, but something else entirely, to save her child. An entire race will fall, save for the boy that will save the world. A hundred years later he would be found in an iceberg. A heart could be broken by a promise. And the reason for that break could be the one thing that kept it from falling apart all over again, every single day.

And exactly one second before it happens, a waterbender will whisper '_no'_, an old man turns as if to ask what's wrong, and then the Fire Lord falls, clutching his stomach, now a horrible mixture of charred flesh and blood. The crowd roared. Toph gasped, and Iroh made a horrified choking sound. Katara couldn't move. She was frozen.

Then there was a roar, and Katara watched as Zuko kicked out with a leg. A semicircular-shaped tongue of fire lashed out across the arena, smacking the nobleman in the legs. He cried out, hitting the ground flat on his back. Zuko was still on the ground, yet had managed to draw back his fist. He burnt the nobleman in the side. Katara turned away so that she didn't have to see the Agni Kai end.

And now she knew how Zuko got his scar.

***

Staying up by someone's side all night isn't nearly as romantic as it sounds. It meant sitting in an uncomfortable wooden chair, which meant getting pins and needles in your legs. It meant dozing off, only to wake up to the sound of the aforementioned someone retching. It meant holding their hand, getting rid of the vomit. Waiting for them to regain consciousness.

An hour or so past midnight, Zuko stirred. _'What …?' _His voice was dry and parched.

'Shhh. Go back to sleep.'

His hand slipped out of hers, and rested beside his side. 'Why don't you?'

For his second bout of consciousness, he was surprisingly aware. Katara wasn't sure if she should be pleased or concerned.

'I'm staying here to make sure you're alright.'

Zuko turned only his head, so that he could look at her. 'I remember. You healed me.'

Katara remembered all too well. 'There'll be some scarring on your chest, but nothing major. Once you're better I can try some more advanced techniques to see if I can remove them.'

He turned away from her. 'Just because you can't see scars …' he was losing consciousness, 'doesn't mean they're not there.'

Zuko submerged into the sea of oblivion, and Katara was left wondering who he had actually been talking about.

***

This Fire Festival was a lot different from the last one Katara had attended. For starters, she wasn't badly disguised in a purple cloak and wearing a mask. This time Sokka was actually having the time of his life – gorging himself on the festival foods. Koji had run off with a group of young firebenders, her father was helping with the fireworks – the man who was meant to be in charge of them had been bitten by a weasel-bat and had to take sick leave – while Akako had preferred to stay at Katara's side. They were watching two firebenders perform.

'Look at how these performers use different forms to waterbending.' Although this was technically meant to be a vacation of sorts, Katara still couldn't resist giving Akako a waterbending lesson – even if it was only a theory one. 'What can you tell me about them?'

Akako cocked her head to one side, thinking. 'Well, they're shorter.' She frowned. 'They use that … punching motion a lot.'

'That's because firebenders rely on a strong offense when fighting – there aren't many defensive firebending forms.'

'That's sort of the opposite of waterbending, isn't it?'

'What do you mean?' Katara turned to face Akako.

'Well, nearly all of the waterbending forms you've showed me block attacks – but there aren't really any,' Akako frowned, clearly searching for the right word, '… _attack_ attacks.'

'Sure there are. There are ice-daggers, for starters. Master Pakku once told me that, if your aim's good enough, they can go straight through a body.' Akako's eyes widened, and she grimaced. 'Water-knifes can cut through pretty much anything,' mused Katara aloud, 'once, when Toph and I were in prison together, I used one of those to cut through a wooden cell, so I suppose they could slice skin as well … And you could use a water-whip to strangle someone …'

Akako's face was now deathly white. 'Y-you think?'

'Why hello ladies!'

Katara sighed. She turned around, even though she already knew it was Sokka. He had a wide, goofy grin on his face, and there was a slight stagger to his step. Although Katara knew that the festival caterers weren't providing beverages or food with alcohol in them, she knew that Sokka's sugar-induced state – the result of the cakes she had seen him stuffing into his mouth by the dozen – was very similar to that of drunkenness.

'Watcha talking about?' He walked over to Katara and slung one arm over her shoulder. She quickly shrugged it off.

'The many ways you can kill a person with waterbending,' said Akako, grinning, to Sokka.

'Oh …' Sokka nervously eyed Katara and her apprentice, and began to back away. 'I'll just be going – _ohmygoshlookatthat!' _He pointed up to the stage. Katara and Akako both spun around. Nothing was different. By the time they turned back, a blue-clad figure was stumbling away from them in the distance.

Katara glanced at Akako. The girl was biting down on her lip, her face bright red. They both began to laugh.

***

'Zuko?'

The door was ajar – he must be in there. Pressing her palm against the wood, it swung open for her. Zuko was sitting on his bed, hunched over, staring at the ground.

'The fireworks are going to start soon. Everyone's wondering where you are.'

He said nothing. By now Katara had walked close enough to Zuko to see that he face was completely blank. Even his eyes were devoid of emotion – which meant that something wasn't right.

'Zuko?'

He looked up at her. Something flickered in his eyes. 'Did Uncle tell you why the Agni Kai happened?'

'No.' Katara was surprised that she hadn't realized this sooner – she had just assumed that it was some sort of minor problem that the nobleman had escalated into an all-out fire duel. But the look on Zuko's face told her that it had been anything but that.

'I was at the meeting. Zheng called you a liability to the Fire Nation. He wanted the Southern Water Tribe to pay for the … expenses,' the word was pure bitterness, 'you had caused by staying here: food, bedding – he even wanted to charge you for the nurses that were taking care of you after you were poisoned!'

Katara felt her heart skip several beats. 'And so you …'

Zuko hung his head. 'Captain Zheng insulted your honor. And honor disputes are always settled by an Agni Kai.'

Katara stood in front of Zuko, placing one hand on his shoulder. _Oh spirits, you are __not__ going to cry now. _Tears slid down her cheeks.

'I could have fought Zheng.' The name itself felt disgusting in her mouth, it was the name of the man who had caused Zuko so much pain. 'You know that.'

'Of course I do,' Zuko half-smiled, 'but it wasn't about that.' His face darkened. 'That wasn't all that Zheng said …' he looked down at the floor again.

'What did he say?'

Zuko's face colored. 'Some … stuff.'

Katara placed her hands on her hips. 'What _stuff_?'

'Aaah … well, about that … _stuff_.' Zuko rubbed the back of his neck, looking almost sheepish.

'Mmm-hmm?' Katara was not amused. She had learned the signs of 'bad news' from Sokka, and everything was there. The red face, the neck-rub, the avoiding of the actual subject. Usually, when Sokka was involved, it meant that all of the blubbered seal jerky had suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and he needed her to cover for him.

'You see,' Zuko seemed to have accepted that Katara was going nowhere unless she got answers, 'Captain Zheng sort of … implied that … we, ah … had a … _thing_.'

'The _stuff_ was actually a _thing_?' Katara resisted the urge to giggle.

Zuko was turning redder by the second. 'A thing, like a …'

Then Katara understood. She almost had to pick her jaw up off the ground. 'Oh. A thing.'

'Yeah.'

Now it was Katara's turn to flush red.

***

At first sight, the woman appeared crippled. She was hunched over, her face heavily lined. Her hair was long and grey with an almost silver look about it – almost pretty if not for the fact it was greasy and hanging in filthy knots down her back. The rags the woman wore were in muted tones: dull brown, earth tones – not the color of her nation.

But Hama wasn't being patriotic today. The time for that was soon arriving, for now she could afford sacrifice …

'Hama.' The voice was rasping. She glared down at Ozai. And spat on him. 'You disgust me.'

The man just laughed hoarsely. 'And yet you answered my summons.' He stood up, and walked over to face the waterbending witch. 'Tell me, how did you escape your imprisonment?'

The woman's eyes gleamed in the darkness. Slowing and deliberately, she raised one hand, and clenched it.

Ozai's entire body froze. Spirits, he couldn't move! For barely a second he was locked. His eyes met Hama's, and hers narrowed in malicious delight. She spread her fingers, and her hold over him was gone.

'You have no idea,' she hissed, 'how long I have wanted to do that.'

Ozai could have killed the woman right then and there. But he didn't. He had heard of her legendary abilities – to bend the fluids in a person's body, to crush them from the inside. And barely seconds ago, all of those rumors had been proved to him.

He smiled. And told her of his plan.

And by the time Ozai had finished, Hama was smiling too.

* * *

**A/N: And so the plot thickens, mmm?**

***cackles* xD**

**Please review!**

**- Writing a sugar-high Sokka was fun!**


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Disclaimer: **AtLA is property is VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.

* * *

On the second day of the Fire Festival, Katara's small group both lost and gained a member. Sokka, who had seemingly contracted a small but painful bout of food poisoning, was confined to his room, but in the wake of his loss Zuko arrived out in the courtyard, to announce that the Fire Nation court members had allowed him a day of vacation, and would it be alright if he joined them for the day? Of course the answer was yes.

'So, where are we going first?' he asked as they walked down a crowded street. Even though it was daytime, there were still colorful lanterns hanging from buildings.

'First we're going to look at some of the mask stalls, and after that Akako wants to some of the firebending performances.'

'I doubt that there will be any of those today.' They continued walking past the houses with the lanterns. They passed one that was strung with only red ones – bright scarlet, like blood.

'Why not?'

'Usually,' said Zuko, 'to get into the spirit of things, one court member or another will find reason to challenge another to an Angi Kai. It's sort of the unofficial rule – even though it was never written down, the Agni Kais always happen. Everyone likes drama during the fire festivals.'

_Oh spirits. _'And yours was the opening act, wasn't it?'

Several muscles in Zuko's jaws jumped. 'Sort of. Not quite.'

The two continued down the street in silence.

*

Katara didn't know what to think.

Zuko had fought in an Agni Kai – for her.

Really, it was simple. There was no need for her to be going over and over the facts in her head all the time. Zuko had fought in an Agni Kai for her, end of story.

But what did it _really_ mean?

*

The masks were both horrifying and captivating. They were painted in traditional Fire Nation colors: red and gold. Some of them had grotesque, demon-like features with long, pointed teeth and narrowed eyes. Zuko told her that they were made for the summer solstice, when the spirits were able to cross over into the physical world – much the same to the winter one.

'Usually there is a play, and those are the masks the 'spirits' wear.' Zuko paused, looking down at several of the most gruesome-looking masks. 'There are dozens of plays performed, but they all have the same story.' He stopped talking, and went back to looking at the masks.

Katara cocked her head to one side playfully. 'So, what, I don't get to be enlightened?'

A faint smile crossed Zuko's mouth. 'Trust me; it's all blatant pro-war propaganda.'

'Too bad, you've got me intrigued. I want to know what happens.' Katara stifled a laugh. 'I won't let you leave this stall until you tell me.'

The corner of Zuko's mouth twitched. 'And how do you plan on doing that?'

She shrugged. 'I'm a master waterbender. I'm sure I'll find a way.'

Hakoda, who had been in the stall next to the mask one, entered – holding several small cakes in his hands. Like father, like son.

'So what have you two been up to?' he asked, looking down at one of the spirit-masks, recoiling in surprise.

'Zuko was just about to tell me about the summer solstice plays.'

'What?' spluttered Zuko. 'I just told you that it was all –'

'And _I_ just told _you_ that I didn't care about your silly Fire Nation propaganda,' interrupted Katara, crossing her arms for effect.

Zuko shot a pleading look at Hakoda, who just raised his eyebrows and shrugged helplessly.

He sighed dramatically. 'Fine. The spirits begin attacking seemingly innocent Fire Nation villagers during the solstice and so the Fire Lord sends out men to attack the spirits and although it appears that they will lost the Fire Nation overcomes the spirits with amazing strength because of their love and overall brute power of their nation. The end.'

Silence.

'What?' Zuko sounded slightly irritated.

'Oh nothing – you were right about the propaganda. I just didn't know you could talk so fast.'

'Argh!' Zuko's fist hit the wall. The stall owner looked up nervously.

'Or do such an excellent pirate impersonation.'

Hakoda started to laugh. Zuko began to turn red.

'Oh lighten up,' Katara smiled, taking Zuko's arm and leading him out of the stall, 'I was just kidding.'

'Can I tell you something?'

'Go for it.' Katara continued walking down the street, keeping an eye out for Koji, who she hadn't seen all day. She'd just assumed he was with those firebenders he had met on the first day of the festival.

'I'm bad with people laughing at me because it was always cruel laughter – when I was a kid.'

'Oh.'

'It was always Azula – she would watch me firebending and just laugh and laugh and nobody would stop her. They didn't care. And then she'd just walk right up and do the firebending that I'd just spend hours trying to get right. She'd get it perfect first go.' There was a note of bitterness to his voice.

'I never meant to …' Katara trailed off, unsure of what to say.

'I know.' Zuko looked away. 'I just didn't want you to think that I was …' He seemed at a loss for words.

'No fun?' Katara suggested light-heartedly. Her attempt at humor seemed to do very little to lift his mood. Zuko moved as if to walk away, but she quickly grabbed his arm. 'Zuko, I don't know if this'll help, but you're one of the most powerful firebenders I know. You don't have anything to worry about.'

Zuko tried to smile. 'Thanks.' He paused, and then frowned. 'What exactly are we doing here?'

'I was looking for Koji. I haven't seen him all day, so I thought I should look for those firebenders he usually hangs out with.'

'You don't seem at all concerned.'

'Koji's a responsible kid. I'm sure he can take care of himself.'

'Katara, he grew up in the South Pole his entire life and you're not the least bit worried that he's been set loose in the Fire Nation capital?' Zuko cried out, exasperated.

'That's why we're looking for him.'

'We? But I never – but you just said –'

'Come on, Zuko. This is one big city we have to search!'

Zuko groaned loudly. Why did he even bother?

***

Ozai was standing at the door of his cell, gripping the cold metal bars. He could hear the sound of the waterbending witch's footsteps – she was ten minutes late. If anyone has had cared to be so liberal with his direct orders, Ozai would have had no qualms over killing them where they stood. However, Hama's talents could not afford to be wasted. So much depended on her and her bloodbending – killing her now would be pointless. The footsteps grew louder, and the time for thinking was gone.

Unlike the other people who knew what was happening, Hama did nothing to acknowledge Ozai. There was no bowing, no forehead pressed to the ground in repect, mingled with a healthy dosage of fear. If anything, she thoroughly despised Ozai and his people – he had seen the way she had addressed the guards, bloodbending them out of pure malice. But Ozai needed Hama – at least for the time being – and thus did nothing to stop them.

'You called for me?'

Ozai nodded once, slowly. 'For everything to go according to plan, you are to go to the Earth Kingdom. We cannot afford for you to be seen here or recognized – if you were to be found in the Fire Nation, it would be obvious to,' he deliberately avoided saying his son's name, 'everyone that you were seeking revenge. In the Earth Kingdom, you can claim that you escaped from prison and are merely trying to return to the South Pole.'

Hama scoffed. 'You expect me to know my way around the Earth Kingdom – a country I have never seen?'

'No. That is why I have arranged an escort for you.'

Long Feng stepped forward from where he had been standing, unobserved in the shadows. He bowed once.

'I am Long Feng, former Grand Secretariat of Ba Sing Se and head of the Dai Li. I have heard so much of you, Bloodbender Hama, and your legendary abilities. Because of my position, I have an intimate knowledge of the Earth Kingdom, as well as Ba Sing Se. I will be your escort.'

Hama made no response to Long Feng's greeting. She turned back to Ozai, her mouth twisted into a harsh scowl.

'And what shall I do once I am in the Earth Kingdom?'

'You will await instruction.'

For a moment rage flashed across Hama's face, she clenched her fist and Ozai again felt that ice-cold sensation, but it was gone in an instant. Hama wasn't going to kill him. They weren't so different after all – too much depended on keeping the other alive. For now.

'Fine,' snarled Hama through clenched teeth.

She left the row of cells – the guard on duty had been visibly shaken by her presence throughout the encounter, and was only too eager to unbolt the door and let her leave.

Only after several minutes had passed and Long Feng knew Hama would not be able to hear him, did he dare to speak.

'The waterbender … are the rumors true?'

Ozai said nothing. Better to let the man live in uncertainty.

*

It was _hot_.

Hot, hot, hot.

How had she even contemplated the idea of the South Pole, her homeland, being too cold? Cold was good. In the icy days of winter you could bundle up in a tent, wrapped around and around with thick furs, with your friends and family. You could curl up into a ball and wait for it to pass. You could eat hot soup every day.

But in the Fire Nation … it was always hot. You couldn't sit down, curl up, or do anything because it just made you sticky. Staying in one place quickly became uncomfortable, and it was nearly impossible to stay cool – Katara had drunk too much watermelon juice, and now had a headache.

Every backstreet had been walked down; every stall-owner had been asked if they had seen Koji. Nobody had.

'When I find that kid …' It was really too hard for Katara to be bothered to elaborate.

Zuko nodded once. 'I'll hold him down.'

*

'Zuko?'

The firebender lifted his gaze.

'I just realized something.'

He blinked.

'We never checked the palace, did we?'

*

If not for the fact that they were both covered in sweat and felt completely disgusting, the scene at the palace would have been almost amusing.

Sokka was sitting on a chair, stuffing his face with what looked to be some sort of exotic Fire Nation fruit – seemingly over his bout of food poisoning. And seated together in the corner of the room were Iroh and Koji, the former teaching the latter how to play the Tsungi horn.

'Remember, Koji, breathe from the –'

'Still gonna hold him down?' murmured Katara out of the corner of her mouth.

Zuko shook his head once. 'Not while Uncle's around,' he said out of the corner of his mouth. 'Later. While he's sleeping.'

'Which one? Koji or Iroh?'

'Both.' At this, Katara snickered.

Sokka looked up. 'Oh, hey, you guys are back. We were all wondering where you two went.'

Zuko growled and stepped forward, but Katara quickly grabbed his arm and jerked him back a step. 'Oh, we were searching for Koji – it's actually quite funny, really,' she forced herself to smile, and gripped Zuko's arm until he did the same, 'I thought Koji had got lost in the city and so Zuko offered to help me look for him. We never thought that he would be in the palace.'

Koji looked up. 'Oh. Sorry about that.'

'No problem,' said Zuko through gritted teeth. He then stalked out of the room.

Sokka looked up from his nearly-demolished fruit. 'What's with him?' When nobody replied, he simply shrugged, and went back to the fruit.

*

The rest of the day passed reasonably uneventfully. Sokka felt well enough to rejoin the group, and from then on they continued walking around the streets, although later – as Zuko had predicted – there was an Agni Kai.

'I can't believe,' said Sokka, who was sitting next to Katara, 'that people in the Fire Nation do this for fun.' He glanced at Zuko. 'No offense.'

Zuko shrugged one shoulder. 'None taken. A part of me wants to abolish the whole Agni Kai system for good,' Katara's eyes drifted to his scar, 'but …' Zuko paused. 'They're a tradition that dates back to before Avatar Zura,'

- At this, Sokka's forehead creased in confusion –

'He is the first officially recorded firebender Avatar, it's thought he was the twelfth,' explained Zuko quickly, 'but that's not really the point.'

'So what is?' asked Sokka. As if on cue, a blast of fire illuminated the Agni Kai arena, heating up the spectator's faces.

Zuko turned away, his shoulders slightly slumped. 'It doesn't matter.'

'Okay then.' Sokka returned to watching the Agni Kai.

Katara sighed, and glared at her brother. 'Zuko, of course it matters. What were you going to say?'

He looked up at her. 'I just … don't want the Fire Nation to lose sight of itself. I mean, of course it has to change, but –'

'- And that _completely_ makes sense –'

- Katara hit Sokka on the thigh to shut him up–

And Zuko laughed.

*

The group made their way to their respective bedrooms for the night, Katara stopping at Akako's to see how she was doing. The waterbender was sitting on her bed, bent low over some scrolls. She looked up when she heard footsteps, and smiled, putting the scrolls down.

'Sorry about the Agni Kai,' said Katara, 'I was hoping that we could train later today, but I sort of got roped into it.'

'Doesn't matter, I practiced by myself. Who won?'

'I don't know,' admitted Katara as she walked across the room, 'some Fire Nation guy.'

Akako laughed. 'That really helps.'

'It was pretty short – it was called off by the officials before anyone actually got hurt. Apparently the Agni Kais during the festival are only for show. You didn't miss anything.'

Akako sighed, but it wasn't an unhappy one. 'I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow,' she said. 'It feels like I only just got here.'

'You're not alone – it was always like that for Sokka and me when we were traveling with Aang. One day we were at Omashu, next I was busting out prisoners on a sea barge, then there was the North Pole and …' She trailed off.

'But seeing all those places must have been great, though,' said Akako eagerly. 'I mean, Sokka said you two got to see all of the Air Temples!'

'I suppose we were lucky, but we were also never in any place long enough to really get to know it properly – apart from Ba Sing Se, we were there for a few weeks, but even then there were places that we weren't allowed to go.'

'Like what?' asked Akako.

'Oh, there was this creepy lade named Joo Dee who kept following us around. If Sokka wanted her to show him to, I don't know, the king's palace, instead she'd just take him back to the house we were staying in. In the end we sort of had to fight our way in.'

'Sokka told Koji and me about that once. He said you were actually _apologizing_ to the guards.'

Katara laughed. 'Yes, that was me. I felt almost sorry for them – after all, it wasn't their fault they were guarding the palace. I felt really mean waterbending at them.'

'But they were stopping you guys from seeing the Earth King. You had to get there to tell him about the Day of Black Sun – you didn't have any other options,' protested Akako.

The corner of Katara's mouth twitched. 'Just how much has Sokka told you guys?'

Akako shrugged, 'pretty much everything.'

Before she could say anything in response, there was a loud thumping sound on Akako's bedroom door. Toph. The earthbender walked into the room without waiting to be greeted.

'Sweetness, you need to get into the conference room. Now.'

'What's wrong, Toph?

Toph grabbed Katara's wrist, dragging her out of the room and down the hall. 'Not _what_. _Who_.'

'Has someone important come here or something?' Toph was pulling at her too fast – Katara stumbled after her friend, trying not to fall over her feet.

'Something like that.' They'd arrived at the entrance to one of the conference rooms. 'Get inside. He wants you there.' Toph let go of her wrist.

'Wait – who?' But Toph had already left.

A little unsure, Katara opened the door and entered the room. At least twenty faces turned to look at her. For a second, Katara thought that nothing was out of the ordinary. Maybe Toph had misinterpreted something Zuko had told her. But then she saw him.

'Is is an honor to have you here, Miss Katara,' said Admiral Nasou, his voice smooth.

Katara nodded, almost in shock, while trying to find Zuko in the crowd. There he was – he looked almost as stunned as she felt – seated at the head of the table. At his side was Iroh, there was an empty chair to his left. She took it.

'Now, Admiral,' said Zuko, 'what was the news that was so important that you had to tell us?'

Nasou cleared his throat. 'It appears,' he began, 'that, in regards to the factory that exploded, there were extenuating circumstances that were not looked into at the time. It appears,' he paused for a moment, 'that the Fire Nation was not entirely to blame for that the explosion, and that the factory owners had not taken the appropriate safety precautions when the building was built. Until an official investigation has been made, the Fire Nation,' his eyes darted to Iroh, 'cannot be held to blame for the incident.'

There was silence. Katara couldn't believe it.

_Did he just – did Nasou just admit – wait, does this mean - ? _

It seemed as if everyone else in the room was thinking along the same lines as Katara, the voices in the room rose. She heard fragments of sentences – 'this cannot be true', 'conspiracy!' – but nothing complete. The voices ran like a flowing river, bubbling and murmuring, with no beginning and no end. They grew louder and more indignant, until Nasou very suddenly stood up, and every mouth in the room instantly shut. A second later, Zuko rose too.

'However,' said Nasou, 'before the Fire Nation can be cleared of its debt, I ask that the Fire Lord visits Sho Lei to see the factory for himself, to understand the extent of the damage caused. Perhaps then,' the admiral's eyes narrowed, and he smiled, 'he will not be so eager to abandon his nation's debt.'

Of course Nasou would _ask_ Zuko to go with him when, of course, there was no other option. Nasou's words, smooth as silk and seemingly as harmless, were actually steel, and there was no escaping it. If Zuko refused, it would look as if he didn't trust the Earth Kingdom, or simply didn't care for the plight of its people.

'Very well. I will go.' Because, of course, it wasn't as if Zuko was able to mull over the decision.

And so, Fire Lord Zuko agreed to accompany Admiral Nasou of the Earth Kingdom to Sho Lei – along with fifty of the Fire Nation soldiers. Just in case.

Of what?

*

After everything had been settled, the meeting quickly broke up. After all, it was nearly dark, and all the Fire Nation court members were eager to return to their respective homes. Fortunately, for Katara, hers was in the same building, so it only took her a minute or so to reach her bedroom.

'Katara?'

She turned around. It was Zuko.

'I just wanted to say …' for someone who should be looking happy – well, as happy as Zuko could be – he looked almost nervous, 'thank-you. For your idea of melting down stuff – it was really helpful.'

'Oh. Okay.' Katara wasn't really sure what to think. 'It was nothing, really.'

There was a pause.

'So,' said Katara, 'I suppose you'll be leaving for Sho Lei soon, right?'

'Yes.' Zuko reached up to rub the back of his neck. 'Actually, that's sort of what I wanted to ask you about.'

'Okay.' Katara took a step closer to Zuko.

'Will you go with me? I mean, Uncle is staying behind in the Fire Nation because I want someone that I _trust_,' an edge of bitterness rose in Zuko's voice, 'in charge.'

'Well that's understandable,' said Katara, 'but, Zuko, I'm meant to be leaving for the South Pole tomorrow.'

Zuko's eyes dropped to the ground. 'I know,' he said. 'But I thought that we could ride ahead on Appa with Akako and Koji and Sokka, drop them off at the South Pole, then meet up with Nasou and his troops at Sho Lei.'

A cool breeze touched the back of Katara's neck, she turned to look out of the window. The sky was purple-blue, several stars already out in the sky. For several seconds, Katara said nothing. Then:

'Okay then.'

As if there had actually been a decision involved.

* * *

**AN: **Sorry for how ridiculously long it took to get this up - before throwing rotten fruit at me, remember why you love Now and Then, right? Also, everyone seemed to want longer chapters so I tried ... whatcha think of this one? And, just for the record, I AM so going to finish the story, no matter how long it takes me to write chapters. Because the epilogue I've got in mind is freakin' amazing - or at least in my opinion :)

Also ...

Avatar Zura - when I say 12th Avatar, I mean 12th as in Air, Water, Earth, Fire ... not the 12th firebending Avatar, just the 12th - if that makes sense. Might write more of him into the story, if I get the chance.

Iroh teaching Koji the Tsungi horn - What? Zuko always refused to ...

Was Aang actually dead during CROD? I've got the ep on my ipod - don't laugh ... - and I was watching it, trying to figure out if Aang was dead or not. I've noticed that, when Katara first catches him his mouth is open, but during the shot where Zuko and Azula are walking forward - I'm-gonna-kill-you style - his mouth is closed. So, what do you think?

Ooh, before I forget, Akako is Japanese name for 'red', which is why it's Toph's nickname for her. Don't ask how Toph knows - she's just cool like that. I'm putting it here now because I always forget to xD

Next chapter will be set at the South Pole, which means more Suki and Saika! *yay*

Please review!

(And, while you're waiting for Shantih to write another chapter, go read Another Brother by AvacadoLove. It's completely and utterly AMAZING. However, this story is rated T, so read at your own discretion.)


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Disclaimer**: Because life is cruel to me, AtLA remains property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.

* * *

Of course, Zuko's plan would have been well and good if not for the fact that he was expected to go with Nasou to Sho Lei the next day – not to the South Pole with two waterbenders and their brothers. This, of course, resulted in fleeing the palace at midnight aboard – a rather grumpy – Appa, a hyper-excited Akako, the tired-and-easily irritated Koji, and a surprisingly awake Sokka.

'Okay, guys, I completely respect your decisions and everything,' he said in a low whisper, 'but are you sure that sneaking out of the Fire Nation Royal Palace at midnight, leaving Toph with a _note_, is really the best way to go about it?'

'No,' said Katara as she loaded some blankets into Appa's saddle, then leaned down so Sokka could hand her some more. 'But, since you weren't around, Zuko and I had to come up with the plan on our own.'

'And this was the best you got?' hissed Sokka incredulously, handing two parcels filled with food, over to her.

'The runner-up involved us dressing Appa up as a dragon spirit.'

Zuko stifled a laugh.

'Seriously?' asked Sokka as he clambered into Appa's saddle.

Katara nodded.

'Honestly, I think that making him pose as Hebai would have been more realistic.' Sokka leant over and pulled Koji into the saddle, while Katara did the same thing on the other side with Akako.

'Who-now?'

'The panda spirit that was attacking that village we went to.'

'How do you know the panda spirit's name?' whispered Katara.

Sokka shrugged nonchalantly. 'I was trapped in the Spirit World. I know these things.'

'Yip-yi – what?'

'Don't worry,' said Toph from ground level, 'you'll find out if it's important enough.'

Zuko sighed.

'Toph, thanks for doing this for us,' said Katara. 'You really didn't have to.'

'And make me miss a prime opportunity to mess with those stuffy Fire Nation guy's heads?' Toph snorted. 'As if!'

'You enjoy their pain.' Sokka wasn't asking a question.

'Well, I need to do something other than earthbending with my spare time.'

'Is that why Lieutenant Zho ...?'

Toph just chuckled, and began to walk away. 'Bye, guys. Have fun; choke on some stewed sea prunes for me.'

Appa soared into the sky; Katara looked down at Toph until she could no longer see her. Then she turned around.

'Zuko, who was Lieutenant Zho?' she asked.

'He was a Lieutenant,' said Zuko, Sokka made a 'duh' sound, 'an intelligent, honest, reliable, firebender of honour ... And then he met Toph.'

Sokka chortled.

*

'Katara?'

'Yes?

'What do we do now?' asked Akako.

'Try and get some sleep. Here,' said Katara, handing the girl some blankets, 'wrap these around yourself and try to find some space.'

Akako shot a disdainful glance at her brother, who was sprawled out on Appa's saddle.

'You honestly think I have much of a chance with _that_ taking up all the available sleeping room?' She rolled her eyes.

'Well do what I did when Sokka decided that there was enough room in the saddle for him only: sit on him.'

'What?' spluttered Akako.

'I sat on him. It worked every time.'

'Did he wake up?'

'No.'

'So ... What did you actually accomplish?'

'Nothing, really,' admitted Katara, 'but it was fun.'

Akako laughed, the sound of it lost in the breeze rushing past them. Sokka made a disgruntled noise, but said nothing, being too busy pouring over a map to make sure they were flying in the right direction.

'Maybe I'll have a go at it,' she said, crawling across the saddle to where Koji was lying on his stomach. After a moment's pause, she sat down on his back. 'Now what?'

Katara shrugged. 'Maybe he'll –'

Koji stirred. 'What the ...' Akako giggled. 'Akako, are you _sitting_ on me?'

'Yes.'

'That's nice.' Koji's head dropped, and in a matter of minutes his breathing was steady and deep.

'Sokka, we're just about at the edge of the capital. Which way now?'

'We're going to the _South_ Pole, Zuko. Think about it for a minute, I'm sure you'll find your answer.'

'Fine. But if we get lost, it's your fault for not giving me better directions.'

'Sure, sure,' Sokka was rummaging through some bags, 'Katara, where'd you put the jerky?'

'Ooh, I knew I forgot something!'

'_What?'_

Katara laughed. 'Relax, it's right here.'

'You're as bad as Toph,' grumbled Sokka almost sulkily.

'No, I'm worse.'

'And why's that?' Sokka's voice was almost mocking.

_Because I can bend the blood in your body and crush you from the inside. I know how to freeze the water in your throat and render you unable to talk. I know seventeen different ways to kill a man with a water-whip alone._

'Because,' said Katara smugly, 'I hid the drawings Gran Gran drew of you when you were a baby.'

'WHAT? You said that you threw those away! Where are they?'

'What's all this about?' asked Zuko over his shoulder. 'What's wrong with your grandmother drawing pictures of Sokka as a baby?'

'Sokka had a very large forehead.' Katara smiled. 'And Gran Gran, who was quite the artist when she was younger, used to draw him when he was little.'

'It can't have been that bad.'

'Yeah, I suppose you're right,' mused Sokka, 'I mean, at least I didn't go around half-bald with a ponytail in the middle of my head.'

'_Sokka!'_

'You better watch your back, peasant.'

'The second we set foot on a campsite it's on pony-tail guy!'

Akako snickered. Koji snored. Sokka began half-forming attack strategies in his head while Zuko tried to calculate how many bones he could get away with breaking before Katara got involved.

*

_Katara was standing in a meadow. The sunlight was warm and it was pleasant to feel on her face. The sky was blue – too blue – and, where there wasn't grass, flowers of every imaginable colour grew from the ground. In the distance she could see a lake, as clear and brilliant as a crystal._

'_Katara.'_

_She looked up and gasped. It was Aang! She ran forward to meet him, but as she did the light grew brighter and harsher until she couldn't see anything and all of a sudden she was in the crystal catacombs underneath Ba Sing Se._

_And then she saw Zuko. She turned around to look at him. He blinked, face passive, in recognition, but said nothing. And when Katara turned back Aang was gone._

_Then everything was gone, she was in Ba Sing Se again and Zuko had arrived carrying Aang – dead, dead, dead as Yue had been – in his arms and this time there was no spirit water or second chance because Aang was dead, dead, dead, his eyes still open and she could hear Azula laughing - _

'Katara!'

Katara sat up, gasping, not really sure of where she was. Then she felt the breeze on her face – her cheeks were wet, had she been crying? – and, as she remembered the events of the past few hours, realized she must have fallen asleep in Appa's saddle. Sokka was looking at her, concerned.

'You okay?' he asked.

The genuine concern in her brother's voice was too much for Katara, who promptly broke down in tears.

'Sokka, can you take the reins for a minute?' There was the sound of people moving – a small 'yeowch' from Sokka when he tripped over the now-slumbering Akako's legs – and then Zuko was sitting next to her.

With a small sigh, Katara leaned on his shoulder, trying to breathe deeply and shake off the sobs. For a few minutes, neither of them said anything. Then:

'What happened?'

Katara tried to laugh – it was a feeble effort. 'Oh, you know,' she gulped down some tears, 'same old, same old. Aang was there – so were you – and it was okay for a bit and then we were in Ba Sing Se again and ...' she looked up at him, vision slightly blurry from the tears, 'you know the rest.'

Zuko put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed. 'I'm sorry.'

She lifted her gaze to meet his. 'Thanks.'

Zuko's cheeks reddened slightly. 'I – I didn't really do much, I mean –'

'... For ... everything ...' Maybe it was because she was still drowsy, maybe she was simply tired, either way, Katara was asleep within the next ten seconds.

Carefully, Zuko took his arm away from Katara's neck, and gently lowered her onto the floor of the saddle, pulling the blanket up around her shoulders. He turned around, as if to leave, but, on a second thought, leaned down. And kissed her on the forehead.

(Of course nobody else saw this. Akako and Koji were both asleep, and Sokka's was seated on Appa's head – the driver's seat, as he nicknamed it – making sure they didn't fly directly into a cloud – they are actually quiet wet, not nearly as dry and fluffy as they appear to be – like that one time.)

Zuko sat down next next to Sokka, and took the reins from him.

'Everything okay?' asked Sokka, reaching up into the saddle and grabbing his map, straining hard to read it in the dim moonlight.

In the darkness, he couldn't see the faint blush on Zuko's cheeks.

'Yeah,' the Fire Lord said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck, 'I think it might be.'

In the darkness, Katara's eyelids fluttered open and she wondered if the kiss was a dream. A tiny part of her hoped it wasn't.

*

The next night was spent camping on solid ground, on a small, uninhabited island off the coast of the Fire Nation. There was no Aang or Toph to make earth-tents for the small group, but thankfully the spring weather was warm enough for them not to require shelter. However, this didn't stop Sokka from insisting they make a campfire.

'It'll be fun!' he insisted, 'plus it doesn't count as the real camping experience if you don't have a fire!'

Katara gave her consent because she couldn't be bothered with arguing, and Zuko didn't really get a choice as Sokka had already elected him as the group's official fire-lighter. Akako and Koji didn't really care; the former being preoccupied with her water-wall sequence, and the latter searching for something to eat. ('A boy after my own heart,' Sokka said, wiping away a tear from his eye.)

'Hey Katara, watch this!' called Akako from where she was standing by a small stream.

The de ja vu hit Katara like a slap in the face – how many times had Aang said the same thing to her? – but nevertheless, she turned around to watch Akako, forcing her mouth up into a smile.

'Watcha think?' asked Akako as she bounded over.

'I think ...' For a few seconds Katara struggled for words, 'I think you're well on your way to becoming a true master, Pupil Akako.'

Akako beamed. 'Really? You think so?'

'Sure,' said Katara, 'one day you'll probably have waterbending students of your own.'

'Yeah right!' yelled Koji over the yells of Sokka, who had been attempting to roast some fish that Katara and Akako had waterbent out of the stream, apparently burning his hand in the process.

'Hey, I'll let you know that my octopus form is –'

Katara tuned out of Akako's retorts, walking over to where the fire, gloving the water over her hands so that no time would be wasted in healing Sokka.

'What happened?' she asked, pressing her hand to the raw pink skin on Sokka's palm.

'It was one of those _freak_ accidents –' began Sokka, but Zuko quickly interrupted him.

'He put his hand right through the flame.'

'I'll have you know,' snapped Sokka, 'that I've done this plenty of times before and –'

'But it's _different_ with candles!'

The silver glow of Katara's healing waterbending died away, and Sokka lifted up his hand to emphasise where the burn once was. He rolled his eyes. 'Duh.'

Zuko's palm hit his forehead.

*

The second night was spent flying above the ocean. There wasn't nearly enough space for four people to stretch and sleep on, so Katara spent her time alternating between sitting in the saddle with her legs drawn up while Sokka slept, or lying on the ground and trying to sleep while Sokka sat with his legs drawn up to his chin. All in all, a rather uncomfortable experience.

*

'How much do you all love me?' crowed Sokka from Appa's head.

Katara blinked and looked up, drowsy from sleep. She could feel the beginnings of an ache in her shoulder, and wondered if she had slept on it funny.

'What is it?' she asked, getting to her hands and knees and crawling to the front of the saddle, sliding down so that she could sit next to Sokka.

Sokka pointed to the horizon. 'Home!'

'Really?' Zuko's voice was raspy. (A part of Katara wondered if he had been sleeping with his mouth open.) 'Where?'

Narrowing her eyes, Katara looked into the distance. She could see a few tiny bumps in the distance that must be houses, there were the caves that she and Sokka had gone penguin-sledding through when they were kids, right behind them were the ice fields that they had been told to avoid at all costs – Sokka had almost drowned there.

It took about fifteen minutes before Appa finally landed on the ground – not that far away from the village. The bison roared tiredly – if such a thing was possible – and sat down, resting his chin on the snowy floor.

'Good boy, Appa,' praised Akako, reaching up to stroke the sky bison on the nose, 'you did a great job.'

'Hello?' called Katara. 'Anybody home?'

And then she smelt the smoke.

'Oh no...'

(Katara was a child who grew up during war. She had known ever since she could remember that the smell of smoke is bad.)

They all began to run.

The Southern Water Tribe was in ruins.

Houses were gone. Tents had been pulled down from the outside. There were dark, rust-coloured patches soaked into the snow. Katara didn't notice them – she was too busy looking, looking. (Where were Gran Gran and Pakku? Where was her father? Who had done this? Why? Where was the moti-)

Katara wasn't the first to see the flag – dark, rusty-red, with a black sea raven as the insignia – but she was the first to react, vomiting straight onto the ground, feeling stark, pure terror that she hadn't felt in years. She could taste bile.

'Southern ...' she couldn't finish her sentence. Katara felt _sick_.

'Oh spirits Katara, I – I disbanded the group, I swear!' Zuko's voice was desperate, pleading. 'It was one of the first things I ever did as Fire Lord, I disbanded the group, sent their leader to guard some town on the coast, gave a few of them early retirement! Katara, please, I –'

'_Sokka?'_

Suki's face was disbelieving, but there was a desperate look in her eyes, one that was begging for this to be true. In her arms was Saika.

'Sokka, I –'

It quickly became apparent that Sokka was too busy kissing Suki to hear what she had to say.

*

There was nowhere for them to sit, so Suki told them what had happened. Nobody really had any idea what to do with Akako and Koji – they could have told them to go back and stay with Appa, only spirits knew what they could stumble upon while heading back. So, in the end, Zuko offered to sit a little while away with the two of them while Sokka, Suki, and Katara talked. Suki explained what had happened.

'Three days ago, came – no benders, though, they carried swords and spears. There were _lots_ of them. Master Pakku said that we all had to evacuate to the tribe to the west, so I went back to the house for Saika. There was a man in there – he hadn't noticed Saika yet, because she was sleeping – and he was going through all our stuff, I think he was searching for valuables.' Suki winced. 'I managed to knock him unconscious from behind, and I grabbed Saika. There were so many people, they were killing anyone – women and children, too – in their path. I managed to get to the edge of the village, but there were some of _them_ there. That's how I got this.' Suki's fingers trailed down a scar that reached from the edge of her left temple to her jawline. 'I couldn't fight the men because I was holding Saika. They wanted to know where my husband was.' Suki hung her head, Sokka's eyes widened. 'They were about to ... you know,' at this, Zuko's face turned bright red, 'when Master Pakku arrived. He managed to fight them off, we were making it to the edge of the village when one of the attacks shot him in the leg with an arrow. We looked back and saw that they were retreating, and since Pakku couldn't walk properly, we decided to go back to the village.' Suddenly, tears began to slide down Suki's cheeks. 'Some of them were _still alive._ And there was nothing I could do – everything we had was destroyed.'

Sokka moved to comfort Suki, wrapping his arms around her shoulders – the small family was reunited.

'Do you know what happened to Dad and Gran Gran?' asked Katara.

Suki looked up from over Sokka's shoulder. 'I have a feeling that your father got away, Katara, but I can't be certain. He was on the very edge of the village when it happened, I think he was about to go ice-fishing. But I know for a fact that Hakoda would never give up without a fight.'

Katara nodded numbly. And then she realized something.

'Suki?'

Her sister-in-law looked up.

'Where's Pakku?'

There was a dangerous pause.

'He's ... alive,' began Suki slowly, 'we managed to pull a tent up on the outskirts of the village – in case they came back – and he's been resting there ever since. I managed to get the arrow out of his leg and wrap it up, he seems to be healing okay, but he's staying put for the time being in case it becomes infected.'

Katara breathed a sigh of relief. 'Well you can show me where he is and I'll heal his leg for him.'

Suki smiled wearily. 'That would be really good,' she said quietly, the effect of the past few days showing in her eyes.

Zuko walked over to the small group. 'Is there anything I can do to help?' he asked.

'No, Zuko, you have to get to the Earth Kingdom,' said Katara quickly, 'I mean ...' she trailed off, suddenly wondering what would happen.

'No, guys, I want to –'

'Katara's right,' said Sokka, 'you need to go to the Earth Kingdom, Zuko. Admiral Nasou is expecting you.'

'But –'

'Zuko.' Katara's voice was firm. 'Your people _need_ you to go to the Earth Kingdom and inspect the factory in Sho Lei. Spirits know what will happen to the Fire Nation if you don't. They need you ... more than we do. More than I do.'

For a second, all Katara and Zuko saw were each other.

'I ...' Zuko lowered his gaze. 'Very well. But at least let me help you bury your dead.'

'Okay,' said Katara, taking a deep breath, speaking for the group. 'But you have to leave tomorrow night, or you won't arrive in time.'

*

The next night, Appa left the Southern Water Tribe. Zuko took the reins, because Katara was too busy hiding her tears, pretending she was confused as to why she had chosen him.

* * *

**AN**:

- Yes, for all you Narutards out there, Katara thanking Zuko was a reference to Sasuke's (in)famous (depending on what you ship) line. In no way am I comparing the two, just ... referencing. Because I'm the author and I can :)

- Katara sitting on Sokka is a sort of personal joke with a bit of a backstory. You see, I recently started taking Zen do Kai classes - it's a type of martial art - and now, whenever I threaten to beat up my brother, I tell him that, not only do I have ninja skills, I can also sit on him because I have three years on him :)

- HE KISSED HER, HE KISSED HER! *lah-lah-lala-lah-la!* Originally, I wasn't going to have Zuko and Katara kiss until ------- but while writing this chapter, it just felt so darn perfect that I couldn't resist. (However, I don't count it as a super-passionate romatic kiss. I mean, it was on the forehead. If anything, for me at least, the moment was meant to show that Zuko genuinely cares for Katara.)

- The South Pole. Ahem. At the very beginning, while plotting ahead as I always do, I had several alternate endings to what could have happened here. One involved Suki being killed, and Sokka later getting together with Toph, but that felt too easy for me. And, also, there are other villages in the Southern Water Tribe. I might look into that later, when I have the time.

- In case you were wondering, Pakku didn't heal his leg because he doesn't know how. (Remember that's the girl's job in the NWT) Also, this isn't a tiny burn - it's a full-blown arrow in your leg. However, I'm not saying Pakku doesn't have healing abilities - he just hasn't learned how to utilize them yet. (Did I spell that right?)

**Question and Answer:**

**Q. What happened to Gran Gran? Is she still alive?**

A. I have a feeling that Hakoda got her out of the village without being injured.

**Q. And Hakoda?**

A. Alive and well, as far as I'm concerned. Evacuated Kanna and various other peoples out of the village.

**Q. Why didn't anyone apart from Pakku try to make sure that Suki was okay?**

A. Suki's a Kyoshi Warrior. Everyone knows how tought and awesome she is, they probably forgot that, in the heat of the moment, it's kinda hard to fight off multiple bad guys while carrying your infant daughter xD

**Q. Who attacked the SWT?**

A. All shall be revealed *disappears in a puff of smoke*


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Disclaimer: **Dear Santa, I would really REALLY like to get Avatar: The Last Airbender for Christmas this year. Because I know that me owning the show is a next to impossible request, I'm sending you this letter now in the hopes that, come Christmas, you'll have somehow arranged for me to own the show :)

* * *

*

It was cold. Katara was aware of that. And even though she was curled up inside multiple blankets, she was also aware that it was raining.

_That's odd, we've been travelling for a few days now. Why haven't we reached the South Po-?_

Then she remembered.

*

'_Thank-you,' said Pakku – he looked tired, she noted – as he stood up, brushing the palms of his hands together as if to wipe away the memory of the last few day's events. _

'_I'm just sorry we weren't here to help sooner,' admitted Katara softly. _

'_It isn't your fault,' interjected Suki, her voice firm, 'there was no way that you could have known that the attack was going to happen. Nobody knew ...' The silence that followed was marred only by Sokka's cooing – he was holding Saika, and was completely absorbed with his small daughter._

'_Do you have any idea who did this?' asked Zuko._

'_No,' said Pakku, 'the attackers were dressed in black, and they took extreme care not to show which nation they were from – not a single one of them used bending, even if they had been able to.'_

'_Then they must have wanted to keep their identities a secret,' mused Zuko, 'if they took such great care – the nation that these people belonged to –'_

'_The disgrace would be unimaginable,' finished Pakku simply, 'the repercussions ...'_

'_Everyone wants the Water Tribes to be restored to their former glory – especially the central Earth Kingdom,' continued Zuko, 'who desperately need to start trading again. And if I remember correctly, the Earth King's armies are a force to be reckoned with. Admiral Nasou will hear of this.'_

'_And then what?' asked Sokka, who had apparently been completely tuned-in to the conversation the whole time. 'What happens next?' Something in his voice broke slightly, and Sokka's eyes narrowed. _

_(He was standing in smoking ruin of what once was his home holding his infant daughter while the mother of the aforesaid child talked about the dire consequences of unprovoked attack on a developing nation with the Fire Lord.)_

_Zuko closed his eyes, for a second it looked as if he were praying, and breathed in deeply. 'I'll go back to the Fire Nation and get Toph. Then we'll go to the Earth Kingdom and interrogate all of the officials there, and then we'll go back to the Fire Nation and ask them. Someone has to know – we'll find them. Toph will be able to tell the instant someone seems to be hiding something, then we'll have a lead. Then I'll go back to Ba Sing Se and get the Earth King to pledge his armies to the cause and we'll hunt them down. I'll probably sneak in disguised or something like that, to get to the heart of the base and discover who's really behind it all, and –' Zuko's fist clenched, an electric blue spider web popped and crackled around it –_

'_I'm going with you.'_

_There was silence._

'_Um, Katara,' began Sokka tentatively, 'before Sparky here goes and blows up stuff, he has to go to Shei Lo or whatever first. Right?' Zuko nodded._

'_I know. I'm going to Sho Lei with Zuko.'_

_More silence._

'_Katara,' Suki's voice was gentle, 'Zuko really has to leave for Sho Lei today, remember? Didn't you want to see Hakoda and Gran Gran?'_

'_I know.' Katara pursed her lips, her jaw set. 'But I have to go with Zuko.'_

_It was obvious that nobody knew what to say. Several times Suki opened her mouth as if to speak, but each time she shut it – worry growing in her eyes. The worry lines in Pakku's forehead deepened, but he said nothing._

'_Why?' The hurt in Sokka's voice was evident._

'_I have to do this.' _

'_No. You don't.' _

'_Sokka ...'_

'_What?' Sokka spun around to face Suki. 'Katara doesn't have to do this at all! There are going to be people we love at the western tribe who are hurt, and they're going to need Katara to heal them – but she's decided, oh no, they can bleed and wait –'_

'_Sokka!'_

_Sokka's eyes turned shiny and bright, '–For you to finish your little field trip with Zuko, which is obviously more important to you!'_

'_No, it's __not__ more important to me!' snapped Katara. 'I love you all equally – but I owe Zuko this.'_

'_Katara.' Everyone turned to face Zuko. 'You don't have to do this. Sokka's right, you can't go to Sho Lei with me, you're needed in the western tribe. You don't owe me anything.'_

'_Don't make my choices for me, Zuko. And don't say I owe you nothing, because that's a lie.' Katara turned away from the small group. 'Zuko, we have to leave now if we're to get to Sho Lei in time to meet Admiral Nasou. Goodbye everyone.' _

_It was only later, as Appa flew away, that the tears began to fall._

*

She looked up. The sky was dark grey, fringed with storm silver and pearl-white where weak beams of moonlight shone through the clouds. For several minutes Katara said nothing, and listened to the rain fall. Only when the raindrops began to fall on her cheeks did she sit up, wiping them away with the back of her hand. Looking up, she could see Zuko – or at least the back of his head and his shoulders – sitting on Appa's head.

'Zuko?'

The figure remained motionless. Katara crawled up along the saddle, until she could lean over the edge and talk properly to Zuko.

'You should get some sleep – I'll fly Appa.'

Zuko said nothing. His face stayed turned away from hers.

'Zuko?'

Katara slid down, out of the saddle and onto Appa's head, next to him.

'You okay?'

Zuko raised his chin slightly, still not looking her in the eyes. 'I'm fine, Katara,' he said tersely.

There was a brief pause.

'No you're not.'

'How do you know?' snapped Zuko, turning suddenly to look at her. 'Are you me? Do you know what I'm thinking? Do you regularly take trips inside my head and analyse every single thought of mine?'

'Zuko –'

'Do you understand that I can do this on my own and that I don't need you to help me? Don't you get anything at all? I _don't_ need you, Katara! I can do this on my own and you don't owe me _anything_!

'You were needed at the South Pole but you deserted everyone there because of something that you supposedly owe me and how do you think that makes me feel? All of a sudden I'm responsible for people who are hurt not being healed because you chose me over them!'

'_Zuko_!' Katara's voice broke as she said his name.

He stopped suddenly, turning away again. Closing himself off. If this had been several months ago, Katara would have been crying by now – tears sliding down her cheeks, her heart hammering away in her chest because she was becoming submerged in an ocean of pain and equally painful memories.

But, of course, it wasn't several months ago. It was now. And Katara was really mad.

'I. Owe. You. _Everything_.'

'No, you don't!'

Something inside Katara snapped. 'You say you don't need me, Zuko, and maybe that's true, but have you ever once considered that maybe it's the other way round and I need you? And, for the record, what I did was my decision – not yours. Sure, you were a contributing factor into the choice I made but it was my decision alone and –'

'But this remains my burden too because you just as good admitted that if it hadn't been me you would have stayed at the South Pole –'

'I said nothing of the sort!'

'If it had been anyone else you would have gone to the western tribe to heal the injured! But because it was me and _you need me _you abandoned your people! It's my fault that the injured are staying that wa-'

'It was MY decision, Zuko!'

'Yet you admitted that I influenced it!'

'Of course you did! You just don't get it, do you?'

'I guess I don't. Do a better job of explaining yourself and maybe I will then.'

Infuriated, Katara clenched her hands. 'Fine!'

There was silence.

'Whenever you're ready ...'

Katara struggled to find the right words. 'I – you're – you –'

'I'm _what_?'

Katara made an exasperated sound. 'You're YOU. You're special to me and of course you're going to influence my decisions in a completely different way than, say, Sokka would because of who you are and what you've done for me!'

Zuko laughed hoarsely. 'What _I've_ done for you?'

Katara nodded, her mouth a thin, straight line.

'I shouldn't be special to you, Katara. I'm the reason Aang is dead. Instead of 'needing' me, you should do the smart thing and keep hating me.'

Katara said nothing for a few seconds. The next time she spoke, her voice was small and teary. 'Does our friendship really mean that little to you? Would you dispose of it that quickly, just so I could do what you think I should?'

'Don't think of me that way, your friendship means the world to me, but I'm undeserving of it.'

'Nobody deserves love, Zuko, and I suppose the same could be said for true friendship. I can't control how I feel about you, and it's unfair of you to tell me to be otherwise.'

'Then I apologize. In hindsight, what I said was cruel and wrong.'

Everything had become so unbearably formal. Katara's chest felt tight.

'Goodnight, Zuko,' she said stiffly, before standing up and leaving his side.

Katara didn't turn back once to look at Zuko – for what? A sign of regret, perhaps – as she curled up in Appa's saddle, wrapping blankets around her for warmth, all the while wishing that it had ended differently. Why hadn't she been able to explain anything to him? Sighing unhappily, she yanked the blankets up to her shoulders and drew her knees up until they almost reached her chin.

Katara didn't have nightmares that night. She was also unable to sleep.

*

Everything changed after the argument. Zuko stopped speaking to Katara unless it was absolutely necessary, and Katara stopped talking to Zuko full-stop, out of a combination of anger and hurt. As a result of this, a good percentage of Katara's time was spent in silence while she sat in Appa's saddle with her chin in her hands, watching clouds go buy and feeling a knot form in the edge of her shoulder blade. All in all, a decidedly boring experience.

For his part, Appa flew well and fast. A part of Katara wondered if the bison had grown since the day she had first seen him, but then again Appa had always been huge to her – maybe she was just imagining things. Either way, they were making excellent time.

She did sneak several glances Zuko's way every now and again, just to see how he was doing. For his part, Zuko seemed okay – maybe a little distracted and tired, but that was to be expected. Sometimes she caught him looking her way, too, but of course neither of them said anything about it.

*

A few days later – two or three, Katara had lost track of time – they reached the north-western Earth Kingdom shores. Zuko broke the silence by telling her this.

'Sho Lei is probably a day's flying from here,' he said, 'if we don't make any stops.'

'Well we need to,' replied Katara almost coldly, 'I want to –'

'We can stop somewhere before we arrive and you can freshen up there if you want to. I already thought of that.'

A little touched, for a moment she was at a loss for words. 'Well, thanks. I'll do that.'

'Do you know what you're going to wear?' asked Zuko, tentatively continuing the conversation.

'What, do you want to colour-coordinate our outfits?'

There was a short bark of laughter, courtesy of Zuko.

'Sokka would've been proud of that,' he said, smiling.

Katara shrugged. 'Probably.'

Zuko stopped laughing, and although Katara couldn't see him from where she was sitting, she had a feeling that his eyes had turned grave.

'Katara, I ...'

'Please don't talk to me, Zuko.'

Surprisingly, he did.

*

'Katara? We need to leave or we'll be late!'

Katara quickly bent the water out of her hair, and splashed out of the river – where she had been standing it had been knee-deep. Quickly doing the same for the rest of her body, she slipped back into the dress she was wearing – red, _at least this one will match Zuko, _she thought sarcastically – and, while running up the hill to where the Fire Lord was waiting for her pulled on her sandals.

Zuko, who was sitting at the base of a tree, turned around, evidently surprised by her presence.

'What?' asked Katara, too curious to ignore him.

'Nothing, it's just you actually finished on time. I thought that women took ages getting ready for formal events and –'

'Whatever. I can do my hair while we're on Appa,' said Katara noncommittally as she walked over to the sky bison and clambered into the saddle. 'How far away is Sho Lei anyway?'

Zuko shrugged. 'About two hours, one if Appa proves to be a miracle-worker.'

'Mm-hmm.'

'Katara?'

She looked down at him.

'I'm ... sorry,' began Zuko slowly, 'I shouldn't have questioned your judgement ... If you want to go to Sho Lei with me, then that's your decision. I'm sorry for interfering.'

Katara forced her mouth up into a smile. 'Thanks.'

'And, I just want you to know that I'm sort of happy you're coming with me. At least that way there's someone with me who I can really trust. I don't want to enter Sho Lei with us on bad terms with each other.'

Even though she didn't say anything, this time she could feel that her smile was almost genuine. Almost.

*

'There's Sho Lei.'

'Really? Where?' asked Katara – _I thought you were ignoring Zuko_, a snarky voice in her head responded – leaning over the saddle to look down. She could see what appeared to be a regular Earth Kingdom city – there were walls, and she could see tiny green specks that indicated earthbenders stood guard. Sho Lei actually reminded her of Omashu.

However, in the centre of the town, if she looked hard, Katara could see that all was not well. As Appa began to lower himself through the sky, she could clearly see what was a construction area. _That must be the site of the factory that was exploded._ She could also see a red sea admit the green colours of the Earth Kingdom soldiers – _those people must be the fifty soldiers who were meant to be travelling with Zuko – _all standing together in what appeared to be the centre of the city: a large, circular-shaped courtyard with several statues – Katara could not discern what the statues were actually meant to depict, not from the sky, anyway – in the courtyard's centre.

As Appa flew lower and closer to the ground, many of the faces, both Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation, turned upwards, and even from Appa's saddle Katara could hear that they were all talking at once, their voices sounding disbelieving. With a roar, Appa hit the floor of the courtyard, scattering the soldiers like desert wasps.

Always quick, Zuko was the first one to get out of Appa's saddle. He managed to do so with very little grace, literally staggering down brown-arrowed back of the bison's tale – but, Katara supposed, it was really hard to 'dismount' a bison gracefully – however it appeared that soldiers were too surprised to really notice this. Katara came second, feeling slightly wobbly when her feet found solid ground.

'Fire Lord Zuko.'

Katara was surprised that the male voice was not that of Admiral Nasou's – she had expected the cold-hearted admiral to make an appearance – but instead appeared to be that of Lieutenant Ryuu. It took Katara a second to pick the man out of the crowd and find his face. The lieutenant stepped forward and bowed once to Zuko and Katara.

'And Princess Katara too – what a surprise! Admiral Nasou will be most intrigued to hear that you accompanied the Fire Lord all the way here!'

'Zuko,' Katara wasn't sure if she should address Zuko with his title or without, but she decided to forgo it, after all, they were friends, 'asked me to accompany him to Sho Lei. The Earth Kingdom is a wonderful nation, I was glad to have an opportunity to go there again.'

'Having the Avatar's fiancée here is a great honour,' replied Lieutenant Ryuu smoothly. 'However I feel it is my duty to insist that you must refrain from touring the factory site with Fire Lord Zuko and his men – perhaps you would prefer to go sightseeing instead? Sho Lei hosts some of the Earth Kingdom's most prized exhibition gardens and –'

'Why wouldn't I want to tour with factory with Zuko?' retorted Katara, too late realizing that she had interrupted a powerful man who could be a potential enemy.

To her relief, the lieutenant smiled, relaxed, his teeth glinting in the sunlight. 'I assure you that I meant no discourtesy – I was concerned that a lady such as yourself would find touring an old factory site dull and mundane, and was merely suggesting that you would hopefully find as a more pleasing alternative.'

'Thank-you for your suggestion, Lieutenant,' replied Katara, keeping her voice almost as smooth as his, 'but I came to Sho Lei with the intentions of touring the factory site with Zuko, and that is what I plan to do.'

Momentarily, something in the Lieutenant's face fell and his eyes briefly darkened, but as soon as it had appeared the face was gone and he was smiling broadly again.

'Very well,' he said, 'the factory is this way. Please follow me.'

*

Katara was surprised that no form of transport had been offered to her or Zuko, but of course she said nothing – the factory was only a short walk away, and it was nice to be able to stretch her legs again. Upon arriving at the factory – a large metal building, a mixture of metal and scaffolding – she and Zuko were ushered inside by Lieutenant Ryuu. Admiral Nasou was waiting for them inside – the man started in surprise when he saw Katara. Nevertheless, he waited until the formal introductions had pleasantries had been exchanged before enquiring into the waterbender's presence.

'We did not expect your company, Princess,' he said as the large group made their way down a long corridor.

'It appears,' began Ryuu quickly, 'that Fire Lord Zuko asked Princess Katara to accompany him to Sho Lei. At first I did not believe that a lady would be interested in such political matters, but Princess Katara _insisted_ on joining us.'

There was quiet, marred only by the sound of footsteps echoing on the metal floor, before the admiral spoke again, a sigh in his voice.

'Well, it appears that the princess has made up her mind then. So let it be.'

They arrived at the end of the corridor, where the ground opened up into a large shaft.

'Before we explore the ground level of the factory, Fire Lord,' stated Nasou, 'I would first like to show you the lower level – the factory's underground mining area where precious metals were searched for. The mine's frameworks were badly damaged in the explosion, and I believe it is essential that you survey the damage yourself.'

'Is the area safe?'

'Of course,' said Nasou, 'the areas that are still considered truly hazardous have been blocked off. The ones we shall be in have been deemed fit to be in – however, it is still possible to see the extent of the damage caused.'

Zuko nodded. 'Very well. Katara?'

'Princess,' interrupted Nasou somewhat gently, if that was even possible for him, 'by all means, the journey to the mining area of Sho Lei's factory is by no means a comfortable one – quite claustrophobic if I do say so myself – and you are by all means welcome to wait here for us.'

'No, I'll go,' Katara's voice was resolute; 'I'm fine with tight spaces.' She remembered how Toph had earthbent them all underground back during the group's first journey to Ba Sing Se, and how dark it had been there. Surely she would be able to cope with two rides – she guessed that one of the soldiers would bend a pillar of earth up through the shaft and that they would stand on it as he earthbent it down - which would be relatively easy to deal with.

Nasou said nothing, but nodded. He made a motion with his hand and a young Earth Kingdom soldier stepped forward, bending earth up through the shaft. Nasou indicated for Katara and Zuko to step forward, doing so himself. A second later, Lieutenant Ryuu followed.

'Fire Lord?' asked a Fire Nation soldier, stepping towards them. It was obvious that there wasn't going to be enough room for all of the soldiers – not on the first trip down, anyway.

'Shuzo, Taizo, Zenjiro,' said Zuko. Three of the soldiers joined them on the earth. Katara noted that they were all tall and muscular – one of them had a long scar running from his left temple down to his jawbone.

'Fire Lord, you are welcome to invite more of your men onto the elevator,' said Nasou, 'I have no need to ask Earth Kingdom soldiers to join me – there are more men waiting on the lower level.'

Slowly, Zuko shook his head. 'Three firebenders is enough.'

Nasou smiled coldly, and one of the earthbenders widened his stance and pushed down with his palms, the pillar of earth quickly descending down. Katara looked up, the faces of Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation soldiers peering down at her until they became so small that she could no longer see them, still they were going down, into the darkness, when finally the shaft ended and the group was standing in a large, open cavern. Stakes of wood had been earthbent onto walls and lit so that there was light. If she looked closely, Katara could see the glints of precious metals in the walls of the cavern.

'This way, please,' said Nasou.

The small group made their way through the cavern, stopping in front of what appeared to be solid wall. The earthbender who had taken them down to the lower level of the factory made a punching motion with his hands, and the wall sunk into the ground.

They walked down a corridor, through a small network of pathways, and through two more caverns.

'Admiral? Were there any rooms in particular that you wanted to show us or was your plan for us to wander around all day?'

'Of course, Fire Lord, you are needed in the cavern straight ahead.'

Zuko said nothing in reply, but glanced once at Katara and rolled his eyes, suppressing an exasperated smile. Finally, they reached the cavern – it was the largest of all the ones she had been in so far. For some reason, the lights were dimmer there; it was almost as if the flames themselves had lost their spark. Waiting for them in the cavern were at least fifty Earth Kingdom soldiers, all standing to attention with their faces smooth and passive. They all bowed to Zuko upon his arrival in the cavern; the Fire Lord returned their gesture.

One stepped forward and shook Zuko's hand. And then several things happened very fast.

The earthbender pushed Zuko's hand against the wall, bending earth out of it and pinning him there. Katara felt two hands roughly grab her shoulders, instinctively she elbowed the assailant in the gut – a groan, the pressure released – and spun around, already raising her hands in preparation of attack, to her horror realizing that _she didn't have her waterskins with her. _

'Argh!'

Katara spun around to see Zuko, who still had one arm pinned to the wall, fighting off the earthbenders. There was a sudden rush of heat – Zuko was _breathing_ fire – and the sounds of earthbenders crying out in surprise and pain echoed across the cavern.

Katara took a deep breath. _Think, Katara. You need to get Zuko out of here. You don't have water so how –?_

Something glinted in the weak firelight. It was the hilt of a blade that Nasou was carrying – that should've tipped her off right away. What use would an Earth Kingdom admiral have for a knife? Katara smiled, because now she had a plan. As she sprinted over to where the admiral was standing, Katara ducked the arms that reached out to restrain her, until she finally stood face-to-face with Nasoul.

She threw a punch; he ducked it, quickly sending his own fist flying into her stomach. Gasping, Katara staggered back a few steps – Nasou was now rushing at her, she narrowly avoided him by spinning around at the last minute and, as his back was facing her, grabbed the knife!

_You go, girl! _she mentally congratulated herself, quickly pulling the sleeve of her dress up to her shoulder.

The stinging sensation, the result of drawing the knife up her arm, was something akin to a slap in the face, but Katara had no time to dwell on the pain. Already she could see blood, slick and scarlet, rising to the surface of her arm. Hurriedly, she bent the blood off of her arm – there wasn't nearly enough for anything useful, but still, _she had to try_ – and now she could fight.

Pushing her way through a sea of Earth Kingdom soldiers – using her own blood to cut them, sometimes in the forehead so blood went into their eyes, sometimes wherever she could hit – Katara moved like a snake. Twisting, turning, back and forth with a slash, pushing shoving, the scent of sweat and blood and smoke thick in the air, out of the corner of her eye seeing Zuko's three firebendings, swamped by earthbenders, and –

A hand from behind closed around her neck, squeezing hard. _Very_ hard. As Katara gasped and choked – _shecouldn'tbreathe_ – trying to wrestle out of the attacker's grip, the knife was wrenched from her hand. Her chin was pushed up – with a sigh she started inhaling and exhaling again – so that she could barely see over the bridge of her nose, and the cool edge of the blade was being pressed against her throat. And none too gently either. (She could see the bodies of Zuko's firebenders, still and unmoving, on the floor, and tasted bile.)

'Coward! Let her go!' The anger in Zuko's voice was undeniable, but there was something in his voice that was pleading, too. Katara wondered if he had been able to break free of the earth-cuff.

The grip around Katara's throat slackened ever so slightly, and she dropped her chin. She could now see that Zuko had indeed broken free of the earth-cuff, and was now standing in the centre of the cavern. Very slowly, he raised his arms, never taking his eyes off of her.

The man behind her chuckled darkly. 'So the girl turned out to be useful after all.'

'Quiet!' hissed another unknown voice, and the man stayed silent.

Nasou was now standing in front of Zuko. Although his back was to Katara, she had a feeling that the arrogant admiral would be smirking.

'Fire Lord Zuko, you are under arrest.'

_What? No!_ Katara wanted to rush forward, attack Nasou, get that disgusting man _away_ from Zuko, but the knife pressing against her throat was a constant reminder that movement of any kind of her part would be fatal.

Zuko lifted his gaze to Nasou's. 'What are the charges?'

Nasou laughed coldly, a soldier came behind Zuko and Katara heard the clink of metal on metal as his hands were bound behind his back.

'Treason. As I always say: once a traitor to a nation, always a traitor to a nation.'

'I was pardoned.'

'Were you?' chuckled Nasou. 'Or was it just assumed on the day of your coronation that you had been forgiven? Far from it, _Prince_ Zuko.'

'What do you mean?' Zuko's voice was scathing.

Nasou sighed. 'As you most likely already know, you were the first Fire Lord ever to succeed the previous one while he was still alive. Although you took the title, your father –'

'That man is _not_ –'

'Oh really? I guess I must be _imagining_ the fact that you two are the _spitting_ _image_ of each other – despite the fact you both vehemently deny it.'

Zuko eyes widened in realization.

'You've been in contact with Ozai.' It wasn't a question.

Nasou nodded. 'Of course.'

The next ten minutes passed in a blur. Katara remembered being dragged out of the cavern, feeling slightly woozy – probably from blood loss – into another room. Katara felt like she was in a dream – none of this could be possible.

At the end of a room was a throne. A man who looked a good deal like Zuko – same face, same eyes – sat there, dressed in a ruby-red robe, gold at the cuffs of the sleeves and collar. Zuko whitened at the sight of the man, making a surprised sound from the back of his throat upon first sight. It took Katara a few seconds longer than it should have – she blamed the blood loss – to realize who the man was.

'Well, well, this is a most unexpected surprise. The new Fire Lord _and_ his little friend.'

Ozai stood up and walked over to Katara, standing in front of her. He tilted his head slightly, examining her. She was painfully aware of just how fast her heart was beating, racing and hammering away in her chest.

'Leave her alo –!' There was the thud of flesh hitting flesh – Zuko groaned and fell silent.

'I have to admit, you were nothing like I expected.' Ozai's voice was low. 'Of course, when I was a child the Southern Water Tribe was all but extinct – the tales I heard of the people there spoke of savages and unintelligent brutes. Yet you, however, could _almost_ pass for a lady. How interesting.'

Gritting her teeth, Katara fought hard to stop herself from retorting. Ozai turned around, as if to leave her be, but at the last minute his eyes caught sight of her bloodied arm, and he turned around again.

'This _is_ most curious,' he murmured, eyes lingering on blood-soaked sleeve of her dress, 'especially as I gave Admiral Nasou express orders not to harm Zuko while arresting him – we did not expect your company, of course, but nevertheless the orders are still relevant to you.'

'The waterbender cut herself with a knife,' informed Nasou, dropping all pretence of using titles, 'so that she had something to bend with.'

Ozai raised his eyebrows in mock disbelief. 'She was able to bend her own blood?' He smiled cruelly. 'I have an acquaintance, a waterbender too, you might know of her, who also bends blood. Her name is Hama.'

Katara felt as if the floor had dropped out from underneath her. For a second she forgot how to breathe. She couldn't hear anything, or think properly, everything else passed in a blur of panic and confusion.

_Ozai knows Hama. Hama's here. How did she escape?_

She was being pushed out of the cavern, Ozai said something about Zuko's 'training' beginning tomorrow. (Hama wasn't here yet, but she would arrive soon. Then Katara could begin training too. She almost screamed.)

_Bloodbending. Only by the full moon. Wait, didn't Akako manage to during day – what if?_

Arriving at the door of a metal cell.

_She's back. She can hurt people. She'll hurt Zuko._

The door slid open. Ice-cold handcuffs, tightened around her wrists until they bit into her skin, bound in front of her so that any type of bending would be impossible.

_She'll hurt Zuko._

Zuko turned to look at her, his eyes wide and scared.

_She'll hurt me._

Katara should have been too numb to cry. The horror associated with the situation she was in shouldn't have set in yet. So why was she able to cry?

_Because Zuko will get hurt._

* * *

**AN:**

Wow, long chapter. (By my standards.) I wrote most of this without going over any of it, so if you spot any spelling/grammar mistakes, could you please tell me in your review? *not-so-subtle-hint*

Aaaand: Having Katara and Zuko argue just when their relationship is seemingly smoothing out was something that was important to me - I wanted to write anst! (I have a feeling Aang would be proud of me, he being the King of Aangst). Because these two are going to argue whichever way you look at it, and then - while I was writing, I mean - was as good a time as any. I wanted to show that Katara's decision was affecting everyone around her - from Sokka (who is more likely than not seeing this as selfish abandonment) to Zuko (poor guy now feels completely responsible for Katara leaving.) Personally, while writing the argument I wanted it to appear that there was no right or wrong side to it, because there isn't.

Also, Nasou's betrayal was something that I'd had planned from pretty early on. (This is something, coming from me, who'll change the entire plot of a fic on a whim. Seriously.) Honestly, did you see it coming? Were you suspicious of him? Was this all painfully obvious from the beginning? And, just to clarify, Nasou can't earthbend. I think I forgot to incorporate that into the story, but it explains why he didn't use bending to attack Katara when she was trying to get the knife off him.

But before everyone forms an angry mob and hunts him down - I'll be the one weilding the giant butterfly net to trap him with - I just want to say that _both Nasou and Ryuu tried to talk Katara out of going into the factory with them. _This shows that they aren't so completely ruthless that they'll let Katara be taken prisoner without a second thought. But if they'd given her any more hinting that things would turn ugly, they'd have to compromise The Grand Plan, which is ultimately more important to them. (You get to find out why later.)

Anyhoo, I've rambled on enough, goodbye for now peoples!

(Oh, and by the way, see that button down there? The one that says 'review'? You see it? You do? Good. Click it. Please.)


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Disclaimer**: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.

* * *

Of course neither of them was able to sleep that night. Katara was too wound up; even trying to sit still was seemingly beyond her. Every time she did she began to feel her heart rate pick up, her fists would clench, her breathing would become shallower because _there was no way out. _Zuko would look at her, concerned – at least he was managing to sit down – and Katara would be forced to take a deep breath, force her mouth up into what she hoped was an encouraging-I'm-devising-an-escape-plan smile, Zuko would look away, and the cycle would repeat.

Neither of them spoke for quite some time. At first, Zuko had tried to talk to her, but Katara couldn't respond. Not until she had a plan.

_Think, Katara, _she mentally told herself, standing before one of the metal walls and placing her hands against it, trying to steady herself, _there has to be a way out of here. _Her palms felt slick from sweat. _THINK, Katara. _They slid down the wall, and her arms now hung limply in front of her. _There has to be a way out ... _She bit down on her lip, trying hard not to cry, because there wasn't.

Around midnight, a Fire Nation soldier entered the cell, holding a pouch of water. He told Katara that she had been instructed to heal the cut up her arm, so that she would be ready to train with Hama when the waterbender arrived in Sho Lei. So she did, while being held at knifepoint. Apart from that, the two had very little contact with anyone else. Occasionally Katara would hear men talking outside the cell door – she decided that they must be guards.

'Zuko,' she asked in the early hours of the morning, finally too physically and emotionally exhausted to continue moving around, 'how long ago do you think that this was first planned? It must have taken some time for them to build cells down here, unless they learnt metalbending – which I doubt.'

The Fire Lord looked up at her. 'I think,' he said slowly, 'that this is a part of Old Sho Lei – over five hundred years ago there was a civil war here, and the rebels fled underground. Using earthbenders, they built an elaborate system of tunnels so they could get from one end of the city to another without being notice by the guards.

'The war lasted over fifty years, and my guess is that, over time, they started building cells down here to keep their prisoners in. According to official documents the boundaries of Old Sho Lei and the mine don't touch, but Nasou probably used earthbenders to extend the walls so that he could access the cells from the mine.'

'Who ended up winning?'

'What?'

'Who ended up winning? The rebels or the ... the other guys.' Katara frowned – she knew that Omashu had a king, but she hadn't heard a word spoken of royalty in Sho Lei.

'There was a Queen at the time,' explained Zuko, 'the rebels didn't like the political decisions she was making, so they tried to overthrow her. Almost every earthbender in the army left, that's how the tunnels were able to be built so quickly. The rebels eventually lost, though.'

'You sure know a lot.' Katara leaned back, resting her head against the cell war.

'I have to. It's my job.'

'Even Earth Kingdom history?'

'Yes. The Fire Nation is trying to form an alliance with the Earth Kingdom – we want permission to grow crops on some of their spare land. You see, refugees often fled their farming land which means they were left abandoned for long periods of time. Although a few did, many families couldn't be bothered to return. We were about to enter formal negotiations with the Earth King, after Sho Lei it would have been straight to Ba Sing Se.'

'Why are you telling me all of this?'

Zuko shrugged. 'Why not?'

Katara thought for a minute, but couldn't come up with an answer.

*

Katara blinked, wondering where she was. Her neck was felt simultaneously stretched and stiff. Fully opening her eyes, they met the dark grey of the cell wall, before realizing that her head was resting on Zuko's shoulder. _Her head was resting on Zuko's shoulder!_

'Good morning,' said Zuko, looking down at her.

Katara quickly jerked her head up. 'Sorry, I didn't mean – you didn't have –'

He smiled an empty smile. 'It's okay. I was waiting for you to reply to my question, and then I realized that you had fallen asleep. It had taken you so long; I didn't think it was fair to wake you up.'

'Oh, well, thanks,' said Katara as she sat up properly. 'Do you know what time it is?'

'Firebenders always rise with the sun,' began Zuko, 'and I was awake for about half an hour or so before you woke up.'

'So,' she finished for him, 'you think it's about half an hour past dawn?'

'Pretty much so.'

After a moment's pause, a thought came to mind. 'Do you think we'll be fed breakfast?' she asked.

'Even if we were, which I doubt will happen, I wouldn't eat any food that was served to us.'

'You think Ozai would have you poisoned?'

Zuko laughed dryly. 'As if we'd be that lucky. No, don't eat breakfast - if did Ozai feed us, it would only be so that we'd vomit later.'

Katara felt as if her blood had turned to ice. The next time she spoke, her voice was small. 'What's he going to do to you?'

'... I don't know.'

Fear grabbed at her heart – _of course he knows_ – and made Katara scared. 'You do know, you're just not telling me. I need to know this so I can be prepared.'

'It's not good, Katara.'

She looked up into his eyes. 'I don't care. I need to know this.'

Zuko sighed. 'Fine. In order to retake the Fire Nation throne, Ozai needs me to either voluntarily abdicate and name him as my successor, or kill me and claim that the throne is his because he was the previous Fire Lord, and that the crown passes back to him because I don't have any children, who, in that circumstance, would be eligible for the position.'

'What about Iroh? Technically, isn't the position of Fire Lord his?'

'Ozai won't let him live long enough to become a threat.' Zuko's voice was hoarse, hollow with something like despair.

'Zuko, your uncle will live. He's a strong man, and one of the best firebenders in the world.'

'I know,' Zuko hung his head, 'but that's not the problem. Personally, I think that Uncle is a better firebender than Ozai – but he's not nearly as ruthless. That's why he'll lose.'

'You think Iroh isn't ruthless? Have you ever seen him play Pai Sho?'

'Have you?'

'Well, no ... But Toph's told me that he's really cunning.'

'That's not the point! Pai Sho's just a game, this is real life! Do you have any idea how ruthless Ozai is? He had my mother banished because she murdered Azulon, after he ordered my father to kill me because he tried to steal the throne away from Uncle! He wouldn't think twice about killing his brother if it meant getting what he wanted!'

Katara didn't say anything. Instead, she reached out and put both her hands – it was hard to put just one there, what with them in handcuffs – on Zuko's arm.

'Your mother's still alive? How long have you known?'

Zuko turned away from her. 'Ozai told me during the Day of Black Sun. It was during the eclipse, he wanted to keep me there longer so he told me that she'd been banished.'

'Do you think he was lying?'

When Zuko did turn back to look at her, Katara saw that his eyes were bright with tears – and he was nodding.

'But I can't give up hope.'

Katara lifted her hands and moved Zuko's head so that it was resting on her shoulder, then taking one of his hands in her own. It wasn't an embrace, but it was close enough, and they stayed that way until Zuko's shoulders stopped shaking.

*

Ten minutes passed, but to Katara it might as well have been eternity and a day. The door to the cell opened, two rough-looking Earth Kingdom soldiers stepped in. They made no attempt to forcibly grab either Katara or Zuko, and, a little unsure of herself, she stepped out of the cell. A second later she heard Zuko's footsteps, and then she was grabbed from behind and pushed onwards.

The journey to the cavern where Ozai had been was longer than Katara remembered from the previous night – she wondered if the effects of her blood loss had been stronger than she had intended – and on arrival there she saw that Ozai was sitting on his red-gold throne.

'The prisoners are here as you requested, my lord.'

Ozai nodded once, Katara heard the shuffle of footsteps as the two soldiers backed out of the room. Out of the corner of her eye she saw more of them, guarding the perimeter of the cavern. For a few seconds, there was silence.

'What? No bowing? Has the new Fire Lord forgotten his manners?'Ozai's voice was mocking.

_Their eyes are the exact same shade of gold_ realized Katara, _too yellow to be honey, too dark to be the sun._

Zuko's jaw clenched. 'I am _not_ going to bow before you!' Beads of sweat clung to the side of his temple; she saw a vein pulsing there.

'You're not?' If anything, Ozai sounded amused. 'Well. We'll have to provide a little ... incentive, won't we?'

Katara noticed him make a small indication with his hand, then there was a rumbling sound, the ground had swallowed her up – _paincrushburn – _from the waist down – _crushpushbreak – _but this was different from what had happened with General Fong because not only – _hurtpainhurt – _was she below ground now, but whoever was responsible was also bending the earth so that it was pressing against her legs – something that would slowly yet inevitably crush the bones in her legs.

'Aah - aaah ...' Katara's fingers spread on the ground, she was gasping, too shocked to speak, she felt herself crumple to the ground because she was being crushed ...

'_What have you done to her?' _roared Zuko.

'Really, it's a rather simple earthbending technique – I'm surprised the Earth King didn't employ this tactic in his battles sooner. He might have actually won one that way.' Ozai chuckled darkly. 'To put it short, the earth around the waterbender from the waist down is being bent so that it's crushing her legs.'

'_Stop!'_

Ozai smirked. Disantly – _painpainpain – _Katara heard a thud. Tears streaming down her face, she turned it so that she could see Zuko. The thud had been his knees hitting the cavern floor.

The pressure on her legs ever-so-slightly released. She gasped, shuddering, fisting her hands, aware that the earth beneath her feet was raised.

'Well, well,' Ozai's voice was silky smooth, 'that wasn't so hard, was it?'

Zuko rose to his feet, extending a hand and helping Katara to her own.

'What do you want?'

Ozai smiled, dipping his chin slightly so that he could look his son in the eye.

'Always so quick to the point. I hope you're not this blunt with court proceedings, _Fire Lord Zuko_.' The sarcasm in Ozai's last three words was evident; Katara almost had the urge to look down at the ground and see if any of it had spilt onto the cavern floor.

'Were you this tactless with Mai?' continued Ozai, 'after all, everyone said it was merely a matter of time before you two broke up, all those terrible _arguments_ ...'

She started at Ozai's words – had Zuko and Mai been fighting? She thought back, but those months at the royal palace had been a blur, she'd barely been able to force herself to get out of bed in the mornings, let alone pay close attention to Zuko's love life.  
To her, Mai had always been the distant, knife-wielding figure whom she could never really trust – not after she'd worked side-by-side with Azula to try and capture Aang.

Katara glanced sideways.

'Let her go. It's me you want.'

Ozai's laugh echoed in the cavern.

'Very noble of you, but alas she is far too important.' He smiled, his mouth curving upwards. Katara shuddered, wincing inwardly as her wrists bumped against the handcuffs.

'Yet,' she began, stepping forward, out of the corner of her eye she saw Zuko's eyes widen in surprise, 'I can tell your original plans did not include me. Both Admiral Nasou and Lieutenant Ryuu tried to talk me out of it.' Katara was all-too aware that her voice was small, the words caught in the back of her throat and she had to drag them out, one by one.

'Small details,' Ozai's tone was dismissive, 'minor problems. We initially underestimated your importance, but now that you're here ... Your presence makes everything much easier.'

'And by 'everything' you mean _forcing_ Zuko to give up the throne?' she snapped.

If anything, Ozai looked faintly amused at her words. 'That's one way of putting it,' he agreed, 'although I'm sure there more pleasant ways of wording our situation.'

'As if pleasantries are the concerns of a _monster_,' she muttered under her breath.

The sharp stinging sensation across her cheek wasn't nearly as much of a surprise to Katara as Ozai's sudden presence was. Staggering back several steps – had he just _hit_ her? – and unceremoniously landing on the ground, to Katara her face feeling as if it were on fire. He was towering above her – _spirits how did he move that fast? – _hand raised as if to strike down, more likely that not with fire –

Searing heat against her cheek, there was the bitter taste of dirt in her mouth as she rolled sideways to avoid the flames. Scrambling to her feet, panting slightly, Katara found herself staring Ozai right in the eyes, _I'm looking at Death himself._

It was like standing in the eye of a storm. She felt unusually calm, almost as if there was another presence in the room, one reassuring her that everything would be okay, when she really should have been terrified beyond coherent thought.

Ozai was a static figure, his arm still extended from when he had firebent at her.

_Where he had firebent at her._

To Katara, it suddenly seemed as if time itself had stopped. It took several seconds, far longer than it should have, for the fact to register in her brain: that Ozai had done the impossible – firebending.

Her throat felt very dry.

_This is impossible this can't be happening Aang took his firebending away forever and this is impossible it can't be happening and – _Her thoughts became lots in a spiralling tornado of confusion and panic, disbelief and horror.

_Deep breaths, _she told herself, _stay calm. It's just a trick. There has to be a rational explanation for all of ..._

Ozai's smile was malicious, in his slightly cupped palm flickered a bright flame, casting long shadows against his face. Glancing sideways, Zuko's face was what she pictured her own to be – shock and horror, mingled with something that was desperately pleading for this not to be real.

'How ...' Zuko's single utterance encompassed everything she herself was trying to put into words.

'How I got my firebending back, mm? Yes, that was indeed _most_ interesting.' Fisting his hand, there was a faint hissing sound, the flame turned in on itself and disappeared. 'It appears that, on the day of the Avatar's death, my firebending simply ... reappeared. When appeared to be a complete removal of my firebending was merely a temporary block – designed to expire when the Avatar did.'

Katara's heart skipped several beats, her throat quickly closing up. To hear Aang described that way... Clambering to her feet, she stumbled slightly and fell forward – Zuko gripped her hand, pulling her up. She noticed red blood, cracked and dry, rimming the edges of his wrists where the handcuffs were, and she wondered if the simple action of reaching down to take her hand had hurt Zuko even more.

'Regardless, Fire Lord Zuko,' began Ozai, returning to sit in his throne, 'training begins now. It will take place every day from sunrise until sunset, until.'

'Until what?'

'Until an agreement can be reached – an agreement in which I regain title of Fire Lord and Phoenix King, and you ...' Ozai trailed off, letting the silence speak for itself.

'The people won't follow a tyrant like you,' Zuko's voice was defiant.

Ozai shrugged. 'They followed a family of them for over a hundred years. I doubt several more decades will make much more of a difference.'

'You underestimate your people – they want peaceful lives, not another war!'

'This one will not be nearly as long, the Air Nomads are completely gone, the Earth Kingdom's military is in shambles, scattered across the land. Victory is only a matter of time. And the Water Tribes will easily yield to my rule, once word has reached them of what I had done to their sister tribe.'

'You ...?' asked Zuko hoarsely.

'Had the raid on the Southern Water Tribe arranged?' Ozai smiled, 'yes, that was of my doing. Rather _unfortunate_, I heard the savages put up a brave fight, but absolutely necessary. The flag was a nice touch, though, don't you agree?'

Memories swam forward – _the crimson flag, dark as blood, tasting bile and vomiting straight onto the ground from the terror of it all – _and Katara felt sick.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Zuko open is mouth as if to question Ozai further, but he was beaten to it.

'To save time, Fire Lord, yes I also arranged the poisoning of your Water Tribe friend. Although, some credit must be given to the Admiral, without him the plan never could have been carried out.'

'Wh-?'

'How remarkably _unobservant_ of you,' Ozai's voice was mockingly disapproving, like a father scolding a young child, 'don't you remember that Admiral Nasou had brought his own staff with him upon arrival in the Fire Nation? Including a cook? The poison was added into a bowl of rice – yet the antidote was served to you in prior meals so you would be unaffected on the night. Even _you_ should have been able to figure that out.'

_This isn't ... possible. _Desperately, Katara re-ran Ozai's story though her mind, franticly searching for flaws that proved he was lying. But the pieces fit together like a puzzle, the picture formed was perfectly clear – a sinister, calculating picture at that. She stole a glance at Zuko, his dark eyebrows were pressed down into a frown, the corners of his mouth tensed.

'I will _not_ abdicate.'

'Very well. Training-'

Then she saw them.

'-Begins-'

Standing at the edge of the cavern, each clad in green, raising their arms to strike.

'-_Now_.'

The rumbling of earth moving, a scream:

'_NO!' _

(Was it hers?)

One, two, three steps, feeling the material of his shirt in his hands, pushing down _hard_, Zuko's gasp as he fell backwards, seeing out of the corner of her eye a boulder moving for her when it had been aimed for him – all the air knocked out of her lungs as she was pushed across the cavern, a smack as her back hit the rocky walls, a sickening thud as her head snapped backwards and hit the wall too and –

Everything faded to black.

* * *

**AN**: Whew - glad that's finally over. I apologize for the wait, I'm struggling to find time to write chapters. *Hopefully* it was worth the wait. I have a feeling that Ozai's coming off as a little more debonair in NaT than he did in the show, but then again I suppose that since he's in a position of total control, he can afford to be patient. I'm not trying to defend my writing here, if you don't like how I'm writing Ozai, _you can tell me_. I appreciate _all _my reviews, good or bad. And, speaking of our favourite power-mad-psycho, why did Ozai hit Katara, you may ask? My money's on that she hit a raw nerve. (Hint, Ursa-related, hint!)

Um, that's about all. Oh, I realized that, looking back through my previous chapters and ANs there, sometimes it seems I come off as really cold and distant. Nooooo! Seriously though, I think all you guys are _awesome _for taking the time to read my fic xD

Please review?


	20. Chapter Nineteen

Disclaimer: Disclaiming, disclaiming, disclaiming ...

* * *

Eyes fluttering open, Katara swam in and out of disorientation for several minutes before realizing where she was. Awkwardly shuffling up into a sitting position, metal handcuffs painfully rubbing against her wrists, and blearily surveying her surrounding, a thought rose to the surface of her conscience as she realized she had no company: _Where's Zuko?_

Swaying slightly as she pulled herself up onto her feet, Katara, remembering the boulder slamming her into the cavern wall, looked down at her stomach. It was hard to tell where the blood ended at the crimson material of her dress began – but after pressing her fingertips against her stomach, concluded that it was nothing more than some long scratches and heavy bruising, which would, with or without the aid of her healing abilities, heal with time. Hopefully. There wasn't much time left.

She saw the tray in front of the door. It was a simple wood one, roughly made, chipped and worn at the handles from age. On the tray was a small bowl, upon further inspection the bowl contained what appeared to be rice, unappetizingly cold and clumped together in sticky white bundles.

Grimacing slightly, half-wondering how long she had been knocked unconscious, Katara tugged the tray towards her and prepared to eat the rice, only to be interrupted by several harsh knocks on the cell door, and a coarse voice that boomed:

'We're bringing the Fire Lord in. I want you facing the wall and your hands where I can see 'em.'

There was a creaking noise as the metal door slid open, the sounds of shallow, panicked breathing, stumbling footsteps mingled with cruel laughter, the dull thud of flesh hitting flesh, the familiar screeching protest as the cell door shut. Katara instantly spun around.

Her scream was cut off quickly – she pressed her hands firmly against her mouth in a desperate attempt to quell it.

'Hi ... Zuko here.'

'Zuko, _what have they done to you_?'

He peered up at her, his gold eyes lost in a sea of purple-black bruises and dry blood.

'You're ...' if anything, his voice was relived, 'you're okay ...' He slumped forward slightly, Katara rushed forward to wrapped her arms around him, barely stopping him from hitting the ground.

'Yes, I'm fine,' she voice bubbled on the edge of hysteria, 'I'm-'

'They said they'd hurt you,' he mumbled into the base of her throat, his lips brushing against her skin, 'they ... they said they'd give you a scar to match mine.'

Katara shuddered, squeezing him harder. 'I'm fine,' she whispered, desperately wishing there was truth in her words, because she knew as well as Zuko did that everything was _not _okay, 'I'm fine ...'

Zuko sighed, all of the tension leaving his body. For a second she just held him, and wondered what it would be like to stay that way forever.

'T-there's,' she stumbled on her first word, trying to hold back tears, 'there's food, if you want any.'

She felt him shake his head. 'I'm not hungry.'

'You need to eat.'

'I'd rather sleep.'

Katara paused, not entirely sure of what to say. 'You mean right here, because it's gonna be kind of hard for me to eat with you in my arms and all.' She tried to keep her voice light, but it shook regardless.

Zuko chuckled lowly, pulling himself up as Katara lifted her arms so he could be free of her hold on him. Seeing Zuko properly for the first time, she was able to get a proper look at his injuries. Bruises akin to the ones on his face ran in alarmingly similar patterns down his arms, angry red scratches, some disturbingly deep, there too. Watching the way he moved, Katara guessed that no bones had been broken, but she knew it was only a matter of time before _that_ happened.

'You okay?'

She was jolted out of her thoughts suddenly. 'Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Guess I got a bit spaced out,' she reached for the bowl of rice, awkwardly scooping some up in her hands, 'sorry,' she apologized through a mouthful of it, pulling a face.

'Katara,' something in Zuko's voice made her look up, 'I haven't thanked you yet for what you did for me in the cavern.'

Katara involuntarily flinched at the memories, the pain of the boulder hitting her in the stomach, the sickening crack of her head hitting the wall ... 'It was nothing.'

Zuko turned away from her. 'Nobody's ... Nobody's ever done something like that for me before.'

'Aang did.' She had no idea where the words had come from; she knew she had not planned to say them. But it was true.

'He would have done that for anyone. You ... Toph ... Sokka,' Zuko gestured with his hand to the ceiling, 'anyone.'

'I helped you just like anyone would.'

'Right.'

'Well, not _anyone_ ...' she glanced towards the cell door, wondering if the guards were still there, 'but, you know,' Katara awkwardly cradled the bowl of rice in her lap, 'like a friend would.'

'So we're friends again?'

'Sure we are,' she held the bowl to her mouth; the taste of the rice reminded her of dirt.

'But on Appa ...'

She avoided looking into his eyes. 'I was mad. Not at you,' she added quickly, dropping her gaze to the cell floor. 'I was angry at myself ... I wasn't sure what was right or wrong anymore, it was like –'

'I know what you mean,' Zuko said, and he sounded so sincere that she couldn't make herself be annoyed for him interrupting her.

Katara bit down on her lip. 'I'm sorry,' she whispered.

He looked up at her fleetingly. 'Me too.'

It was as if a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders – she couldn't help but smile from relief. 'Make-up hug?' Katara asked sheepishly, raising her arms awkwardly.

Zuko shuffled over on all fours, the metal of his handcuffs clanking against the floor. He put his arms around Katara's neck; she lifted her own around the back of his head, resting her hands at the base of his skull. For a second, nobody said anything.

'... Hi.' Zuko's voice was muffled slightly.

'... Hi ...' Katara was extremely aware that their noses were almost touching. All of the sudden, the cell felt very small and was it just her or was it getting hot in here?

'I ... ah ...'

Zuko leaned in closer, his lips parted slightly.

'Katara, there's something I've ...' He gulped.

No, it wasn't just her; there were beads of sweat clinging to his temple.

'... Um, sort have been-'

_Sweat!_

'-Wanting to -'

Katara gasped, and stood up very quickly. 'Zuko, you're a _genius_!'

He raised his eyebrows questioningly. The next time she spoke, Katara made an effort to keep her voice low, in case the guards were still hanging around the cell door.

'Waterbenders,' her voice was hushed, 'can bend different types of liquid, not just water – I can bend sweat, too. When Toph and I were stuck in prison,' Zuko's eyes briefly widened in surprise at her words, 'I used my sweat to make water and cut through the wooden bars. Maybe it could do the same thing here.' She eyed the cell walls, wondering how many slices of a water-knife it would take to cut through the metal. 'Stand back.'

Zuko obliged.

Ten minutes and absolutely no progress made later, Katara came to the conclusion that it was exceedingly harder to waterbend with her hands in handcuffs than it was with them free.

'Shut up,' she hissed, glaring in Zuko's direction.

'I didn't say anything-'

'Well you were thinking it,' Katara made a _hmph _noise and sat down on the floor, drawing her knees up to her chin and staring fixedly at the wall.

'It was a good plan.'

Katara lifted the corners of her mouth up, attempting to smile. She failed miserably.

'Well, yeah,' she swallowed, 'I try my best. Your turn now.'

'My turn?'

'Mmm-hmm. Your turn to invent a potentially workable plan, only for it to fail.'

'If it's any help, getting out of this cell isn't going to solve any of our problems. There's still Ozai and the guards-'

'-Plus we don't have an earthbender to get us out of here,' interrupted Katara. 'Our only real chance of getting out of here is holding out long enough until our families realize that something's gone wrong.'

'Wrong is putting it a bit lightly, Zuko.'

Wrongwas finding out that the wrong type of flowers had arrived at the formal dinner, wrongwas wearing sash that didn't match with your dress. Wrong wasn't fear so cold it clutched at your heart and _shattered _it in a single go, it wasn't the rusty smell of blood in the air, it wasn't holding someone you _loved _in your arms and feeling your heart crack because there was nothing you could do about it –

'Sorry. I forgot that you were the optimistic one.' Zuko's face was deadpan, but the corner of his mouth twitched nevertheless.

'Did you just … crack a joke?' Katara couldn't believe it, and while maybe her voice was still snuffly from tears, she could feel the tiny cracks in her heart sealing up. Just like that.

'Possibly,' he smirked.

'This is _so_ not the right time or place!' For a second she was tempted to hit him, and under other circumstances would have – if not for the fact that the Dai Li had clearly beat her to it, and these days every strike on Zuko was a strike on her heart.

'Okay, fine.'

'Fine!'

'I thought we were meant to be trying to stop arguing!'

Zuko kept his gaze on the floor. 'I don't remember to agreeing to that.'

'Well we should! How do you expect us to be able to find a way out of here if we can't even have a normal conversation without fighting?'

He shrugged.

'_Zuko!'_

And then he looked up at Katara and the absurdity of the situation hit her. She was sitting in a _cell, _with the Fire Lord, who was possibly the only person who she could trust right now, and in less than ten minutes of them making up from a previous argument, she'd begun yelling at him again. And so Katara did the only thing she could do: she laughed. She laughed until her stomach hurt and her sides ached, until tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and started to spill down and she started to sob, until Zuko wrapped his arms around her and waited for the cries to subside. Until she didn't have to be strong anymore because she was tired of being the lifeline.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered into his shirt minutes later.

Zuko's face was pressed against her shoulder. His eyelashes were wet.

'I'm going to get you out of here.'

Her sigh was shaky. 'Zuko ...'

He lifted his head up. 'No, I will. I promise –'

'Don't ...' her voice was weak. Promises hurt, and the last thing she needed was more pain.

'No,' Zuko's fingers dug into her shoulders, 'I promise.'

Barely five seconds of silence passed before there was the sound of one of the guards opening the door, but during those last seconds of quiet Katara looked at Zuko and something passed between them – something that she couldn't quiet put a name to. Some emotions just couldn't be put into words, but as she scrambled to her feet and ordered the guard that she be taken with Zuko to wherever he was going – because where Zuko went, Katara went – she finally realized what their silence had said.

But before she could discreetly tug at Zuko's elbow and give him a look that said she knew, the door to Ozai's chamber burst open and after so long in the cell the light was blinding. But it wasn't just Ozai, another figure was standing next to him –

Katara's knees buckled.

'Hello, dear.'

* * *

**AN**: So clearly when I say I'm updating soon, it means months and months later. Gah.

Basically, the problem is that I can't look back at Now and Then without wanting to kick myself several times because, in hindsight, parts of it are really, really horrible ... But I want to finish it. Hopefully posting this chapter will give me the motivation to get writing again, because everyone who's stuck by and read this deserves an ending. Once again, you guys are awesome.

Please review :-)


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